


The Sins of the Father

by f_imaginings



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Ed likes little shits apparently, Envy is a little shit, Father is defeated AU, Gen, Homunculus Program AU, I'm not kidding, Regeneration, Shapeshifting, Slow Burn, WIP, edvyweek 2017, greatedvycaper, humanity are the real monsters maybe, oh no wait the monsters are actually the real monsters, really slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2018-09-17 04:36:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 47,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9304550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/f_imaginings/pseuds/f_imaginings
Summary: Homunculus agents are talented alchemists, with special skills unique to espionage and combat situations. They have abilities that most alchemists cannot attain, but they are... damaged.At least that's the official story.Colonel Mustang's Investigations Unit are assigned a Level 7 Homunculus Operative to investigate a serial homicide case. Enlisting one of these special agents is supposed to make the investigation easier.But Agent Envy never made anyone's life easier.Written for the 2017 Great Edvy Caper and #fourthsinofamestris.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thefourthsinofamestris](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=thefourthsinofamestris).



> This fic is being posted as a WIP and will be continued periodically. I'd like to thank my wonderful sister, the Ed to my Al, for checking this fic for continuity errors with her big brain.  
> In the fic Ed is 19 and working for Roy's unit with Al while simultaneously investigating ways to get their bodies back.  
> For Envy, I am using they/them pronouns for whenever Envy is themselves, and when they transform into a particular person then their pronouns match the gender of the person they shifted into.  
> In this fic the first homunculus, The Father, is dead, and has been for 500 years, which has changed the events of current Amestris, but only slightly.  
> I hope you all enjoy it.

_In those days they shall say no more, The fathers have eaten a sour grape, and the children's teeth are set on edge._  
_Jeremiah 31:29-34_

 

**_Chapter One_ **

The photos strewn about the board room table in Central HQ's special investigations department painted a gory picture. 

"I didn't think arms could bend that way." Lieutenant Breda put down one of the photographs, somewhat sickened. 

"I didn't know there could be..." Sergent Fuery pushed one of the photos away from him with his finger. "So much blood." 

"And from just one victim." Officer Falman rubbed his chin, observing the messy tableau on the table before him. "What sort of profile are we looking at for the killer here? I've seen stab wounds this numerous from crimes of passion, but the rest - it's meticulous, sadistic, possibly sociopathic."

"Just our luck, eh?" Lieutenant Havoc huffed, chewing on the butt of an unlit cigarette, leaning back in his chair. "Finally posted on a hard hitting case, bumped up the line to Central, and this is the kind of shit we run into, straight off the bat. Should've stayed in East City." 

"Remember that one homicide, you can't say things like this never happened in East City." Lieutenant Breda shrugged, looking across the table at Havoc. 

"That time was different. In Liore you could clearly see the M.O. of the killer. Religious nut harbouring delusions of grandeur, with a cathedral sized grudge against alchemists, any alchemists." Havoc gestured to the pictures with his hand. "I don't see that here. I don't see any sort of pattern routed in that kind of exploitable instability. I don't see any pattern apart from how goddamn messy they like to get their hands here." 

"There is a pattern though." Fuery noted, pushing his glasses up his nose. "Three victims, all high ranking military officials, all decorated state alchemists, all of them showing p-prolonged signs of torture, grievous bodily harm prior to death, and next to no sign of a struggle." The young Sergent was proud that he only stuttered once, delivering his assessment. Trying to piece together the sequence of events depicted in these pictures would make a lesser man shudder. 

"That shows that the guy has an agenda, it doesn't show instability, it shows a plan." Havoc surmised. 

"Did the plan have to be that messy?" Officer Falman shook his head, leaning back in his chair. "How could something so graphic not be personal?" 

Lieutenant Breda stood up from the table, looking to the adjoining meeting room to the side of the board room. "Where are the Elric brothers on the case? We need their assessment here. Whatever we can do to profile this bastard, before he takes his next victim." 

"Yo, Edward." Havoc called out, his voice booming across the room. "What have you got for us? Are you coming out yet?"

"Give us a minute!" Ed's voice yelled back, the sound of metal clanging, and papers shuffling coming from out behind the door. When one strained to listen, one could hear the brothers murmuring between themselves, the scratch of pen to paper indicating progress. "If his next victims are here, then we can rule out this division."  

"The Lieutenant General's guard might be ineffective if the killer is getting around the way we assume, brother." Alphonse responded, their voices muffled by the door. 

"We need that map of Central's sewage system, where did I put the map?" 

"It's under your elbow, brother." 

"What elbow?" 

"The other elbow." 

"You said the other elbow!"

"I meant the other other elbow." 

Havoc raised an eyebrow, looking at the door. "You think they'll be a while." 

While the Elric brothers bickered over paperwork in the adjoining room just to the left, the door on the right side of the room leading out into the corridor slammed open. Colonel Roy Mustang stamped through the door, closely followed by his first lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, carrying several thick, heavy files under her arm. Riza's expression was as impassive as ever, but Mustang looked pissed.

"Breda, how are we going on the profiling. Do we have any leads yet?"

Breda snapped a salute at the Colonel, as did the rest of the unit upon Mustang's arrival. "We've still been going over the case files, sir. Profiling is inconclusive at the moment, but we're working on it."

"We need to work harder." Mustang commented. "The pressure to close this case neatly and quickly has been mounting by the second. How are the Elric brothers going, why aren't they here?"

The door to the adjoining room opened at this point, Mustang turned his head to look for Edward, but he appeared to be sitting on the floor, leaning out of the door on his elbow, waving papers in his hand.

"Don't talk like we're not here, who do you think has been piecing together research all goddamn day?" 

"Why are you sitting on the floor?" Mustang questioned, peering across the board table to look down at the brothers. Ed was cross legged surrounded by maps, papers, and endless post it notes stuck in a detailed array across the floor of the adjoining room. His brother Alphonse was standing, his tall armoured frame holding several maps upright for his brother. The maps were also covered with post it notes. 

"I'm writing something here!" Ed gestured to the post it note carnage, an organised chaos that started climbing up the walls. 

"Well stop writing." Mustang ordered. "Come out here and deliver your findings. We need everyone pouring over this information together until something clicks. You're forgetting we have a time limit." 

"Lieutenant General Raven has a time limit." Riza corrected. "We have confirmation he is the next target." 

All heads in the room turned to look at her. 

"Intel just came in from Central Intelligence." She added, placing the thick files she was carrying on the table, opening the files and spreading out the contents. "They found Major General Harris's son's body this morning." 

"Goddamnit." Havoc ground the cigarette butt down with his molars, furious. "What, was he a witness?"

"It's likely, yes." Riza continued, calmly laying out the new crime scene photographs on the table for the team to view. A clanking noise sounded from the other room as Alphonse put down the maps, and he and his brother entered the room, crowding around the table to see the new evidence, a morose expression lighting their faces. 

After a few minutes wherein the group poured over the new photographs and documents, the discussion continued. 

"This going after the witnesses has to be connected, but the style of murder is completely different." Fuery noted. "Precise, and quick, not so theatrical. Do you think the killer has an accomplice?" 

"No." Riza replied. "Forensics identified the same pattern of stab wounds as the other victims, whatever the murder weapon is, it was used here. We're thinking that whatever the murder weapon is, it is jagged enough to make the multiple incisions with a single blow, rather than the many repeated stabbings we were assuming before." 

"Has forensics had any luck finding trace elements in the wounds?" Falman asked. "If they're using the same murder weapon each time we should have found some sort of trace that can link the murders in the incisions. Maybe lead us to where one could come across such a weapon?" 

"Whatever they're using, it still leaves no trace residue at the crime scene." Mustang shook his head, tapping a gloved finger to the photo in front of him, the lifeless eyes of Major General Harris' son staring blankly up. "Barring the wounds left on the victim of course." 

"We haven't ruled out alchemy as integral to the murderer's M.O." Edward spoke up. "McDougal, the Freezing Alchemist, did something similar with icicles, though we could usually find the melted residue at the crime scene quick enough. Given how quickly we're finding the bodies though, it's not ice. Ice doesn't melt that fast, and if it were melted with alchemy we would see the wounds cauterise." 

"How did you find confirmation of the next victim?" Alphonse asked, his voice echoing from inside the metal of his armour. 

"That's the interesting thing." Riza brought one of the photos from the file out and placed it on the middle of the table. "Whatever the murder weapon is, it seems like it was wielded almost carelessly with Harris' son. One blow, instead of several repeated ones, snapping the ribcage quickly. I believe the murderer was leaving, and killed Frederick as an afterthought, upon discovering him witnessing the act. It seems the killer assumed Frederick's immediate death, and left him to bleed out. Given the positioning of Frederick's hand, it seems he was the one to write Raven's name in his own blood - a warning. Frederick was only a relatively new recruit, his attempt to warn the Lieutenant General showed admirable courage." 

"And how is the Lieutenant General responding to this warning?" Breda queried, looking up from his own papers to Riza for her answer. 

"Predictably." Riza replied. 

"Well, you could say he's taken it to heart." Roy shrugged, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. 

"Locked himself away, has he?" Ed surmised. 

"With a round the clock guard of Central's finest, to prevent the circumstances that led to the other three victims. Since the murders all happened in seclusion, away from the public eye, Lieutenant General Raven has decided he needs 14 fully trained military regimented eyes on him at all times, and he has increased his security tenfold." Roy replied. 

"Wouldn't you?" Falman nodded to the pictures splashing agonising death across their tabletop. "Knowing this?" 

The unit all collectively stared at the photographs, and their investigation continued on into the night. 

* * *

 

_TWO MONTHS LATER._

Two months and three more bodies later, the total death count rising to six military personnel, the situation was getting out of hand. Lieutenant General Raven was still alive, maintaining that his round the clock military escort was essential to his survival, and several other high ranking officers were benefiting from Raven's paranoia. If you were a high ranking alchemist serving Amestris under the military, maintaining a constant guard became essential, and people were scared. Not just military personnel. The papers had picked up on the sensationalist story and ran with it. A gruesome serial killer terrorising Amestris' top brass within the military. People didn't feel safe in their beds at night, knowing someone somewhere could find someone in the dark, while they were alone, and do what the papers only flimsily described.

The papers hadn't had access to the photos. Colonel Mustang's unit had, and they were hunting for this killer every day - every day discovering that whatever this was, it ran far deeper than it seemed.  

The unit in question were in the office the day Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes, director of investigations, came to visit, bearing bad news. 

"Roy Boy! How are you my friend?" Hughes had a big personality, his warm enthusiasm filled the whole room, though the large manila folder under his arm suggested this was a visit for business, not pleasure. 

"Working. We've been chasing leads on our perp for the past week. We're getting somewhere, just not fast enough." Roy replied with a slight frown. 

"Well, I may have something that might speed things up for you guys." Hughes scratched the back of his neck, shrugging. "You may not like it though." 

The other members of the unit looked up from their respective cubbies, putting aside the work they were doing to listen in. The Elric brothers paused their discussion by the wall to the left of the room, a wall that had been entirely transformed into a giant cork board, courtesy of alchemy. The wall was absolutely covered in information about the case, and a multitude of post it note annotations, detailing every picture, map, and mortuary report. 

Anything to speed this investigation up would be a lifesaver, literally. The team had been out in the field in the past two months chasing every lead they had, and they found plenty to think on, plenty to put up on the board, but not many answers that didn't lead to more questions. Ed and his brother, as the state alchemists that were usually on point in these field missions had seen more than enough to raise questions about how deep this situation goes, more than enough questions about their killer. 

 Hughes looked over his shoulder, aware that he held the collective attention of the unit. He leaned close to Roy and murmured. "You've got one of those side rooms there, don't you. You should hear this first." 

Roy's brow furrowed, and he stood up from his chair, looking around at his team, before nodding and leading Hughes to one of the adjoining meeting rooms. Before closing the door, Roy addressed the unit. 

"As you were." 

The door closed behind him. 

The unit exchanged looks amongst themselves, confusion and curiosity evident on their faces. 

Across the room, Edward attempted to slink across to the closed door, intent to eavesdrop written clearly all over his face. 

"Brother, what are you doing?" Al asked, unimpressed. 

"I just want to listen." Ed replied, inching ever closer to the door. The rest of the unit were trying studiously not to look, except for Alphonse, who was used to his brother's blatant disregard for his superiors. 

"Oh yes, and the Colonel pretty much slamming the door in your face was clearly an invitation to press your ear to the door." Al sighed, watching his brother do exactly that. 

"Shh, they're talking." Ed barely had to bend down to press his ear to the keyhole. 

"You know those rooms are soundproof." Al would have rolled his eyes if he could. 

"The keyhole isn't." Ed replied, rubbing his hands together, cackling. 

If Ed were paying attention he would hear the sound of Al's armour clanking as he backed away from the door sharpish. Because Ed wasn't paying attention, when Riza grabbed him by the ear and dragged him away from the door, he howled. 

"The Colonel said as you were, so as you were." 

Ed's squawking protestations were silenced by the look Riza gave him. 

"As you were." 

"Yes ma'am."

* * *

 

In the adjoining room, Hughes and Mustang stood around the table in the middle of the room. Hughes put the manila folder on the table, and sighed, shooting a wry look at Roy. 

"It doesn't look good. Lieutenant Generals dropping like flies is one thing during war - but this is peacetime. Whatever this is, a power grab, conspiracy, a personal vendetta, stopping it has become national priority. The council doesn't like how this is escalating." 

"They're not taking the case from us are they?" Roy questioned. "We've been making progress. The investigation has been turning up evidence, we just need more time. Time and resources." 

"Well, they're giving you resources." Hughes said, which should be good news, but his expression was grim. "That's the bad news." 

Roy's eyes dropped to the folder on the table. He looked at Hughes briefly, before pulling the folder over to him, opening it to look at the files within. Within the file were documents, contracts, and profiles.

At the top right corner of each page, a symbol was stamped in red ink. An ouroboros. The dragon swallowing its own tail. 

"Do you remember, in Ishval?" Hughes began. "Hearing about the Homunculus Project?" 

Roy looked up from the papers sharply, surprised and shocked. "They're not assigning us one of those, are they?" 

"What do you know about the Homunculus Project?" Hughes asked Roy, crossing his arms over his chest. 

Roy frowned. He pulled out a chair and sat down, elbows on the table, one hand massaging his forehead. "About as much as anyone knows. Homunculus agents are talented alchemists, with special skills unique to espionage and combat situations. They were assigned to certain divisions in Ishval, and in other skirmishes to the north, and west. I heard about how up near Briggs a single agent took out an entire battalion of Drachma tanks just by running into them. They have abilities that most alchemists cannot attain, but they are... damaged."

"Damaged?" Hughes shifted, crossing over his arms, before he looked up at the ceiling, and sighed. "I guess you could call them that. Unfit for active duty is another phrase they use. Permanently incapacitated. Mandatorally detained. Locked up for their own good is about what it amounts to. They are... damaged." 

"Wouldn't assigning a damaged operative to our case be a liability and not an asset?" Roy questioned. 

"Desperate times, I guess." Hughes shrugged. "I don't like our chances without one, but to tell you the truth I don't relish having to bring one in on this. There's a reason they haven't taken the investigation out of your hands at this point. Since they are escalating this mission to include a Homunculus agent, well, onboarding one of these particular agent's is a bit of a double edged sword." 

"Babysitting duty, is it?" Roy smiled wryly. "Whatever unit is assigned a Homunculus operative also bears the responsibility for their actions I take it?" 

"No." Hughes explained. "The military long gave up assuming a Homunculus agent would accept or bear any responsibility for its actions. When I say 'damaged' I don't just mean it in the sense that one might be damaged after seeing too much in the line of duty, of bearing those scars. These agents don't think like the rest of us. They're almost inhuman, lacking remorse, like blunt objects. They've been treated as a weapon by the state for so long, for years, generations even, if you'll believe some of the stories. It's uncertain if they were weapons before, or after the military found them. The unit that is assigned a Homunculus operative wouldn't simply have to be responsible for them - they are required, by contract even, to control the operative." 

Mustang flicked through the folder. "I take it there's a contract for us in here?" 

"A very exacting one." Hughes nodded. "I've seen the typical contract for 'leasing' one of these operatives. There was one assigned to clean up in Ishval, if you'll remember." 

The moment of silence between them was remembrance of exactly that. The carnage, the slaughter of Ishvalan citizens was so prolific, on such a wide scale, that a Homunculus operative was assigned to dispose of the bodies. Roy wasn't sure what kind of alchemy they used. The bodies of the citizens didn't even make it to a landfill, instead they were piled up and annexed, a gruesome towering mass, evidence of their genocide there one day, then gone overnight. They didn't burn them, Roy would have caught the scent on the wind. They were just gone, devoured by the war, not even buried with dignity. 

There were rumours that they called in a special operative for that. Though Homunculus operatives back then were just rumours. The rumour that circulated the army barracks was that they called in their special agent, code-name Gluttony. It was said he had an appetite for such things, and the horror at the thought of a person who wouldn't flinch when confronted with such carnage, who would instead specialise in it, inspired campfire tales to scare the new recruits, until no one was sure if Homunculus agents weren't just ghost stories, or whispers on the wind. 

"I saw his contract. Code-name Gluttony would have been about a Level 2 Homunculus operative. I don't know who had the clearance to authorise this, but the paperwork here says they've assigned you a Level 7." 

"So on a scale from one to ten?" Roy queried. 

"The scale only goes up to seven, unfortunately. Whoever they've assigned you, you'll have your hands full." 

Roy exhaled, and rubbed his forehead, before he started looking through the file Hughes had given him in earnest. 

"They've really sprung this on you actually." Hughes scratched at his beard while Roy read. "Once the team has been briefed you'll be escorted to the third laboratory to collect your operative from the holding cells." 

"Holding cells? So we are to cart about an incredibly skilled felon, is about what this amounts to?" 

"The only reason leasing out one of these agents is legal is because they're classed as a controllable weapon, technically." 

"Technically." Roy shook his head and continued reading. "It mentions here that the operative will be installed with apparatus. What does that mean, they're giving an unstable agent a gun?" 

"The agent is the gun." Hughes leaned over Roy's shoulder, finding the correct paper in the folder and pointing to the diagram. "That's the apparatus. It's like a tracking device, with safeguards." 

"And the safeguards are for?" 

"For your own protection. In case you need to incapacitate your operative." 

"Incapacitate them?" Roy laughed, though he seemed more tired than amused. "This just gets better and better. So it's assumed that we will have a need to incapacitate our own agent. Are they that uncooperative?" 

"The contract likes to anticipate a lot of things. Hopefully some of the clauses are irrelevant." 

Roy squinted at the final pages of the contract. "We have to sign a waiver?" 

"Standard legal procedure for leasing out one of these bastards."

"In case of an individual's death at the hands of leased Homunculus operative, the individuals, as signed below, waive any and all legal action against the military of Amestris, in accordance with the honourable discharge, and funeral proceedings as provided by the Amestran government et al." Roy read out. 

"Like I said, we are hoping those clauses will be irrelevant." Hughes chuckled. 

"And the whole team has to sign off on this?" Roy scoffed, scandalised. "I can't ask them to do this. We're supposed to invite a potentially lethal agent into our unit, and just hope that whatever they do that makes them a Level 7 weapon, they do pointed away from my team? What kind of assurance does that give us that this isn't just us taking on a bigger problem than our mysterious serial killer out there?" 

"The assurance is the safeguards. The apparatus. Unpleasant as it is, according to the scientists from the third laboratory, the apparatus is a sufficient deterrent against any bad behaviour on behalf of your operative." 

"God, and they call us dogs of the military." Roy rubbed his forehead, nursing his growing headache at all of this. "I don't know what's more disturbing, that they practically trained these agents with the threat of punishment from this thing - or that there was a need for these safeguards as a deterrent in the first place. I don't want to know what kind of precedence brought that to light." 

"Neither do I." Hughes pulled a chair out next to Roy, and sat down. While Roy poured over the papers, Hughes kicked his feet up and watched, answering questions where they cropped up. 

 It was a long time until they emerged from the adjoining room, and by the time they explained to the team a somewhat edited version of exactly what the protocol would be for handling their newly acquired operative, it was just about evening. 

Once the unit had discussed the ins and outs of this new acquisition, and they had all signed the contract, every last one of them, the moon was hanging in the sky, and stars were out. It was a pleasant, balmy night, all things considered, and when Major Armstrong arrived to escort the unit to the holding facility at the third laboratory, the tension that the team felt couldn't possibly be in the air.

But it was there, nonetheless. 


	2. Chapter 2

_We know that whosoever is born of God sinneth not; but he that is begotten of God keepeth himself, and that wicked one toucheth him not.  
1 John 5:18  _

**_Chapter Two_ **

The head scientist that led the unit down the long white corridors of the third laboratory was a most disgruntled alchemist.

"You know, I tried to appeal this to the Brigadier General. I told Basque Grand that they weren't ready, but apparently, the situation is dire." The scientist complained, clearly disagreeing. "You could have been assigned any other operative. Any other one. I'm not finished with this one yet."

"How do you mean?" Roy queried, politely.

"They have an attitude problem."  The scientist sniffed.

Behind him Ed snorted. "That's all? If attitude problems were enough to rule someone out of active duty, I reckon about half of the military would be out of a job." 

"You would be immediately disqualified, if that were indeed the case." Roy replied, turning to look at the blonde alchemist as they walked, his expression notably smug. 

"Yeah, you and me both." Ed snarked back. 

The unit turned the corner, to walk down yet another impossibly long white corridor. The scientist was leading them deeper and deeper into the bowels of the third laboratory. While they walked, the scientist maintained his running commentary. 

"I've made sure, at least, to install your agent with the most up to date technology, linking to the apparatus. It's not often a Level 7 is let out into the field for such an extended duration. Back in the day, we preferred to send this agent on more specific, targeted missions." 

"What sort of missions, back in the day?" Roy continued his train of polite inquiry, obviously fishing for more information.

Information that the chatty scientist seemed all too pleased to give. 

"Oh, infiltration and espionage were a speciality, our operative is uniquely attuned to such aspects, though usually we would pair this operative with a sister agent. Homunculus work best in groups, or they did, back when they were a cohesive unit." 

"How many Homunculus agents do you house in this facility?" Roy pressed, his expression one of benign curiosity. 

"We have four in this facility, though unfortunately we cannot lease out our sister agent to join you on this mission. She is being deployed currently to the east, and now thanks to the Brigadier General, our facility will be down to two Homunculus subjects, which is most inconvenient, I assure you." 

The scientist led them to a metal elevator at the end of the corridor. The keypad by the elevator was heavy duty and required three passwords, fingerprint scans, as well as vocal recognition for entry. While the head scientist input the passwords, the unit muttered conversation between them.

"Why are we being assigned an espionage agent to a homicide case?" Havoc questioned.

"And why is this sister agent already deployed? I thought you said they only involved Homunculus agents as a last resort?" Breda added.

"Clearly there is more going on here than we were informed." Roy replied, taking care to make sure his murmured discussions with the team were kept out of earshot of the scientist. "If nothing else, involving this agent will cut to the quick of the answers. We've heard more pertinent information in this one day than we have for the past month on the case."

"I don't like the direction this is going." Falman frowned, already piecing things together.  

"At least it's going  _somewhere_." Ed urged. "If I have to stakeout another state diplomatic meeting, I'm going to explode." 

Alphonse nodded. "He really is going to explode." 

The elevator was finally unlocked, and the scientist ushered them in. 

It was a significantly roomy elevator, taller than most, and clearly reinforced. They seemed to be going down for quite some time. 

"We're almost there. I'll have to give you a proper introduction." Said the scientist. 

They finally reached the sub-level, and emerged to follow the head scientist through several more reinforced steel doors, flanked by guards, until they came out into a wide room. 

The room was split in two, by a thick reinforced pane of bulletproof glass. Guards stood watch on the outside of the glass, the side that the unit filed into from the final reinforced steel door. There were heavy machines, and desks with monitors and beeping equipment on this side of the glass, and on the other side of the glass, was what looked like a very barren white walled bedroom, with the barest of furnishings. A couch, a bed, an abundance of cushions, and what seemed like a pile of sketchbooks littered the room behind the glass. The cushions had been piled up behind the frame of the couch, so the couch effectively blocked ones view of the cushions, moreover, of the person reclining on those cushions. 

A swinging leg protruded from behind the couch. The Homunculus agent within seemed to be laying on their belly on the cushions near the ground, swinging their legs idly in the air. The scratching sound of pen on paper was all that could be heard of the agent behind the glass. 

If they could hear the barest sound of pen on paper, the team could be sure that the Homunculus heard the sound of the group's booted feet stomping into their half-room. 

For a while only the subtle whirr of the machines, and the scratching of pen on paper could be heard, no moves being made on behalf of either the scientist or the Homunculus agent to initiate a dialogue. Watching this silent waiting game, Ed raised his eyebrows. If he was picking up on this right, it almost seemed like the head scientist was nervous. Given his previous bluster at the inconvenience of losing his agent, the way he seemed to assure the team he had everything under control, this sudden onset of silent anxiety that was oozing off the scientist was unnerving.

“Another day of staring at my ankle, is it Doctor?” The homunculus called out from behind the glass, their voice ringing sharp throughout the room despite the thick thick glass that lay between them.

It was difficult to place gender through the voice, Ed could have sworn the agent was a girl, they reminded him of a more playful Izumi to be honest, but the thick rich undertones confused some of the other agents.

“Actually, Envy, you have an away mission.” The scientist replied, his own voice purposefully monotone. It was clear the scientist did not want to give anything away of his own anxiety here.

“Oh?” There was a rustle of cushions from behind the couch. The ankle disappeared from view, and instead now a hand was grasping the top of the couch, slender fingers elegant, though the way the agent grasped the top of the couch seemed decidedly claw-like. “For how long?”

“There is a primary contract drawn up for a month.”

“A month?” Peeking up from behind the couch, a pair of lustrous purple eyes shaded by a spikey mess of blackish-green hair emerged. Ed’s first instinctual thought was ‘ _pretty’_ while his rational mind chased after with a ‘ _they seem my age, maybe not even nineteen, they seem young’_.

“A probationary month, don’t get too excited.” The scientist chided, still more wary than fond.

The agent behind the couch stood and stretched, pulling their arms up over their head, arching their back like an animal with a soft happy moan.

Now that they were standing the team could see what they looked like. Muscular arms and shoulders, a torso clothed in a black, tight fitting tank top, a moderately flat chest, a toned tummy bared by design, a slitted skirt covering black skin tight shorts, leg and arm warmers wrapping their arms and feet. The agent’s hair was long, spikey, and a headband sat on their forehead, though it did virtually nothing to keep their hair from hanging over their eyes. The entire outfit was black, the only splashes of colour being the rich purple of the agent’s eyes, and a bright red triangle on the agent’s headband. The same bright red was dotted on the agent’s shoulders, barely seen from this angle, and stood out against the stark whiteness of their skin. On the agent’s thigh, in the same bright red, there was an ouroboros tattoo – a brand perhaps. The fact that whoever ran this program deemed it necessary to brand their special operatives was a little disturbing.

Still stretching like a cat, the main thing that stood out about the operative was their happy victorious smile.

Ed still couldn’t put his finger on the agent’s gender, but with the way they were smiling right now, he didn’t think it mattered overmuch.

“So this is my new ‘crew’, huh?” The one the scientist called Envy grinned, finished stretching now, leaning forward casually, elbows draped over the top of the couch.

Roy stepped forward, taking the initiative, “My name is Colonel Roy Mustang, This is Lieutenant Hawkeye, Lieutenant Breda, Lieutenant Havoc, Sargent Fuery, Officer Falman, Alphonse Elric and Edward Elric, a state alchemist.”

“My favourite kind.” Envy interjected, eying Ed and his brother up with another too sharp smile.

“You’re being assigned to lend assistance on a homicide case.” The scientist told them.

“Assisted homicide. I like it.” Envy nodded, very amused by how the scientist’s expression soured.

“You **will** be installed with new apparatus.” The scientist added sternly.

Envy pouted, leaning down on the top of the couch, their shoulder’s a dejected slump.

“I’ll be good. It’s not like you have to.”

“We both know that’s just not true.” The scientist replied curtly, and a flash of something sharp and murderous passed across Envy’s features for a split second, before they schooled their expression back to the exaggerated pout.

“Such trust. I feel the love, I really do.” Envy drawled, giving the scientist a decidedly unimpressed look, before panning that look to encompass the rest of the group, their expression leading Ed to believe Envy found the unit decidedly lacking.

Turning their bored gaze to Roy, who had identified himself as the head of the unit, Envy directed their questions to him.

“Homicide investigations aren’t generally my go-to. I’ve a feeling you’ve been royally screwed over by your superiors.” In a sing-songy tune, they added. “Someone up there doesn’t like you.”

“Envy.” The scientist chided.

“Consider this a briefing. I know I’ll get one later, but you really should know exactly how deep in hot water they’ve left you dangling.”

The scientist turned to nod at the guard sitting by one of the large machines, and the guard began inputting commands.

Roy was surveying Envy with narrowed eyes. “When was your last away mission?”

“About eight years ago.” Envy replied candidly.

“Then how could you possibly know anything about the current situation?”

Envy shrugged. “Some things never change.”

“Eight years ago?” Ed wrinkled his nose, trying to picture it. “What were you, like ten?”

“Hey, pipsqueak. I didn’t ask when they let you out of daycare.” Envy snarked back at the young alchemist, who looked just shy of eighteen. Last Envy was aware of, the military didn’t take alchemists that young.

“Who are you calling a pipsqueak?” Ed ground his teeth.

“Well, everyone else in this room is above five foot. Just saying.”

“Argh!” Ed fumed. “I am above five foot!”

Though Ed had grown somewhat taller through the years, his height was still a subject of ridicule for the team, and especially his brother. Now at the age of nineteen Ed was proud of his 5’6”stature, still not exactly average height, but decent enough for a boy his age.

“Brother, millimetres don’t count.” Alphonse couldn’t help but add on, teasing his brother, much to Ed’s displeasure.

“Don’t you get in on this Al!”

Envy whistled, leaning forward, purple eyes looking Al’s armoured form up and down.

“Well aren’t you interesting? I haven’t seen such fine work since prisoner seventy-“

Envy’s sentence was cut off when a v shaped machine descended from the ceiling behind them with an automated whirr. When Envy caught the movement out the corner of their eye, the homunculus jumped, knocking the couch over on its side.

“Envy.” The scientist’s voice was stern. “Classified information should stay as such. We need to install your apparatus, perhaps then you’ll behave.”

Shooting the scientist a look of pure venom, Envy opened their mouth to argue, but the machine moved closer to them, like a claw machine at the arcade. Each centimetre it came closer, the team could see Envy’s back stiffen with tension.

“Perhaps we should step away for the time being?” Roy suggested to the scientist, carrying no desire to see said apparatus ‘installed’.

“No, you need to know how it functions, Colonel.”

Envy kept their eyes on the machine, not turning their back to it for a second. Backed into the corner closest to the glass by the device, shoulders raised and proverbial hackles bared, Envy’s eyes darted to the viewers behind the glass, looking for help or empathy, or something they could work with. Seeing nothing they could use, barring the uncomfortable expressions on the unit’s faces, Envy blurted out.

“You promised you’d tell me.”

The scientist paused, before inclining his head. “I did. Will you stay still for the installation?”

“Tell me where she is.” Envy asked.

“That’s classified.” The scientist replied.

“Tell me something!” Envy beseeched, the machine coming uncomfortably close to them.

The scientist pursed his lips, before reaching into his pocket.

“If you place your hands against the glass and let the machine do it’s work, I can show you a picture.”

Envy seemed to be struggling, emotions in turmoil across their face. Brow’s furrowed, their indecision on a time limit as the machine came closer, purple eyes looked defensively at the unit, who were simply standing there watching, before flicking a look of longing at the scientist’s pocket.

Turning around, pressing their hands to the glass, Envy smacked the glass with the palm of their hand. The force rattled the glass for a second, considering how thick the glass was, that was a very daunting display. “Show me.”

Behind them the apparatus descended, opening up. Three glass containers full of viscous liquid of differing hues petered down into needles. As the needles descended, they injected into three places on Envy’s back, one in the middle, and two on each shoulder. The red liquid in the middle container bubbled down into Envy continuously, and on each shoulder the clear liquids would flow down into them in short bursts. Envy’s eyes rolled up into their head with the red liquid’s injection, the whites showing for a moment, their back muscles spasming as the injections were administered. Once the red injection was finished, the machine administered the clear liquids. It seemed to be painful and uncomfortable.

Envy’s eyes were now glued to the photograph the scientist had withdrawn from his pocket. A picture of a gorgeous young woman, wavy dark brown hair framing a beautiful, seductive face. She wore a high necked dress and a cloak, and it seemed the photo had been taken candidly from across a rustic, dusty looking marketplace. Her eyes were a deep burgundy, and she wore dark red lipstick. She seemed to be smiling at what a gentleman beside her was saying.

Whoever she was, the sight of her seemed to guide Envy through the pain.

When the machine withdrew, the scientist put the photograph back in his pocket, drawing a small disappointed noise from Envy.

“Turn around, Envy?” The scientist asked.

Seeing the ask for the order it was, Envy sulkily turned around, their back bared to the glass now. The scientist waved the unit forward, stepping close to the glass.

On Envy’s back there were three large, bright red circles, connected by two lines, drawing the shoulder circles to the one in the centre of Envy’s back. Thin circuitry ran along the lines, some sort of machinery wired directly into Envy’s back. On the two circles on Envy’s shoulders, the clear liquids were contained in five small capsules on the left shoulder, grafted into Envy’s skin, and on the right shoulder, seven small capsules. It seems the machine had filled up the capsules with the clear liquid on each shoulder, but the red liquid was injected directly into the middle circle on Envy’s back.

“The safeguards, as you can see, serve different purposes. The seven capsules on the right have a sedative affect, while the five capsules on the left incapacitate completely. Their chemical names are diazapam and sufentinol respectively.”

“Diazapam, isn’t that valium?” Officer Falman queried, curious as to why the slow acting sedative would be effective at all in sedating the Homunculus agent in a moment of crisis.

“Envy has a higher metabolic rate than most, this dose is more than effective on their unique biology.” The scientist explained.

“Isn’t that classified, doc?” Envy looked over their shoulders, rolling them and stretching out their arms now they did not need to stay still for demonstration purposes.

The doctor rolled his eyes, before turning to place a controller in Roy’s hands. “Press blue for the diazapam, and red for the sufentinol. Only in emergencies.”

Envy snorted. “I wonder if this one knows what qualifies as an emergency.”

“Are you questioning my judgement?” Roy narrowed his eyes at Envy.

“The last, I don’t know, three handlers I worked with didn’t know their foot from their forehead, so pardon me if I’m curious whether you jump at shadows, or are made of more discerning material.”

“Use it at your discretion Colonel.” The scientist patted Roy on the shoulder as he went to the desks behind him that were covered in beeping machinery. The scientist didn’t see the veiled expression of disgust Mustang wore, but Envy did, and smiled slightly, before stretching out their arms.

“Would you like to conduct your mission briefing in here Colonel, or take the agent elsewhere?” The scientist enquired, inputting commands into the machine on the table.

Roy levelled a wary look at Envy, stretching their muscles out behind the glass, before disdain for the glass itself crept over his features.

“As you would say yourself doctor, the information we will be discussing is classified. I would prefer to brief the agent back at my office.”

Envy stretched their back out like a cat, and their grin was just as Cheshire.

“Very well Colonel. Should you feel there is a need, you may return the agent to us at any time. We have facilities to hold them, should you deem the agent a flight risk.”

“I will _use my discretion_ doctor.” Roy replied smoothly, nodding his head.

Behind the glass Envy was smiling, and there was something that looked like a sinister victory dancing in those purple eyes.

* * *

 

Returning to Central Investigations was an experience for sure. The scientist’s assurances that the apparatus would ensure Envy’s obedience seemed to directly contrast the Laboratory’s security detail that followed the Unit and their Homunculus Agent back to the cavalcade of cars parked outside. Very muscular, hulking, nervous and armed security guards kept looking at the smirking agent with unease. Envy seemed to delight in how uncomfortable they were making the guards, and walked with a spring in their step.

Clearly the freedom was empowering for the agent, and Roy reassessed just how much of a flight risk he should consider them.

Envy waved and blew kisses to the guards when seated in the back of the car.

The entire journey from the laboratory to the offices was spent in silence, Roy choosing not to initiate contact, watching Envy from the corner of his eye as the agent stared out the window, taking everything in with wide eyes. It was a pleasant night, and Envy seemed content to let the moonlight hit their face, to look at the few people still out, and the buildings that had sprung up or been renovated in the past eight years, keeping their commentary to themselves.

From the moment Envy entered the office their eyes were scouring everything within, taking in the pictures and maps on the walls, the state of the cubicles, any personal effects left by the team at their respective desks. Roy was certain that, regardless of how temperamental the agent had seemed, they were clearly very skilled, and he watched Envy’s eyes take in the chess board on Roy’s desk before looking the Colonel up and down with interest.

“We’ll be briefing you in the conference room. I will have Lieutenant Hawkeye set up the information we have so far now, and perhaps you can help us expand on that.”

Envy nodded, and leaned against the nearest cubicle wall. Roy watched them roll their shoulders again, and narrowed his eyes.

“Is it painful?” He questioned.

Envy shrugged. “A little. I don’t like pain.”

Roy frowned slightly. Envy saw it as an opportunity.

“You could always give me the remote. I could take it off then.”

“Nice try.” Roy shot them down, and Envy could only grin sheepishly, expecting that much.

Riza carried files into the conference room while Roy and Envy talked. The rest of the unit were still making their way to the office, Riza having driven their car back to the office on a quicker route, understanding the unspoken intent for the Colonel to speak with the agent alone.

“I know getting any sort of assurances out of you at this point would be redundant as the investigation proceeds.” Roy began. “However I do feel the need to impress a point upon you now, before things proceed any further.”

Envy stood up a little straighter, managing to look curious, but somehow also bored, like they’ve heard this a million times before.

“While you may be an asset to the government, however reluctantly – and while you may have a considerable investment placed on you by those far higher up the chain than I – should you do anything to endanger anyone within my unit, I will not hesitate to –“

“You don’t need to finish that.” Envy cut Roy off. “I can imagine. I’d die a fiery death at the snap of your fingers right? The array on your gloves tells me as much, not subtle at all by the way. Obsolete enough that no one would question it though, given the creator of that type of alchemy passed away years ago.”

Roy’s eyes widened, and he watched Envy smiling smugly, spreading their hands out.

“Or did you think you were the only one able to decipher it.”

“How did you know?” Roy asked curtly.

“I have an affinity with most types of alchemy. Don’t worry though.” Envy smirked and snapped their fingers, and nothing happened, though Roy’s posture stiffened substantially. “I can’t use any of it.”

Roy’s brow furrowed, and his voice was displeased. “I was told you were some sort of alchemical asset, and you’re telling me you can’t use alchemy at all.”

“Don’t worry, I still have a few tricks up my sleeve.” Envy tugged their fingerless gloves a little further up their arm.

“The Homunculi assigned to Ishval did extraordinary things.” Roy replied cautiously.

“So you know about that, do you?” Envy leaned forward. “I’d love to find out what stories you’ve heard. You were deployed in Ishval too weren’t you, I can see it in your eyes.”

“Too?” Roy questioned.

“Eight years ago?” Envy replied, and could see Roy connecting the dots rapidly. “You think you’re the only one who’s seen things. Who did things there?”

“I heard about Agent Gluttony.” Roy replied.

“Ha!” Envy laughed. “Of course you did. He gave us all quite the reputation. Don’t compare me to him though, we are two entirely different beings, thank god. Eurgh.” The Homunculus agent pulled a face at the comparison. 

“Were you all operating in Ishval then?” Roy continued questioning. Lieutenant Hawkeye was shuffling papers in the conference room, surreptitiously listening in.

Envy smiled. “That’s classified.”

“You don’t seem the type to care who knows information your handlers deem as _classified_.”

“You’ve been asking a lot of questions.” Envy began.

“That’s my prerogative as your commanding officer.” Roy interjected.

“I have a few questions of my own.” Envy continued.

“I’m sure you do.”

“Are you planning to tell the rest of your unit what I tell you or just your Lieutenant there?”

Riza stopped her pretence of tidying, and turned to face Envy, her expression inscrutable. Roy maintained his poker face and pressed on.

“That depends on what you have to say.”

Envy looked behind them, to the door. The rest of the unit hadn’t arrived yet, but it was only a matter of time.

“You might not like what I have to say.”

The sound of the unit’s footfalls and hallway discussion floated in from down the corridor. They would be here any minute.

“So you’ll say nothing?” Roy prompted.

“I wouldn’t say that.” Envy raised their eyebrow. “Should we wait for the rest of them to arrive before I break the classified seal? I’m sure those two brothers would love to hear the exact chances of them getting their bodies back, and how much they’d stand to lose in the process.”

Roy’s poker face cracked and for a moment indescribable rage flitted over his features, before he managed to compose himself enough to pace over to Envy, bringing his gloved hand right in front of Envy’s face, poised to snap.

“I was going to say that should you harm any member of my unit I would have you sent back to that prison of a laboratory for good, but I feel a more severe warning is only fair, should you do anything to either one of those boys that would affect their journey to recover their bodies. A fiery death would be merciful, do you understand me?”

Envy regarded the gloved hand shoved in their face with barely masked excitement. Fluttering their eyelashes at Colonel Mustang, leaning back just enough that they were able to look up into Mustang’s face, amused purple eyes met cold black ones.

“I will be on my _best_ behaviour. I _promise_.” Envy raised two fingers in a mockery of a salute, still looking far too smug for someone just threatened with incineration.

Mustang was scrutinising Envy’s face, looming over them, trying to find something trustworthy, or, failing that, some weakness or fear he could pinpoint to ensure the safety of the Elric brothers. The sound of the unit approaching was louder, they were almost at the door. In the last second, Roy pulled away, retreating a respectable distance from the Homunculus agent, acting as though nothing had ever happened.

“Take a seat in the conference room. We will brief you shortly.”


	3. Chapter 3

_And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.  
2 Corinthians 11:14._

**_Chapter 3_ **

Edward Elric trusted his instinct, because the majority of the time, that instinct was 100% right given his assessment of any one situation. Ed thought someone was an asshole, they were probably an asshole. Ed thought someone deserved a chance, then goddamn they would get that chance given.

It was an odd mixture of pity and dislike that led Ed to consider their new ‘special operative’ Envy, both an asshole, and someone Ed felt should be given a chance.

“Your maps are wrong.”

They were sitting around the table in the conference room, and Envy, even though the agent had only been there for half an hour, was already moving the place markers on the maps around like they owned the place.

“What do you mean the maps are wrong.” Officer Falman frowned, having just set up the markers on the map to indicate the sites of the last three murders in relation to the victims houses.

“Wasn’t there a building here?” Envy pointed to a space on the map three blocks away from General Lieutenant Raven’s house.

“If by building you mean bakery?” Sergent Fuery looked to the Colonel in askance, confused.

“Eight years ago there was a building there I assume.” Mustang looked at Envy, unimpressed. “What’s the significance?”

Envy blinked at Roy, before taking their hands off the map, leaning back in their seat. “Nothing. Nevermind. What about the other victims?”

It was interesting to see the genuine interest Envy took to this investigation, despite how often they pasted a bored expression on, just to be annoying. It was clear that Envy was a curious person, that they were observant, that they were somewhat intelligent, and didn’t need that many details to piece together what was happening.

Ed remembered when the unit had been given this investigation, and the briefing took six hours. It had only been forty five minutes and already Envy seemed to know what was happening, only asking a few questions here and there.

“The victims were all ranking officers? Do you have a list of the other officers at that rank or higher?”

“Everyone all the way up to the Furher himself is on it.” Lieutenant Breda passed the list to Envy, who read it quickly, purple eyes skimming over the document.

“Is there any way to contrive an event of some kind?” Envy looked up from the list, gesturing to it. “Where we could have everyone on this attending?”

“And round them up like fish in a barrel? You know they’d never go for that.” Havoc snorted, leaning back in his chair, arms crossed. “Even if they weren’t all paranoid as all hell right now, getting them all in the same room without a huge power struggle would still be like pulling teeth.”

“The power struggle might help.” Envy smiled, putting the list back on the table. “That’s one way to get everyone looking the other way.”

“You want to make a set up to draw the killer out?” Ed guessed. “Isn’t that a little risky?”

“What’s life without a little risk?” Envy seemed to direct the comment specifically at Ed, tilting their head at him. “You understand right? How else will we get things moving? Isn’t it better to be there before the murder happens than to track the crumbs left after you find the body?” 

“You’re still talking about setting up circumstances in which someone could get murdered.” Al spoke up, his voice echoing from his armour. Though Al was speaking now, Envy still kept their eyes glued to Ed, and Ed was starting to find the attention incredibly unnerving.

“You’re all competent people.” Envy said, like they meant exactly the opposite. “You’d get the chance to observe, and protect, all at once.”

“There are still too many variables, and even if we contrive an event like this, there is a chance our killer will notice how it’s an obvious trap, and won’t attend.” Roy commented.

“Even if they don’t attend, you still stand to gain from this.”

“How so?”

“You can’t investigate a killer without investigating their victims.” Envy shrugged. “If they’re being targeted they probably know something, or did something, that justifies their gory deaths to their killer. Figuring that out gets you an MO, get’s you closer to an ID, get’s your murderer sorted.”

“We’ve already questioned everyone on this list.” Hawkeye said. “If they wouldn’t talk to us then, what makes you think they would talk to us now?”

“They won’t talk to _you_.” Envy pointed at Hawkeye, though they included the entire unit in their dismissive ‘you’. “That’s why you have me.”

Hawkeye raised her eyebrow as she dismissively took in every lanky inch of Envy’s skinny, scantily clad form.

Ed thought she had a point. Envy’s ego was clearly inflated. The agent didn’t come off as a trustworthy confidante now, even if they hadn’t seen the Homunculus’ behaviour in the laboratory, they just came off, in general, as far too smug to maintain any sort of compelling company.

Envy noted everyone judging them, and snorted, rolling their eyes. They then reached for one of the folders on the table, flicking through it until they found a photograph of General Lieutenant Raven’s family, holding it up to show the team.

“He’ll talk to me.” Envy insisted.

The doubtful silence was all the answer needed, and so Envy huffed dramatically before a blinding crackle of red light raced up their body, transforming them flawlessly, fleshing out their thin stomach, curling and tinting their hair, rouging their lips until sitting on the chair in the conference room was by all appearances none other than General Lieutenant Raven’s pregnant wife Marissa.

Envy/Marissa rested her palm on her chin, and smirked, a sweet feminine voice replacing Envy’s lower casual drawl. “He’ll talk to me.”

Everyone in the room was stunned. Havoc’s cigarette dropped from his mouth, Breda and Fuery were leaning back from the desk, their eyes wide, Falman’s shoulders were incredibly stiff, and his own thin eyes were opened as wide as they possibly could be. Lieutenant Hawkeye had her hand on her sidearm reactively, and Colonel Mustang was frowning, his hand clenched into a fist below the table.

Al made a surprised noise beside him, but Ed just stared openly, unabashed. He had never seen alchemy like that before, it was incredible. There didn’t seem to be an array, no clap to signal an active transmutation. Envy just changed, one minute a skinny androgynous youth, the next a plump, cheerful looking woman, nursing a baby belly and a full face of makeup.

The continued shocked silence seemed to unnerve Envy, and the defensive look that crossed Marissa’s face seemed entirely out of place on her cheerful features.

“What, you don’t think I can do it?” Envy frowned, before leaning forward, heaving her breasts against the table, worrying at her lip with her pinky finger, adopting a ditzy tone. “Honey, I don’t feel safe here, what’s going on. Talk to me, please.”

Havoc’s eyes were bulging, looking between Envy/Marissa’s face and her breasts, bamboozled. Mustang however, seemed to have come to a conclusion, standing up bracing both hands on the table. “How long can you hold up this transformation?”

Envy leaned back in their chair, Marissa’s baby belly protruding obviously as Envy stretched her hands over her head. “I can do this all day.”

“What if we required more than one transformation?” Ed asked this time, obviously curious and excited about this new type of alchemy, one that transformed the entire body miraculously.

The red crackle of light started again, and when it had finished it’s journey across Envy’s body, Ed’s doppleganger sat in the seat before him, stretching his arms over his head. “How many do you want, shrimp?”

“Excuse me??” Ed exclaimed, unsure whether the insult was the slight on his height or the deliberately teasing expression brandished across his own features, looking back at him.

“You heard me.” Envy grinned at Ed, and the sheer novelty of seeing the expression looking back at him had a smile starting to creep over Ed’s features too, seeing the possibilities unfold in this new type of alchemy.

“That’s incredible.” He grinned, and watched his doppleganger raise an eyebrow at him, before leaning forward in their chair.

“Indistinguishable, right?” Envy tilted his head, golden eyes looking to the boy in the suit of armour. “Do I look enough like your brother, could it convince you?”

Al paused before pointing. “Your mannerisms give you away. Otherwise, it’s a perfect likeness.”

“Do you have to see the person to copy them? Is it always an exact likeness or can you change it?” Falman asked, curious.

Envy stood, and raised his hand about a foot above his head of golden hair before transforming again, lengthening Ed’s torso and legs, making him taller, as tall as where Envy had placed his hand. “It’s easy.”

Ed wasn’t sure what to think, as he raked his eyes over this taller version of himself. It was like something out of a fantasy, but the real fantasy element was how easy Envy seemed to find bodily transmutation.

“Why do we have to convene an event to get the information from our victims list.” Roy spoke up, interrupting Envy’s fun. “Why can’t you do this and approach them individually to gather information?”

Envy pouted, and shrank back down to Ed’s factual size, before the red lightning crackled over them again, returning them to their skinny skirted self. “I could, but that way is boring.”

“This isn’t supposed to be ‘fun’ it’s a murder investigation.” Roy replied peevishly, obviously not sharing the Homunculus’ enjoyment.

Envy rolled their eyes and sat back down. “Fine, you tell me how you propose to find out who the killer is before they kill again. I thought you were all on a time limit.”

“The time limit is to find out who our murderer is before they murder again, you’re proposing a plan to speed up any potential grisly deaths just to get the ball rolling.” Roy waved his hands as he spoke, his tone of voice was almost joking, though this was no joking matter. Perhaps Envy simply brought that out in the Colonel.

Hawkeye narrowed her eyes at the Colonel. Out of all the people in the office who had an inkling of what brought on this kind of behaviour, she had the most insight. She knew Roy didn’t mind the plan for the event, he actually thought it was quite clever, but he played devils advocate for the sole purpose of figuring out Envy’s character. When Envy simply shrugged, lounging on their chair unaffected by the notion of said grisly deaths, it led her and the Colonel to believe that the term ‘damaged operative’ was more true than they knew.

“Whatever works. If you have any other ideas, I’d love to hear them, but right now it looks like you’ve been getting nowhere.”

Colonel Mustang stared at Envy for a while, his expression very unimpressed, before he began gathering up the papers they were going through and putting them in a pile.

“I will speak with Lieutenant Colonel Hughes and see about arranging an event that would fit the bill. In the meantime.” Roy piled up all the thick manila folders full of information on the table, and slid the mammoth file of paperwork across the tabletop to rest in front of Envy. The homunculus agent had to peer around the side of the paperwork tower to see the Colonel. “You will read through these and familiarise yourself with the case. Dismissed.”

The unit got up and moved away from the table, Colonel Mustang leading the way back into the main office. Envy sat in their chair still in the conference room, scowling at the pile of paperwork, before bringing a folder from the top of the pile down and spreading the contents out across the table.

Mustang, from the door, watched everyone file out, and continued watching when Edward Elric stopped by Envy before leaving.

“If you’ve got any questions or you want someone to go over it with- if you need help, you let me know, yeah?” Ed offered.

“I won’t need help.” Envy replied sharply, before noticing Mustang watching them from the doorway out of the corner of his eye. Just like that Envy’s whole demeanour softened, and the homunculus looked at the paperwork before looking back up at Ed, a small smile playing on their lips. “But thanks.”

Ed’s back was straighter than it was before, and he rubbed the back of his neck, looking down at Envy, before looking up at the ceiling. “You’re welcome, I guess.”

The young alchemist strode away from the Homunculus agent, awkward in his movements, which was something the Colonel hadn’t seen before. He narrowed his eyes at the Homunculus, and Envy, who saw Roy watching, looked up and smiled sweetly, before turning the page and continuing to read.

That’s not good.


	4. Chapter 4

_The Lord God said to the serpent, "Because you have done this, Cursed are you more than all cattle, And more than every beast of the field; On your belly you will go, And dust you will eat All the days of your life.”  
Genesis 3:14._

 

**_Chapter 4_ **

The arrangements were being made for the entirely fabricated Awards Ceremony that was to be attended by the Amestran Military’s higher ups.

Lieutenant Colonel Hughes got the ceremony okayed by Furher Bradley, and barring Hughes, Bradley, and Mustang’s investigative unit - the rest of the military, and all of Central City, were under the impression that the awards ceremony was wholly legitimate. It wasn’t a bad idea. Already those in power, or those joshing for more, were committing to the awards ceremony, discussing who would receive what honours, preparing all the pomp and circumstance they could bring to such an occasion. It would be a lavish and sumptuous evening, held in the Grand Central Ballroom.

It was the event of the season.

It was a complete farce, but it was still the event of the season.

While preparations were being made for the ceremony, Mustang’s unit was making the most of the talk that sprung up about the ceremony to investigate the guest list.

“I heard General Lieutenant Shaw is up for a medal of honour, but General Lieutenant Bibgy is going to challenge that with the Furher.”

“Oh really?” Envy replied, barely masking their boredom. “How is he supposed to manage that. The awards have already been decided haven’t they?”

“Bigby knows someone on the board. He’s planning to steal the award right out from under him.”

Internally Envy was rolling their eyes. There was no board, the whole ceremony was fake, and here these men were, scurrying around trying to grab whatever scraps of fabricated glory they could find. It was very hard to maintain composure, disguised flawlessly as the reporting officer of the blowhard in front of him.

“Good luck with that. Though Bigby may just be lucky, I’ve heard some of the guests won’t be attending. Paranoid. Because of… you know.” Envy hated playing coy with these idiots, but Colonel Mustang and his unit were listening to the conversation, the microphone nestled in Envy’s uniform relaying the entire conversation back to the office.

The idiot in front of Envy puffed out his chest. Kissing his own knuckles, the officer in front of Envy bragged. “A bunch of scaredy-cats. Nothing can keep me away, I’m a state alchemist. I’ll be receiving an award too, no doubt.”

“No doubt.” Envy parroted back, then looked at their watch. “I should be going now. I’ll see you at the ceremony?”

“You’ll see me on the stage, lad.” The State Alchemist clapped Envy on the back, and let Envy be on their way.

As Envy walked down the corridor, they spoke into the microphone.

“Well that was a complete waste of time.”

Back at the office, the unit, who were listening to the discussion, couldn’t help but agree.

It was Roy’s idea to make the most of Envy’s talents, organising covert meetings with the attending guests to work them for information, disguising Envy as confidants of the guests, trying to weasel out morsels of information that could help with the case.

Envy was convinced that whoever the killer was, they wouldn’t be blabbing about their plans, nor would they be one of the fools who rsvped straight away, but it was all they had to go on, and there was still two weeks until the ceremony.

Envy changed again, a haze of red sparks crackling over their body, and they shed the form of the young officer from the Alchemist’s office, now wearing the posture and face of Riza Hawkeye, as Envy closed the space between Central Command and the Investigations department.

The microphone was still on, but Envy didn’t speak, smirking already at the surprise they would treat the office too. Envy technically wasn’t “allowed” to transform into anyone from the unit on Mustang’s orders, but sometimes it was too funny to pass up.

Strolling into the office, barely anyone looked up, nodding at ‘Riza’ as she entered the door.

“Hello boys.” Envy murmured, smiling, their voice low and seductive. Striking a pose against the doorframe, Envy fluttered their eyelashes, and delighted at seeing Lieutenant Havoc spit his drink out.

“The FUCK??”

Envy doubled over, blonde hair falling out of place, cackling, leaning against the doorframe for support as Havoc spluttered, and the unit watched on with shocked and scandalised expressions.

Across the room Edward Elric snorted, amused by Envy’s antics. It was certainly interesting around here since the homunculus agent came. Ed personally thought that the pranks Envy pulled were quite funny, and considering how stifled Envy had been locked up in that laboratory, if pranks like these were the only thing Envy was doing with their new freedom, well, the agent didn’t seem as dangerous as everyone kept insisting.

The real Riza Hawkeye poked her head out from the adjoining office at the commotion, and, upon seeing her apparent doppleganger falling over themselves laughing, she raised an eyebrow.

“Lieutenant Havoc. Jaw off the floor.” Hawkeye said, her tone short and clipped, though a hint of a smile danced in her eyes.

Havoc’s head jerked back and forth looking between the two Hawkeye’s, Envy straightening up and mimicking Hawkeye’s pose, arms crossed, back straight, eyebrow raised.

“You heard me.” Envy said, unable to keep the grin from their features, and so it was very easy to distinguish which Lieutenant Hawkeye was the real one.

“Agent Envy.” Hawkeye crossed her arms and waited, expectant.

Getting the hint, Envy dropped the transformation, and fizzled back into their skinny self again, still laughing at Havoc’s reaction.

“Back to work, please officers.” Hawkeye said, and then adjourned to the office once more, leaving the crew to their busywork.

When everyone returned to their cubicles, Envy leaned against the door a little longer, before making their way through the office, sitting on the edge of one of the tables at the back, next to Ed and his brother, who were writing notes on the alchemy signatures left in the previous crime scene investigation.

“What are you doing?” Envy asked, bored.

“Deciphering residual alchemy at the scene of Harris’s death. Honestly, it’s boring the shit out of me.” Ed complained, running his hand through his hair.

“Sounds pretty useless.” Envy commented, now sitting cross legged on the table’s surface.

“Do you ever use a chair like a normal person?” Ed teased the homunculus.

Envy snatched one of the papers Ed was working on, and read through it, making no move to get off the table.

“How are you supposed to get anything out of deconstructing soil residue? Does that take you to any real lead, or is it just something to fill the space?”

Ed glowered at the door to the Colonel’s office. “Fucked if I know. Colonel Idiot won’t let me do any field work while this investigation is still underway.”

“He’s wasting your time, sounds like.” Envy commented, putting the paper on the table and sneaking one of the pens away from Ed, scribbling an adjustment on the paper.

“Mmmhmm.” Ed replied, shrugging when his brother gave him a look for speaking about the Colonel so poorly.

“What would you be doing, if you could be doing anything else right now?” Envy asked, crossing out huge sections of Ed’s shorthand notes.

Ed didn’t seem cross about Envy’s edits. At first he was, he had yelled for ten minutes straight at Envy for graffitiing his work. When he got the papers back however, he was impressed that not only could Envy decipher the shorthand he and Al had perfected for their alchemical notes, they had also made amendments to the formulas that revolutionised the transmutations Ed was researching, improving and simplifying them dramatically.

Ed knew he wasn’t allowed to ask Envy about their body transmutation alchemy, his mistake was made when he first asked Envy about it in the same room as the Colonel. He had tried to get answers out of Envy, but every question was met with “It’s classified” and Ed didn’t miss the way Envy’s eyes would linger on the Colonel before answering.

If only Ed could get them alone.

Envy was so very forthcoming about nearly everything, but the fact that the thing Ed really wanted to know was somehow off limits was infuriating. He knew the reason it was off limits too, even though Envy wouldn’t say.

The Colonel had forbidden it.

Which just added to Ed’s general ire directed at the Colonel these days. He had thought the Colonel was on side with him and Al regarding the journey they took to retrieve their bodies. He had thought that the Colonel was supportive of it, since in the past he had bent rules and arranged missions coincidentally so that he and Al could further their research and follow the clues.

Now there was a glaring clue, sitting right in front of him, and suddenly Ed wasn’t allowed to get answers.

It was driving Ed crazy.

It was a small consolation however that Envy seemed to want to help him. The little breadcrumbs Envy would leave when they thought Mustang wasn’t watching were encouraging. Ed began to think that maybe he and Al would have a chance here at learning something practical, something ground-breaking.

Something apparently classified.

Envy snatched another paper out of the pile beside Ed and began scribbling on it, and Ed reached across the table to grab the first piece of paper Envy had discarded, pouring over what Envy had written on it.

Little amendments, Envy had crossed out the irrelevancies in Ed’s notes, not really caring much for context. They had written a formula for an array that Ed had never seen before, something to do with triangulating dirt back to its origin, which would be especially helpful for future investigations work. It was a type of alchemy that moved past deconstruction and reconstruction, a type of alchemy that Ed hadn’t found in any books he’s encountered in his copious readings in the past.

Mostly the notes Envy left were just more efficient ways to achieve mundane results. Perhaps Envy knew that Colonel Mustang would demand to read over the notes before Ed left the office. Ed really wanted to open up a more secure way of communicating with the homunculus agent, but he was finding it hard to go about it.

For whatever reason, Al took the Colonel’s side mostly when it came to getting information from the homunculus. Alphonse was cautious where Ed was headstrong, measured where Ed would otherwise improvise, and throw caution into the wind. He was grateful for his brother, who always seemed to balance him so well, but Ed just couldn’t understand the caution with which Al treated the homunculus.

Ed assumed he must have talked to Colonel Mustang. It rankled, the thought that perhaps the Colonel had enlisted his brother’s help in watching Ed’s interactions with the homunculus agent. Knowing his brother, he probably had a good reason for it, but even so, Ed was impatient.

“I would be…” Ed mused aloud, pulling one of the maps on the table over towards him. Jabbing at a spot on the map, he continued. “Here.”

Envy peered over at the map. “Yes, but what would you be doing?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Ed smirked, enjoying their dialogue.

“Yes, I would. That’s why I asked, runt.”

Ed’s eyebrow twitched and he struggled to maintain his smirk.

That was another thing Envy was good at, besides correcting his alchemy notes. Envy was excellent at pushing Ed’s buttons. Mostly over petty things, they hadn’t really been allowed to spend too much time with Ed to get to know him enough to let his barbs hit deeper.

“You are lucky your notes are halfway useful, or else I’d have to kick you all the way across Central for calling me a runt again.”

“So that’s what you’d rather be doing. Boring.” Envy rested their chin on their palm. “Aren’t you supposed to be some kind of prodigy?”

“He is.” Al replied, defensive of his brother.

“And you’re a prodigy too.” Envy nodded at Al. “Stuck in a roomful of prodigies, and you’re not allowed to do any of the legwork on this case. Doesn’t that bother you?”

Al leaned back in his chair, his armour creaking, and he tilted his head.

“It bothers you.”

Envy huffed, their lower lip sticking out in an odd sort of pout, before they turned their attention back to Ed. It bothered Envy how Al didn’t react, how calm he was when confronted with Envy’s poking. Ed’s reactions were much more satisfying. Envy liked when people would emote, or get irritated. Al seemed to enjoy denying Envy that pleasure.

“What’s so special about here?” Envy focused on the point on the map that Ed pointed to. The ballroom that was being prepared for the awards ceremony.

“If you wanted to do legwork for a case, why wouldn’t you go to the next likely location for the murder?” Ed shrugged. “Not like there’s anything else to do waiting around here. Unless you want to chat up another old bastard?”

Envy wrinkled their nose, and sat up straighter.

“I’ll pass.”

Ed looked around the office. It was somewhat crowded, the unit were all working on their own projects within their cubicles. Mustang was still in his office with Hawkeye, and the door was closed, which gave Ed an idea.

Shuffling his papers together into a pile, Ed stood up to go, papers in one arm, and his red coat in another. His brother followed him, and the unit waved goodbye to the brothers as they left.

From the table Envy watched him leave, somewhat disappointed that their conversation was being cut short.

Ed walked over to his pigeonhole on the wall and put his notes in there, before he looked back at the table, and gestured Envy to follow.

Envy’s eyes shot open, wide, and curious. Slinking down into the chair, and then slinking down beneath the table, so far no one had seen anything. Al was already out in the corridor waiting for his brother. Ed was watching Envy, but that was about it, everyone else seemed too distracted.

Seeing the red sparks vaguely colour the light under the table, Ed was amused, curious what Envy would disguise themselves as to sneak out.

When Ed didn’t see anybody leave from under the table, he frowned, certain that Envy would have jumped at the opportunity to go out unsupervised, donning a different persona to leave undetected.

It was only when Ed felt the fabric of his trousers shift, that he looked down.

It was a miracle he didn’t shout out.

Curled around Ed’s automail leg was a dark green snake, slitted eyes purple, staring up at him intently.

Ed somehow managed to resist the urge to kick the snake right off him then and there, his brain catching up with his body, realising that he had seen those purple eyes before.

“Fuck.” Ed muttered, just under his breath.

Snakes weren’t the most expressive creature, but Ed could have sworn this little bastard was laughing at him.

Walking with mechanical movements, Ed marched out of the room, putting one leg in front of the other, while internally his brain was screaming.

_A SNAKE. ENVY WAS A PERSON AND NOW THEY’RE A SNAKE. A FUCKING SNAKE!!!!_

This wasn’t any sort of transmutational alchemy Ed has ever seen before or even heard of. Transmuting what was human into what is animal was forbidden on principle, and unless Envy was some kind of illegal chimera, something very wrong and _very_ classified was happening right now.

And if that thought didn’t make Ed walk a little faster, nothing would.

When snake-Envy slithered up Ed’s leg, coiling around his torso, neatly hidden under the black jacket Ed wore, shivers wracked Ed’s spine at the ticklish movement, and he let out a brief hysterical laugh.

“Brother?” Al paused ahead of him, turning back to look at his brother’s strange expression.

“It’s nothing.” He assured, lying to his brother. “I’m just glad to be out of there.”

“Your face is red. Are you sure you’re okay?” Al questioned, worried for his sibling.

“I’m fine.” Ed croaked out, as he felt Envy squeeze around his chest. “Actually, I don’t know. I feel kind of weird.”

“Do you want to go home?” Al offered.

“I’ll meet you there.” Ed decided, squeezing his right arm against his side in warning, until Envy coiled looser, giving Ed room to breathe. “I want to walk this off for a bit.”

“Are you sure?” Al paced back to his brother. “I can walk with you if you want?”

Ed wasn’t sure what to tell his brother. _Hey Al there’s a shapeshifting snake in my jacket, is that fucked up or what?_

 “No, it’s okay. I need to think.” Ed waved his hand vaguely. “An idea for the case cropped up, I want to work on it for a bit. I won’t be very good company, not while this shit’s running through my head.”

Al paused, considering his brother, before nodding. “Well, ok. If you’re sure. I’ll meet you back at the house then. Don’t stay out too late.”

“I won’t.” Ed replied, gritting out a reassuring smile, before turning to walk out into the street, hyper aware that there was _a fucking shapeshifting snake_ stowing away on his body.

When he had got a good distance away, around the block to the public park in downtown Central, Ed finally stopped behind a tree and wrangled the snake away from him with his automail arm.

Envy tenaciously squeezed Ed tighter, and hissed, before allowing the boy to tug them off him, holding Envy in the air in front of him.

“What the hell was that?” Ed hissed at the snake, as though expecting an answer.

“Improvisation.” The snake answered in Envy’s human voice, and Ed just about fell over.

“What the fuck???”


	5. Chapter 5

_Thou shalt not bow down thyself unto them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me.  
Deuteronomy 5:9._

 

**_Chapter 5_ **

Hiding in the bushes in the public park in downtown Central wasn’t how Ed expected to learn classified information, but then life isn’t always as genre savvy as your imagination.

“Okay, so you’re not gonna explain to me how you went from snake, to _this_ , even though it should be _impossible_!!!”

Ed pinched the bridge of his nose, nursing an Envy-oriented headache, and Envy smiled.

“I like being called impossible. It’s my favourite adjective.”

“How do you even accommodate for the mass? The transmutation. You went from one set of DNA to an entirely different one! With what, no array, no sigil or signal or anything!”

“Would it help you if I did one of your gaudy claps, just to keep up appearances. Honestly, you’ve finally got me alone, and you’re asking all the wrong questions. Stupid.” Envy scoffed, crossing their legs. They were sitting in between a row of hedges, so they were camouflaged from passers-by.

“I’m not stupid. I just need a minute to process you being a literal fucking snake in the grass.” Ed hissed, now massaging his temples.

“You can comprehend me changing into any human you all deem fit, but you can’t stretch to the possibility that I’m not limited by your boorish imaginations? How dull. I thought you were the smart one.” Envy fiddled with a twig nonchalantly.

Ed glared at Envy, then assessed the shapeshifter more keenly. “Why me? You’ve been going out of your way to help me, to show me things that no other alchemist knows, and nobody trusts you. So you must want something from me.”

Envy no longer looked bored. Instead they looked impressed.

“I can always trust an alchemist to fall back on the law of equivalent exchange. Out of all the officers in that unit, you and your brother are the ones who stand the most to gain, who can make the most use out of what I know. You _need_ me. You specifically, since for some reason your brother doesn’t like me.”

“Yeah, I wonder why.” Ed scoffed. “So this whole time you were just playing me, leaving breadcrumbs, dropping hints, all to set up some big trade? What do you want, help escaping?”

“Do I look like I need help escaping?” Envy scowled. “Where are we right now? What can I do? Do you honestly think I couldn’t do this without you? Slip away unnoticed?”

“Why would you stay?” Ed frowned. “You honestly seem to hate being here, being assigned to this case. You’re bored as fuck every meeting. That laboratory was fucking terrifying, so I can understand anything being preferable to that, but I seriously don’t get why you’re still here.”

Envy pursed their lips, debating how to answer. “You’re asking the wrong questions again. I thought you had something you needed to know?”

“Yeah, I want to know your price.” Ed jabbed a finger in Envy’s direction. “If no one else trusts you further than they can throw you, like hell am I going to run blindly into this exchange without finding out what you want in return.”

“I want my family back!” Envy blurted out, their answer causing Ed to blink at them. Stunned by the vulnerability and candidness of their request.

“What?”

“You saw the picture back at the lab.” Envy’s words were sharp, and there was an undercurrent of rage bubbling below. “Snapshots dangled as incentives for good behaviour. Acting like they can control me by taking them away from me. We used to be inseparable! We could take on the world together. And they ripped us apart. Locked us away, in cages! Made us tools or weapons to be used like some damn shovel to clean up your messes.”

“The woman in the photo, she was your family?” Ed queried, concern laced through his voice.

“There is nothing you wouldn’t do for your brother.” Envy levelled an intense look at Ed, fire still dancing in their eyes. “I can see it in your missing limbs and in his hollow body. I saw it the moment you came into the lab. I thought, if anyone would understand, it would be you.”

Ed’s eyes widened as Envy admitted they knew exactly what Ed had done. What heinous crime they had committed against nature, against God, when they tried to bring their mother back. And what it had cost them. The fact that from just a look, Envy knew this, horrified Ed. His secrets laid bare. But given how quickly Envy knew, it was clear to Ed then that Envy knew more.

An alchemist who could spot what he had done in an instant would have some sort of insight into how to undo what was done, surely.

“So what is she, your mother?” Ed hazarded a guess.

“My sister, basically.” Envy replied. “I am one of seven siblings. They keep four of us as ‘Agents’ in that laboratory. ‘The Homunculus Project’. What a joke. Acting like it was their idea. They didn’t make us, we were here first.”

“Make you? What do you mean, you were here first?”

“How old do you think I am? Honestly, don’t lie. I don’t need the flattery.” Envy laughed.

Ed’s reply was cautious, his mind racing ahead of his mouth. “You look young, but you can look however you want.”

“I’m old enough to look at you and see a pipsqueak, and call it like it is.” Envy joked, laughing just to see Ed’s shoulders twitch.

“When I’m not busy being horrified, I’m gonna kick you up and down this park.” Ed warned, pointing at Envy, who only laughed, mirthful, at Ed’s response.

“They know I’m more than they can handle. That’s why they take so many precautions. That’s why your boss, the Colonel, won’t have me alone with you. He thinks you’re too trusting. That I’ll lie to you, or lead you astray and get you killed.”

“If you’re banking on me being too trusting, then why are you telling me all of this?” Ed pressed, confused by the mixed signals Envy was giving. Only now did Ed truly believe that the agent was actually dangerous, he spent all this time thinking Envy wasn’t such a big deal. Only now did Ed get that prickling feeling up the back of his neck, knowing that, no, the Colonel wasn’t being too cautious. Ed really had no idea what Envy was.

“What do I have to gain by lying to you?” Envy laughed again. “They assigned me to your investigation because they needed more than just a pretty face. When I see what we’re up against you’ll all learn why they call in Homunculi when shit hits the fan. You’ll all see what I can do. I’ve never had a case where it hasn’t come to that.”

“What else can you do?” Ed asked, looking at Envy with new eyes. “More than just a snake, right? You can be anything.”

“I am more than just a snake.” Envy smiled, sweetly. “But for now I think I prefer that you see me like this. Not one thing, or the other. Just me, how I like to be.”

Ed looked Envy’s skinny form up and down. “This is how you like to be. I never asked, I suppose it’s redundant now. You’re not a boy, or a girl, you’re a shapeshifting whatever.”

“Eloquent.” Envy raised their eyebrow. “But you’re not wrong.”

“Is Envy even your real name?” Ed squinted, half joking.

Envy nearly fell into the bush beside them, laughing. “Ha ha ha, oh, hah that’s one thing they got right. Ha ha. Oh, I haven’t laughed like that in ages.”

“It seems like you’re laughing at us all the time.” Ed raised his own eyebrow, watching the homunculus wipe the corner of their eye, mouth stretched into a wide grin.

“That’s because you’re funny. Your lot always are, but you especially. You’re really hilarious.”

Ed rubbed the back of his neck, and rolled his eyes. “Yeah that’s me, a real comedian. If you like your comedy tragic.”

“See, that. That resilience.” Envy pointed out, resting one hand on their knee. “That ability to shake it all off, to make something of it, even if it’s a joke, and move forward. I actually really admire that. Of all the stupid things you people do, that’s one thing I actually don’t mind.”

“You say that like you’re constantly bothered by everything else.” Ed peered at Envy.

Envy shrugged. “You try being captive in a laboratory for hundreds of years, see if you ‘find the joy’ in everything.”

“Hundreds of years????” Ed exclaimed. “What the fuck, I thought you’d be like, fifty or something.”

“I told you not to flatter me.” Envy murmured, grinning cheekily. “I don’t need the flattery, but I do rather like it.”

“Holy fuck. Hundreds of years. I’d ask how many, but I don’t really wanna know.”

“You really don’t.” Envy went back to playing with the twig they found in the bushes, dragging it through the grass idly.

Ed paused for a moment, watching Envy, frowning, as the reality of it all set in. To Ed Envy just looked like some odd androgynous teenager, sitting cross legged in the dirt, their long hair falling over their face. Sure the purple eyes and the red lines embellished with circuitry in Envy’s back were hardly ordinary, but all that aside, Ed thought he knew what Envy was. A vivacious, intelligent, stifled person trapped by their circumstance. While those things may be true, one thing clearly wasn’t.

“You’re not human, are you?”

Envy looked up at Ed, and their eyes seemed disappointed for a moment, before they shrugged.

“Being human is overrated.” Envy may have said that, played it off like it was some sort of casual statement, but they couldn’t entirely hide the undercurrent of sadness in their tone.

“You want to be, though.” Ed guessed, probing bluntly. “I can tell.”

“Humans did this to me.” Envy snarled then, gesturing to their back. “Humans took everything from me. Why would I want to be like them?”

“Okay, okay.” Ed brought his hands up, placatingly. “But then why would you want to help one, if humans are so bad.”

Envy met Ed’s stare stubbornly for a while, then huffed out a breath, and looked to the ground, picking at the grass now. “You don’t know what it was like. Back then, when we were all together, we had purpose. We had direction. We could have easily left humanity behind, just lived amongst ourselves forever. Let humanity rot.”

That was a concerning statement. Ed had to steel himself to remember that he was talking to someone who had been severely mistreated, not that that excused leaving humanity to rot.

Envy plucked more grass from the ground, a little more viciously this time.

“The man with the golden hair, he killed our father. We had no hope on our own. No direction. We had no purpose anymore. Humans claimed us, and turned us into weapons. Our father had helped the man with the golden hair once, a kind deed, a favour repayed. He tracked our father down and destroyed him. We had nothing left.”

Envy had ripped nearly all of the grass out in one patch now, and was moving onto the next patch, less vicious and more despondent now.

“As much as I want to hate humans, even if I do get my family back together, we would still live among them. We don’t have a place to stay away from you all, like we did when our Father was alive. We are not like you, but we have to blend in if we ever want to live peacefully again. As much as I’d love to just stay clear of you all, it’s been so long since I lived that way, and while the majority of you are unbearable –“ Envy looked up at Ed for a moment, before looking back down to the pile of uprooted grass beside them. “Some of you aren’t entirely awful.”

Ed almost felt touched. He had intended to get answers from the homunculus, and somehow ended up listening to their whole life story. Answers were definitely forthcoming. Just not the immediate answers Ed was looking for. But somehow he didn’t mind this.

Getting to learn a little more about Envy, who was more than just a strange mysterious font of knowledge, but actually a whole other creature. It was more than he signed up for. Letting the Agent in, opening up communication with them, and finding out _this_. Oddly enough, it made Ed trust Envy more.

“Your sister? What’s her name?” Ed asked softly.

“Lust.” Envy replied solemnly.

“You all have weird fucking names. No offence.” Ed scratched the back of his neck, jostling his braid.

“Like ‘Edward’ or ‘Alphonse’ are any better.” Envy jibed.

“You know, I never thought I’d end up sitting in a bush with some inhuman homunculus, agreeing to help get their family back.” Ed continued, looking grumpy about it.

Envy however, lit up with enthusiasm and excitement upon hearing this. “Agreeing? So you’ll help me!”

“I’m not signing up to anything just yet.” Ed waved his hands in the air. “I know there’s probably a fuckton more that you’re not telling me. I don’t trust you just yet.”

Envy didn’t care. Already they were practically bouncing on the spot unable to contain themselves. “You’ll get more than your fair share from this, I promise. I haven’t forgot about our exchange.”

“Don’t remind me. I just decided, I don’t wanna know.” Ed put his hand in Envy’s face, shielding himself from the sheer joy that was etching the homunculus’ grin wider.

“Here I thought you were so curious.” Envy grabbed Ed’s hand and peered around it.

“For whatever reason, you’ve just proved your point that you’re here to stay on this case, since you don’t seem to be leaving anytime soon. I don’t know what you’re waiting for personally, and I don’t know how you seem to think I can help you look for your sister wherever when we’re stuck in Central investigating here.”

“I know what I’m waiting for.” Envy replied smugly, releasing Ed’s hand as he drew it back. “I’m pretty sure I’ll see it soon too.”

“So you’re conducting your own investigation, we’re conducting the Colonel’s investigation.” Ed ticked off on his fingers.

“The Colonel is probably investigating me.” Envy added gleefully. “Though he’s never asked me anything. It’s not like I don’t know he’s doing it.”

“You are ridiculously forthcoming.” Ed pointed out. “Seriously, I think you just like to talk. How much of that was classified? All of it?”

“Maybe all of it.” Envy conceded. “Most people assume I’m lying.”

“Should you have told me that?” Ed had to ask.

“Probably not.” Envy shrugged.

“Will you get in trouble for it?” Ed didn’t know why he kept asking.

Envy gave Ed an amused look. “Are you going to tell on me?”

Ed wrinkled his brow at Envy, watching the twinkle in Envy’s eyes and knowing that he was being played.

“Because I’m pretty sure you were being followed here.” Envy continued, and raised on their knees a little to peer over the top of the hedge. Ed double-took, and peered over the hedge himself, and lo and behold, Major General Armstrong and Lieutenant Havoc were canvassing the park, looking for them.

“What the fuck???  How long have you known?” Ed squawked.

“Relax.” Envy waved their hand lazily. “They haven’t seen us yet. Give it a few minutes.”

“A few minutes???” Ed fumed, throwing the torn grass that Envy uprooted at the homunculus childishly. “This is your fault!!! Now I’m gonna get in trouble.”

“Relax.” Envy said again, unfazed, shaking grass out of their hair. “You don’t tell on me and I don’t get in trouble, and I don’t tell on you and you won’t get in trouble.”

Ed glared at Envy. “It’s that simple, huh?”

“Yep.” Envy stretched their arms over their head, and their hand poked over the edge of the hedge, visible to the search party. Ed almost thought Envy was doing it on purpose, and so he snatched the homunculus’ hand back down, gripping their wrist.

“And what exactly am I supposed to tell everyone when they ask what the hell possessed me to let a dangerous agent out for a walk in the park? They’re gonna ask me what we were talking about. What am I supposed to tell the Colonel?”

Envy looked over their shoulder, hearing the heavy step of military boots coming towards them across the grass. Leaning forward to whisper in Ed’s ear, Envy smiled as they spoke.

“If Mustang asks, tell him that I led you on a merry chase and left you only one clue on how to recover your bodies.”

“Clue?? What clue?” Ed pressed, golden eyes looking at the suddenly very close purple ones.

“That Philosophers stones can be made.” Envy whispered. “And I know how.”

Ed’s world seemed to shatter in that moment then, looking at Envy half horrified, half awestruck, entirely shocked and disturbed by this information, yet perversely eager at the same time.

He didn’t let go of Envy’s wrist yet, hardly willing to let go of the first tangible lead he had found in years of searching for ways to get his brothers body back go so soon after discovering it. Ed wanted to know. He wanted to know now. He wanted to press for information. To find out what Envy knew. To find out if Envy was lying, because through this whole conversation Ed wasn’t entirely sure. But if Envy _wasn’t_ lying, this could be incredible. This was big. This was earth shattering. This was …

The large gloved fist of Major General Armstrong reached into the bushes and pulled Envy up, gripping their upper arm, and shaking them like a ragdoll.

“There you are. Lieutenant Havoc, I found the wee little thing.”

“You’re talking about him right?” Envy deadpanned.

“Hey!” Ed squawked.

When Armstrong grabbed Envy, Ed let go of their wrist, but he didn’t feel like letting go. A part of Ed now also didn’t like seeing the way Envy was being tugged around, though Envy didn’t seem to mind.

Havoc ran over to them, panting, the cigarette almost falling out of his mouth. He stopped when he saw them both, perfectly alright, and he bent over, putting his hand to his chest.

“You two really gave everyone a run for their money there. There’s a reason we’re keeping tabs on this one.” Havoc said to Ed, chastising him. “What the hell makes you think you can just take it out for walkies?”

“Walkies?” Envy sneered, unimpressed with Havoc’s language choices.

“It wasn’t my fault!” Ed protested, then pointed at Envy dramatically. “This one snuck up on me!”

“You were the one who did - this thing!!!” Envy scowled, mimicking Ed’s come hither gesture.

“Don’t put me in this!” Ed shot back, tilting his chin up haughtily. “This is your fault.”

“For what???” Envy seemed genuinely startled that they were being blamed, but then they caught the look in Ed’s eye that seemed to hint he was doing this for a reason, and Envy frowned at Ed, mouthing _‘what?’_ at him.

Major General Armstrong seemed to be looking between the two despairingly, frowning at their little childish interaction.

“I believe it’s best to continue this conversation back at the office.” He commented diplomatically. “It is reasonably late, and your brother is worried for you Edward.”

Ed pulled a face feeling a flickering of guilt, and then stood, brushing torn grass off his trousers and readying to go. Major General Armstrong led the way back to the car that was parked nearby, and he didn’t let go of Envy’s arm for a second.

It wasn’t a long drive back to the office. It just felt that way.


	6. Chapter 6

_Do not lie to one another, since you laid aside the old self with its evil practices.  
Colossians 3:9_

 

 

**_Chapter 6_ **

“What did they tell you?”

Roy Mustang _was_ the sort of man to stoop to using the interrogation rooms to quiz his subordinates about a walk to the park.

However, he was not the sort of man to deprive his subordinates of dinner at dinner time, and so Ed sat in the interrogation room with a takeaway box of Xingese noodles, shovelling the food into his mouth. His brother Al stood in the corner, and handcuffed to a chair in the opposite corner of the interrogation room was Envy, who once again looked bored.

With a mouthful of food, Ed gestured to Envy with his fork. “You don’t want to ask them? They’re right there but.”

Envy waved in a mock friendly manner, rattling the handcuff’s metal against the chair deliberately. Roy pinched the bridge of his nose and nursed one hell of a headache.

“You can’t just take a dangerous, restricted access agent wherever you feel like, whenever you feel like it. And you absolutely don’t contrive circumstances where you can be alone with the agent without supervision and clearance. I thought I made that clear in the initial briefing. You signed a contract Edward. Everyone signed a contract.”

“Is that the ‘you can kill me and not be responsible’ contract? Or the ‘I can kill you and not be responsible’ contract?” Envy interjected obnoxiously, raising their hand as though asking a question in school, but using the motion to make the handcuffs more obvious. “Because I only like one of those. Also can you take these off already? This is stupid.”

“You are a flight risk, as of this afternoon. So no, the handcuffs are staying on.” Roy shot Envy a terse look, annoyed by their interruption.

“I could take them off though.” Envy replied, shrugging their shoulders. “They are literally redundant handcuffs.”

“Agent Envy, will you please just sit still and be quiet, for five minutes?” Roy gestured sharply at Envy with his hand, obviously low on patience.

Envy pulled a face, wrinkling their nose, before huffing, and crossing their legs, fiddling with the chain of the handcuffs idly.

“Now. Edward.” Roy turned back to Ed, who looked vaguely amused at how quickly Envy could try the Colonel’s patience. “Explain to me exactly why you thought it was necessary to take Agent Envy, who has restricted clearance to the city, as in they are not allowed to roam free outside of military operations _at all_ , to central park for a chit chat?”

Ed chewed on his noodles, and tapped his chin with the clean end of his fork. “Gee, I dunno Colonel. You tell me.”

“If you are meaning to collude with the Agent, you are making a grave mistake, Edward. I am trying to help you. To look out for your best interests. Now, I can’t do that if you insist on bypassing clearance protocols to proverbially play with fire.”

“You’d know all about that wouldn’t you?” Ed snorted dismissively, before turning back to wind more noodles around his fork.

“I don’t know what stories the Agent has been telling you to barter for your loyalty here, but you seem to be missing a few substantial facts.” Roy sat down on the chair opposite Ed, gesturing with his hands. “Mainly, that you’re dealing with a compulsive liar and sociopath.”   

Ed gave Envy an uneasy side glance. Envy didn’t seem perturbed by the accusation, and continued to look remarkably bored by the whole situation.

“Whose entire family have practically been held hostage by the homunculus program, is what I’ve heard. Or is that a lie too?” Ed asked flatly.

Roy raised his eyebrows and looked to Envy in askance.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Are the five minutes up already?” Envy asked facetiously. “I wasn’t counting.”

“It’s the first I’ve heard of it.” Roy replied to Ed’s question sedately. “However, if indeed it is true, it bears looking into.”

“Hah.” Envy laughed. “Like that’ll do a damn thing. I’d love to see you take on your own military for the sake of what amounts to a condemned weapon, it’ll be hilarious. A tragi-comedy in two parts.”

Envy rolled their shoulders, sucking in a strained breath, but attempted to maintain their jovial expression. The shoulder rolling was what Ed has come to realise as a compulsive movement, like a twitch, that seemed to happen whenever Envy discussed their status as a weapon. Ed couldn’t help but think to the apparatus on Envy’s back, the painful looking circuitry embedded in their skin. Weapon indeed. Certainly weaponised.

“Besides, aren’t I supposed to be a compulsive liar? Why would you believe me, if I told you?”

“You haven’t told me much at all.” Roy pursed his lips, considering. “And what you have told me seemed to solely serve the purpose of infuriating me, which I assume you are like to all of your commanding officers.”

Envy shrugged. “Most of them deserved it, to be fair.”

“Does it amuse you to aggravate the people holding the button that could end you?” Roy frowned, reaching into his pocket and withdrawing the remote the scientist had given him.

Leaning forward on the chair, gripping the arms of the chair tightly, Envy smiled wide, a deranged look in their eye. “Yes.”

Roy looked disturbed for a moment, before nodding, and putting the remote back in his pocket. “Noted.”

“That’s a bit fucked up. You have to admit.” Ed commented, still eating his noodles.

“What’s that metal man?” Envy shot back at Ed.

“Fuck you.” Ed snarled back.

Envy leaned back in their chair, and looked at their nails. “I was talking to your brother actually.”

“Leave Al out of this.” Ed slammed his palm on the interrogation table, defensive of his brother.

“Is it true though?” Al questioned, finally piping up from the corner. “The woman in the picture is your family?”

Ed didn’t get time to have a private word to Alphonse about all of this, so Al must have surmised it on his own. Envy seemed soured by the prospect of two people knowing about his sister now.

“She’s my sister, yes.” Envy admitted. “But I highly doubt your little military is going to be much help finding her, since they are the ones using her in the first place.”

“Using her. Like they’re using you?” Roy questioned, aware that he was one of the people ‘using’ Envy too. “What can she do? Is she like you?”

“She’s nothing like me.” Envy replied immediately. “I told you before. You can’t compare us.”

“She’s a Homunculus Agent too then?” Roy pressed. “What’s her codename?”

“Her _name.”_ Envy stressed. “Is Lust. And it’s not a codename, stupid.”

“So your name _is_ actually Envy?” Ed gawped. “Who names their kid Envy? What, did your father hate you or something?”

Envy recoiled in the chair, shoulders tensing up, suddenly cross and withdrawn. With gritted teeth they replied. “My name was chosen for a reason.”

“And that is?” Roy asked, but on this subject at least Envy remained tight lipped, scowling at everyone, curling their legs up onto the chair like a very irritated pretzel.

Taking Envy’s sudden reluctance to share in stride, Roy continued down a different track. “So am I to take it that for the entire hour and a half you two were gone, you talked about familial relations?”

“Ask him.” Envy nodded towards Ed, putting the pressure on the young alchemist to divulge, also testing him, to see if Ed would say what Envy told him to say.

Ed seemed sour about being the centre of attention, and stabbed the chicken in his noodles viciously with his fork. “This isn’t fair, being put on the spot like this.”

“What isn’t fair about it?” Roy questioned. “You’re reporting to your superior. That’s practically in your job description.”

“What isn’t fair is that I’m pretty sure whatever stupid game you two are playing has fuck all to do with me, and you’ve stuck me in the middle of it.” Ed replied, unimpressed.

Envy seemed surprised by Ed’s answer, then began chuckling, tossing their head back with laughter, nearly falling out of the chair but for the handcuffs.

“Agent Envy may be manipulating you, but I am not.” Roy assured Ed, while Envy just laughed harder. “I would find it wise to share what they said to you, so we may ascertain what needs legitimate looking into.”

“You don’t wanna have this conversation without chuckles in the room?” Ed asked dryly.

“Until Agent Envy is no longer a flight risk, I have to maintain constant supervision.” Roy looked exhausted when he said this. “News of Envy’s disappearance spread to the Homunculus control staff at the third laboratory. My options were either to immediately turn Agent Envy back in to the laboratory until the Awards Ceremony, or to keep them supervised, and here we are.”

Envy stopped laughing and seemed to be staring at Mustang with new eyes, shocked that the Colonel took the more difficult option, when all of their commanding officers in the past felt it better to avoid the hassle and sunder Envy back to the staff at the laboratory after working hours ended.

Envy continued to stare, flabbergasted, at Roy while the Colonel continued speaking. “So it would be better if we were all on the same page here, and shared information liberally, instead of sectioning it off.”

Ed seemed swayed by Mustang’s words and nodded, but before he could speak, Envy interrupted, words blurting out loudly.

“You’re stupid! Every other commanding officer sent me back. That’s a stupid idea, why would you?” Envy’s words were chastising, but the homunculus looked desperate, confused and upset and hopeful all at once, baiting Mustang, almost expecting the Colonel to change his mind and send Envy back.

Roy turned to look at Envy calmly. “Do you want to go back?” He asked.

“No!” Envy shook their head, responding immediately.

“Then what’s the issue?” Roy continued, his voice still calm and quiet.

Envy frowned at Mustang for a while, confused, squinting as they regarded Roy, as though looking for some hint in Roy’s expression that he was lying to save face in front of Ed. Seeing no change in Roy’s calm expression, Envy opened their mouth, as if to bring up another objection, before closing it, and leaning back in the seat.

Red light danced around Envy’s hands for a moment, as they transformed, making their hands small enough to slip through the handcuffs, before bringing them back to their usual size, and wrapping them around Envy’s arms, defensively holding themselves, like a hug.

Roy raised an eyebrow at Envy slipping out of the cuffs, but didn’t say anything, letting the homunculus comfort themselves, curling in on the chair.

Al looked between Envy and the Colonel, approving of Mustang’s decision here.

Ed seemed to realise that the Colonel wasn’t going to punish or harm Envy for talking to Ed, and seeing that no matter what Ed said here, his words wouldn’t bring consequences to the homunculus, he put his fork down, and pushed his meal away.

“Okay. I’ll tell you everything.”

And Ed did exactly that, only leaving out the part at the end.

The one part Envy had insisted Ed tell Mustang.

The part about making Philosopher’s Stones.


	7. Chapter 7

_A good name is to be more desired than great wealth, Favor is better than silver and gold.  
Proverbs 22:1_

 

**_Chapter 7_ **

The Grand Central Ballroom had far too many people in it to be considered a secure area for a feasible stakeout to be conducted.

Everyone, the guest list, the presenters, the service staff, the press, the plus ones. Everyone needed to be checked out meticulously in advance, and they were. The difficult thing about clearing the assorted guests was one had to rule out the guest in question for motive to murder a high ranking military officer, and considering the majority of the guests were military men who would kill to advance their career in that exact way, it was an unappealing process.

But it was the day of the Awards Ceremony, and the busywork had been done, at least narrowing the potential suspects down to one list so Mustang’s unit could at least have an eye on everyone who raised suspicion.   

There was a string quartet already playing smooth classical chamber music while the guests strolled in, being cleared at the door by Sergeant Fuery, acting as part of the welcoming crew for the event. It was about an hour into the evening and guests were still arriving, those already in the Ballroom decked out in their decorated formal wear, sipping champagne and sampling appetisers, rubbing elbows and posturing gently.

Roy’s team had been briefed and briefed again dozens of times in the leadup to the event, and everyone was where they were supposed to be, including Ed, who was acting as both distraction and supervision, making use of his celebrity status as youngest state alchemist ever (which was still a useful title to hold even several years down the track) to slip into conversations with higher ranking military men, and occasionally joining Colonel Mustang and Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes as part of the backup team flanking their covert operative, Envy, who was disguised as a pretty blonde Amestran woman, supposedly Mustang’s plus one.

Envy seemed to be enjoying the mission so far, just for the opportunity to act ditzy as Mustang’s plus one, subtly digging at the Colonel’s choice in women the entire evening. However this meant that Colonel Mustang was less likely to come to Envy’s aid when the older ranking military men decided they wished to schmooze with the pretty young blonde.

A portly older gentleman, a retired state alchemist, with a monocle and blonde frizzy moustache, commandeered a serving tray of canapes and was trying to tempt Envy, aka Felicia, to try one.

“Just one bite darling. It’s a little scrumptious morsel, you’d love it!”

“Oh, no. I simply couldn’t.” Envy smiled, scrunching their nose as they spoke, obviously straining themselves to remain pleasant. “I’m watching my figure.”

“Nonsense child!” The gentleman laughed, and elbowed Envy conspiratorially. “You’re practically a waif! Mustang hasn’t been taking you out to nearly enough fancy dinners. All wine and no dine, am I right?”

The retired alchemist tried elbowing Mustang now, who pasted on his own pleasant face, laughing just as vapidly as they expected him to. “She certainly has a preference for the whining part of the evening.”

Envy maintained their pleasant expression, but Mustang could see the barest tic in Envy’s eyebrow. “Honestly, he’s been treating me horribly, really. The wine doesn’t even make _any_ fine vintage, if you must know. Though it’s as good as expected on a Colonel’s salary.”

“You’ve got yourself a little gold-digger here I see, Colonel.” The alchemist chuckled, before picking one of the canapes from the tray and popping it into his own mouth. Oblivious to the little digs Envy and Mustang were making at each other over his head. “Mmmmm! I must send my compliments to the Chef.”

“It’s a lavish affair isn’t it?” Mustang commented. “It’s a shame General Lieutenant Raven isn’t here yet. I’ve heard he’s getting a distinctive award, man of the evening.”

“The true man of the evening is whoever made these delightful canapes.” The alchemist put his hand on Envy’s elbow, beseeching them. “Just one bite. You would have died and gone to heaven my dear. I insist.”

“Oh, I shouldn’t.” Envy replied, laughing nervously, but due to context unable to turn the older man down as abruptly as they would usually like to.

“I insist. Put some meat on your bones.” The gentleman said, and held the canape up to Envy’s lips. Envy looked truly panicked for a second before resuming the character expected of them, batting their eyelashes and opening their mouth up for the little pastry. The gentleman popped the pastry in Envy’s mouth and Envy chewed, trying to look polite.

“Major, I do believe you are being waved at. The young admiral in the corner.” Mustang commented, pointing to a gaggle of decorated men in formal wear. The state alchemist seemed to perk up, and nodded.

“Right you are Mustang, right you are. I am in terribly high demand tonight aren’t I? You look after this darling little snapdragon, my boy. Enchante my darling.” The alchemist kissed Envy on the hand before bobbing off into the crowd.

Envy smiled sweetly after the gentleman, waving, before snagging a napkin off a passing waitress, and spitting the half chewed canape into it.  

“Blurgh.”

“Not to your taste, I take it?” Mustang enquired slyly.

“You’re all disgusting, the things you put in your bodies.” Envy surreptitiously continued to spit food into the napkin, wiping their tongue of every last trace of it.

“Homunculi don’t eat then?” Roy had been fishing for more information ever since that day in the interrogation room.

Envy was still reluctant to trust Roy, as he was still Envy’s commanding officer, but since it became apparent that Mustang was not as bad as Envy had previously thought, Envy dropped little hints here and there.

The homunculi was hardly as forthcoming with the Colonel as they were with Edward Elric though. Envy didn’t know why they found it so much easier to trust the blonde boy. One day Envy knew they would have to lie outright to the young alchemist, but they hadn’t so far. Despite everything, Envy wasn’t sure Edward would be able to face the truth. Though judging from his missing appendages Envy assumed he already had once and lived to tell the tale.

Folding the napkin up and putting it in a nearby potplant, Envy looked at Roy, considering, before smiling wickedly. “Gluttony eats.”

“But I shouldn’t compare you?” Roy inclined his head, remembering Envy’s prior words.

“Nobody eats quite like Gluttony does.” Envy grinned, sharing a moment of candour with the Colonel, before resuming the ditzy blonde persona required as yet another General approached the two to make small talk.

So continued the pattern for the evening for quite some time, greeting different personnel, making small talk, waiting for the signal.  Roy had runners, informants, approach him throughout the evening, providing updates on the situation disguised as well wishers. Only a small percentage of the runners knew Envy was the special agent, the majority of those who approached the two seemed to assume Envy was merely one of Roy’s associates from Madame Christmas’ bar.

The cover of being ‘Mustang’s date for the evening’ was a tried and true cover, it enabled Envy to go about unseen almost, no one batting an eye at yet another pretty young thing being seen on the Colonel’s arm. It suited Envy, let them listen in, let them gather estimation of character of whoever approached them, or who they approached. It was like reconnaissance all over again, though it was easier surprisingly to get details from military officials disguised as a pretty young blonde armed with champagne rather than as an equal within the military.

General Lieutenant Raven still hadn’t arrived, even though the Furher and his family were already in attendance, not yet commanding presence to begin the ceremony, still milling about.

Ed and his brother Alphonse cycled around back to the Colonel, already over brushing elbows with the top brass.

For the past fifteen minutes Ed had been trying to leave a very excitable young boy, who wanted to be regaled with stories of what being the youngest state alchemist was like. Ed would have been able to duck away sooner, but for the fact that the young boy was the Furher’s son, Selim. Furher Bradley stood close to them, his hand on his son’s shoulder, proudly encouraging his son to talk to his hero. Every time Ed tried to wave off Selim and leave the conversation, the Furher would glare at Ed and Al from his one good eye, freezing them both to the spot. Sweating, Ed and Al finally left the conversation when the Furher decided it was over, meaning they stayed for as long as Selim wanted them there. Furher Bradley was a terrifying man, made even more terrifying by his fierce love for his son.

When they finally broke away, they circled a bit, before making their way back to the Colonel through the crowd. Alphonse seemed to have the same problem Envy had with wait staff offering him hors d'oeuvre’s every few minutes. Thankfully Al could pass them off to his brother, who was enjoying receiving twice the snacks to nibble on.

As the brothers sauntered around to meet up with the Colonel, Ed was holding about five small pastries in his hands, popping them into his mouth one after the other.

“So Raven’s a no show?” Ed asked, his cheeks full of food.

Envy wrinkled their nose at Ed’s messy eating, while the Colonel replied.

“We have confirmation he’s on the move. Our intel within his security detail tells us he’s running late, but he will be here.”

“Running late? Why?” Ed swallowed his mouthful of food and wiped the flakes of pastry away from his mouth with the back of his sleeve. “Isn’t he man of the moment or whatever bullshit they came up with?”

“Man of the evening.”

Another runner approached Colonel Mustang, to deliver information, and he turned around to quietly speak with them.

“So how’s your evening going?” Ed asked Envy, picking the olives off his third hors d'oeuvre. “Any greasy old men hit on you yet?”

“How can you eat that?” Envy was still pursing their lips at the aperitifs Ed was scarfing down. “And yes, they have, that’s kind of the point.”

“Yeah, I can tell.” Ed smirked. “You’ve got this look in your eye, Felicia.”

“What look?” Envy squinted at Ed, always defensive when their disguises were questioned.

“Like you’re two seconds away from stabbing the next poor sap who smacks your ass. It’s called resting bitch face, somehow I’m not surprised you’ve got it going on.”

Envy looked almost affronted for a second, just a second, before a laugh bubbled out. “I like that name. How have I never heard that before? It’s perfect.”

“You’ve been living under a rock for eight years. I get it.” Ed chuckled and finished the last little pastry, wiping his hands, and chewing. “Find out anything interesting?”

“Plenty Colonel wise-guy can use.” Envy rolled their eyes. “Nothing pointing us to our killer though. Just a load of small talk and posturing and disgusting canapes.”

“They actually look quite appetising.” Al commented, having been drooling over fancy foods he cannot eat all evening.

“You can have them.” Envy shifted, crossing their arms.

Roy turned back around, resuming his place in the conversation seamlessly, the informant jogging off. “Felicia’s dietary requirements make the evening difficult for her. I’m thinking perhaps she should be going home soon to rest.”

Envy turned to Mustang, raising their eyebrows incredulously, before catching on. “Oh. Now that you mention it, I am feeling a little ill. Must be something I _ate_. Is Marissa attending with the Lieutenant General?”

“There’s been a change of plans.” Roy said smoothly, putting his hand on the small of Envy’s back and leading them, Ed and Alphonse following them, to the small alcove to the side of the ballroom to give them some privacy. “Marissa’s contractions have started. The doctors say she’s likely to continue with the contractions for another twelve hours before going into labour. Enough time for Raven to attend the ceremony and accept his award and make it back home in time to greet the newest bouncing baby into the world.”

“He’s leaving his wife’s labour to accept an award?” Alphonse questioned disapprovingly.

“He sounds like a real family man.” Ed commented sarcastically.

“What it means is our window of opportunity has greatly diminished. Convincing Raven to stick around long enough to get him alone will be difficult. He will likely want to be there and gone as soon as the award is in his hand.” Mustang explained.

“Well then this whole thing was a huge waste of time then.” Envy surmised. “I can’t work the ‘moment alone with the misses’ angle because she’s off spawning some infant, and he’s not going to stick around long enough to be bait anyway. So this huge expensive debacle amounts to nothing. Fantastic.”

“I wouldn’t quit so soon if I were you.” Mustang had an ace up his sleeve. “I got the girls to do some digging.”

He was referring to the girls who worked for Madame Christmas, informants and spies who seduced the information needed from their clients at the bar come brothel that Madame Christmas ran. Roy had grown up there, though that wasn’t information that many people had access to. He could rely on the girls at the bar to assist him with information though, and often their searching was fruitful.

Mustang removed a photograph from his pocket, and showed it to Envy, who took the photograph from Mustang and studied it closely. It was a picture of a freckled ginger woman with full pouty lips and fuller breasts. The photograph seemed to be taken mid-coitus and the ginger woman was straddling Lieutenant General Raven’s lap as he grinned giddily up at her.

“Ugh.” Envy leaned back from the photograph, wrinkling their nose. “You could have picked a better photo.”

Ed leaned up to peer at the photograph, and had a mixed reaction, not really knowing what expression to pull, finding it difficult to look away from the busty woman in the photograph. He hadn’t really been exposed to many naked women before, and he’d certainly never seen a candid photograph of ‘it’. It was entirely pornographic.

Envy passed the photo to Ed to look at, since it was obvious he was interested, and grinned, elbowing the young alchemist, but the photograph was snatched away by Mustang.

“Hey!”

“You’re too young to look at that.” Mustang commented, and tucked the picture back in his pocket.

Envy snickered quietly, looking pleased to have got Ed in trouble. Ed elbowed Envy back when he noticed this, his face flushing pink. Envy just laughed harder to themselves, enjoying the young alchemist’s reactions.

“If you’re quite finished.” Mustang cleared his throat, trying to resume control over the situation. “We have a new angle.”

“The redhead?” Envy inclined their head, and already red light began flaring up their wrists. Roy had to quickly turn to stand in front of Envy, shielding their transformation from the rest of the party.

“You don’t want to do that covertly, perhaps?” Roy gritted out, now looking down at the busty redheaded woman, who was wearing a form fitting green dress with a plunging neckline, crossing her arms.

“No one’s looking.” Envy shrugged, now transformed completely, right down to the freckles dusting her chest. “Do we have a name?”

Roy frowned. “No name. Just the photo. She’s not one of the usual girls. He’s patronaged most of the girls at the bar, has a thing for redheads. Jenny says he’s a sucker for a pretty face. This woman, we don’t know much of. She seems to work freelance. We’re not entirely sure how she knows Raven, just that she’s sleeping with him.”

“Sleeping with a married man.” Envy didn’t seem disturbed by this, mostly just amused. “Oh his face is going to be delightful, seeing her on the evening of accepting his award, right when his wife is at home about to give birth. This is going to be brilliant. We’re going to have no trouble getting him alone. Fifty cens he drags me off first.”

“Just make sure he drags you off to the right room.” Mustang sighed, by now used to the way Envy takes a certain delighted glee at squeezing dramatic reactions from the people around them. “We’ll be waiting in the anti-chamber out of sight. This bait can only work if we’re there for the takedown.”

The microphone sounded out, a voice announcing the start of the ceremony. People were settling down into chairs. Lieutenant General Raven must have arrived.

“Wait out of sight until after the awards ceremony.” Mustang told Envy. “He only needs to glimpse you for a second to make this work. He’s going to assume blackmail, and we’re going to let him.”

“I like this plan.” Envy grinned.

“Of course you do.” Ed remarked, starting to get a feel for the homunculus now.

“Then let’s begin.”


	8. Chapter 8

_You felt secure in your wickedness and said, ‘No one sees me,’ Your wisdom and your knowledge, they have deluded you; For you have said in your heart, 'I am, and there is no one besides me.’  
Isaiah 47:10_

 

**_Chapter 8_ **

Award in one hand, holding the upper arm of his mistress in the other, Lieutenant General Raven did exactly what everyone expected.

Dragging the redheaded woman into the antechamber, flinging her ahead of him and slamming the door, Raven looked panicked and vicious, like a wild animal.

“Aren’t you happy to see me?” Envy asked, their voice a low purr.

“I told you to stay away from me Vanessa.” Raven scowled. “You shouldn’t be here.”

Envy quirked an eyebrow. Vanessa was her name. And blackmail it was. Bingo.

“But it’s your big night.”

Raven paced for a moment, rubbing his temples, throwing his arms around, frustrated, before he crossed the room, backing Envy into the door.

Envy could see from the corner of their eye the panel in the wall. The hidden door. There was a mesh screen there, and the best men in Mustang’s unit, Mustang and the Elric’s included, were hiding there, watching the sting go down.

It was with that security in mind that Envy let Raven crowd her, back her up until she felt the doorknob press against her hip.

Envy expected Raven to lash out, to get violent. She was prepared for this. Taking a few hits was practically part of the job description. Envy hated pain, but this wouldn’t be so bad. Envy had dealt with casual violence before. This bit was easy.

What Envy wasn’t prepared for was Raven to bring his hands down on Envy, only rub his hands gently along Envy’s exposed shoulders, his expression tender.

“It’s not safe for you to be around me.”

The shock must have shown on Envy’s face. In honesty she was flabbergasted. She thought that this would be a simple blackmail scenario. Show up on his important day, threaten to drag his name through the mud, play him like a clarinet. Envy didn’t know how to deal with a man who obviously cared about this woman. How does one feign tenderness in return? Why were human emotions like love so foreign and strange?

“Uh-“

Raven caressed Envy’s cheek like he was touching something precious. He was rubbing his thumb in soothing circles on Envy’s shoulder, and looking at the woman in front of him like she invented the sun. Envy tried not to squint back at him, instinctively suspicious.

“I can’t afford to lose you.”

Envy struggled, trying to figure out what to say next, how to play this. The context had Envy speechless, left her just staring into Raven’s eyes, gawping at him. Okay, so Raven had a thing for his mistress, what about plan A? What about his pregnant wife?

“But Marissa –“

“I know. I know.” Raven nodded, running his hands covetously over Envy’s shoulders now, smoothing a lock of tumbling red hair behind Envy’s ear. “You’re right. I should have told her. But not now. She’s giving birth tonight, of all nights. I keep promising to tell her, but you don’t know how difficult this is, my little primrose.”

Internally Envy made a face at the gauche nickname. Externally Envy’s eyebrows knitted together like a concerned lover.

“It’s one of the most important nights of my career. I had to come.”

“So did I.” Envy said, trying to justify whatever this was. How did one justify this? Sticking to half-truths works better.

“It’s too dangerous.” Raven frowned. “You know it’s not safe. There’s something after me.”

The lights in the ceiling flickered, just momentarily, and at first, Envy thought it nothing out of the ordinary. Then it happened again, and Envy felt the hairs on their arms raise. The lights flickered again once more, before going still, an electrical hum sounding quietly.

Even though the lights were on, the room felt a little dimmer now, and it didn’t feel good. At the flicker, Raven looked up to the ceiling, clearly panicked, before he let out a deep breath.

“No, no. It’s alright. I’m not alone. It only attacks when it’s victims are alone. I’ve read the reports.”

Raven turned back to Envy, his eyes drinking in the redheaded woman before him, roaming her figure, lingering on her breasts in the dress she wore.

“I’m here with you now.”

While his eyes were glued to her chest, he missed the expression on Envy’s face. The widened eyes, the burgeoning realisation and the horror.

There was a shadow creeping up the wall behind Lieutenant General Raven, it moved like liquid first on the ground, then rising slowly, sinuously, like it had all the time in the world.

The shape it rose into did not resemble a man. It resembled a knife at first, pointing jagged, and sharp. It then seemed to split in the middle, rows of teeth protruding, like a mouth opening, savage.

Envy had seen this shape before.

“I’m not alone. I’m with you.” Raven said, finally dragging his eyes back up to Envy’s face, only then registering the horrified expression looking over his shoulder.

“ **You’re alone together**.” A voice sounded, smooth and sibilant from the shadows. It sounded like many voices, and one voice at the same time. It sounded cold, clinical. Also somehow amused.

General Raven turned around, shielding Envy with his body instinctively, before he lurched back a step, seeing the fanged horror on the other side of the room from him, acknowledging the monstrosity of it.

“Oh god!” Raven shuddered, before he pulled his pistol from his holster, levelling it at the monster. “No, you can’t be here. It doesn’t happen like this. You have a pattern.”

“ **I think I can break the pattern to be rid of you**.” The voice replied. “ **And no one will care about a missing dead whore**.”

Raven began firing his pistol. Round after round shot into the shadow, and each time the shadow split, diminished, and then reformed, growing larger, more rows of teeth forming in each hole left by the bullet’s blast.

Envy was looking at the secret door now, hoping that they were watching, gesturing with their hand. They made a gun shape with their fingers, and mimed shooting the lights in the room, keeping their hand at their side, trying not to attract attention.

Raven’s gun clicked. He was out of ammunition.

The monster loomed over Raven now, each of the sharp teethed mouths in the shadowy mass were grinning. At the top of the towering mass of shadow, a single eye blinked open, and stared down at the quivering Lieutenant General.

“No, please.” Raven was begging now. “Please don’t. I have a family – please.”

“ **So do I**.” The shadow replied, before long spears of darkness rushed from the creature’s body, surging forward sharply. “ **Goodbye Lieutenant General Raven**.”

A gunshot rang out from the side of the room, it seemed Lieutenant Havoc and crew had stepped out of the door now, pistols trained on the monster, but it was too late.

_Schick._

Black tendrils of shadow formed sharp points, skewering through Lieutenant General Raven, through his legs, through his wrists, through his stomach, through his throat, running right through to embed themselves in the wooden door behind him.

This meant they also ran right through Envy, stabbing the disguised agent, pinning them to the door.

A trickle of blood ran down Envy’s nose. There was a shadow spear running through Envy’s forehead, coming all the way out to the other side. It was the spear that ran through Raven’s neck.

Envy’s eyes were wide, and their expression was still terrified, frozen on their bloodied face. They felt dizzy, shocked, the blood was pounding in their ears. They heard what sounded like a ‘no’ through the fog, which was strange. It hurt. There was pain, and Envy hated pain. It wasn’t the casual violence that Envy was prepared for, this felt familiar, this pain. The pain of being torn apart, ripped right through. Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion suddenly.

The spears retracted, swift, sucked back into the shadowy form, which seemed to pause now, the one eye at the head of the creature swivelling to look at the military unit at the hidden door, now revealed.

As the spears were removed, General Lieutenant Raven’s body slumped to the floor like a ragdoll, landing first on his knees, then face first down, with a thud on the ground.

Envy slumped down behind him, their back sliding down the door, leaving a blood smear on the wood. Puncture wounds ran bloody, dotting Envy’s forehead, stomach, and thigh. The red blood looked stark on the pale freckled skin of their disguise, and the orange hair began to darken at the roots, blood seeping out already. There was a gaping hole in Envy’s stomach where the larger spear ran into them, and the hole went all the way through. It moved when Envy breathed, harsh panting, and blood squirted out from ruptured veins.

Envy felt someone touching their shoulder, crouched down next to them, and the feeling of the soft gloved hand against Envy’s skin jolted them out of their haze, enough to look up.

Yellow hair, and red fabric. Someone Envy knew. Calling their name.

Envy coughed, and blood flecks came out. “The lights.”

The monster was still standing tall in the middle of the room, watching with one eye, but turned when it heard Envy speak. Suddenly eyes blinked open all over its body, each one turning to watch the dying woman crackle with red lightning.

“Shoot the lights.” Envy continued, their throat raspy, blood pooling in their lungs, even as the red lightning haloed their forehead, brain matter visibly knitting back together, veins and muscle weaving together, skin pulling over bloody wounds. Healing was also painful. “Shoot them.”

“ **I know you**.” The monster said again with its many voices, watching Envy’s wounds knit together with eager fascination. Envy forced themselves to resume the shape of the ginger woman, even while their skin was knitting back together. It was painful. God it was painful.

“Shoot the lights!” Envy screeched, already struggling to stand, to get up, trying to leave.

Finally the unit listened, and gunshots went off, not aiming for the monster, instead hitting each light globe in the antechamber. As the lights went out one by one, the shadow’s size diminished, growing thinner and thinner. The eyes however remained just as numerous, now crowding the shadows smaller body, watching Envy hungrily.

Ed was there, helping Envy to their feet, the only person in the room who seemed to understand Envy’s haste to leave, and assist that.

“ **I know you**.” The shadow said, its words a sibilant hiss as it’s size diminished. It’s eyes were blinking closed now, shadow barely there as the last light slowly died, fizzling away into nothing.

The room was dark.

The monster was gone.

Ed could feel Envy trembling violently, holding the homunculus up with an arm under Envy’s armpit. Envy seemed to be holding the doorknob, hand clawed over the fixture, their shakes rattling the knob.

There were sounds. Boots stepping out from behind the secret panel, guns being cocked, armour clanking, Lieutenant Havoc swearing.

“Is it gone?”

“What the hell was that?”

“Not here. The lights are off.” Envy muttered in between rapidly quickening breaths. “Can’t get here with no lights.”

Ed seemed to realise that they weren’t leaving the room just yet, and prised Envy’s hand off the doorknob, supporting their weight fully now. He walked them both over to the couch over by the wall, hands out in front of him, feeling his way until he felt the upholstery. Envy was still shaking, almost hyperventilating now, and let Ed manoeuvre them onto the couch, sitting them down.

Mustang’s voice sounded out in the room. “That was our killer. What exactly are we dealing with here?” The sound of boots paced closer to the couch. “For that matter, what just happened.”

Envy sucked in a breath, trying to settle, to stop this reactive panic. To shake it off.

Dying. Dead. Killed. Envy had died again. Don’t think about the last times. Don’t think about being killed. Bleeding. Pain.

Ed’s hand was still on Envy’s shoulder, holding them steady. He could still feel Envy shaking.

“Maybe give a minute, Colonel.”

Envy sucked in a few more breaths, trying to control their breathing into something more manageable now. The red lightning had stopped crackling, finally in the dark Envy felt safe enough to resume their usual shape. Their body was healed. Envy patted themselves down, feeling their forehead, their chest, their knee, and feeling only sticky smooth skin. No gaping holes. They had healed, completely, but they still felt the phantom pricking of pain wracking through their body. Even though it didn’t hurt anymore, Envy still felt it. It brought back memories. Envy couldn’t handle pain very well.

“I’m okay.” Envy finally said to themselves, breathing slowing enough to resemble some sort of calm again. “I’m okay.”

“Yeah, how are you okay?” Havoc’s voice spoke now. “Because I saw that thing go right through you. There was a hole through your goddamn head. It went out the other side. I nearly lost my dinner just watching.”

Envy glared at the direction of Havoc’s voice, though he couldn’t see the glare so it wasn’t very effective. It made Envy feel better though.

“Perhaps we should be focusing on the assailant, and not our Agent.” Roy commented, seeking to put the unit back on track.

Havoc’s voice sounded out again, incredulous. “You knew? No offence Colonel, it’s just you don’t sound surprised at all that we just watched our Agent effectively _die_ and come back again!”  

“I never left.” Envy replied, all the venom they could possibly muster in their voice, though it still came out raspy. Envy coughed a couple of times, trying to clear the blood from their throat.

“Sure, okay, immortal secret agent. You’re just gonna throw that one at me.” Havoc grumbled.

“If we could focus on the _assailant_ , please.” Roy said louder this time, trying to keep the unit on target. “Is it coming back?”

“Not with the lights off.” Envy coughed a little more, finally clearing their throat. “We could be followed through the ballroom, but I doubt drawing more attention now is what they want.”

“They know you. What is it?” Roy pressed.

Envy paused, before answering, aware that there were members of the unit who didn’t know about what Envy really was. “It was a … rogue homunculus.”

“Another agent?” Fuery asked.

“Sort of.” Envy replied, not really sure how they should read this situation, unable to see any expressions in the dark.

Ed’s hand was still on Envy’s shoulder. The warmth of the gloved hand felt odd, it was a comfort Envy wasn’t familiar with. It was possibly the only thing grounding them to the room now, the panic of almost dying still lingering in the back of their head.

“Is Lieutenant General Raven dead?” Fuery asked.

“He isn’t coming back from that.” Lieutenant Hawkeye replied solemnly.

“This one did!” Havoc gestured towards the sound of Envy’s voice, nearly hitting Lieutenant Breda with his arm.

“We should take this conversation elsewhere. This is a crime scene now.” Roy stated. “Someone needs to inform Raven’s family.”

Envy said nothing. Inside they felt like screaming ‘get me out of here’, the panic was still prevalent in their thoughts. Their hand was still pressed over their abdomen, fingers sticky with blood, but thankfully touching only skin. Memories threatened to overwhelm Envy, it was a herculean effort to stay focused in the now when flashbacks were crawling through their skin, the pain of almost dying reminding them of far too many horrible moments.

The hand on their shoulder was like a lifeline. Envy focused on how the fabric of the glove felt, on the individual fibres woven together, soft like cotton. Envy was trying so hard to think about anything but the pain of dying. Anything but.

When they left the room, Mustang lead the team through, directing each of them to attend to different facets of investigating the homicide officially, giving every unit member a job.

Mustang showed compassion to Envy, by assigning to Ed and Al the job of supervising the agent, taking them back to the office in a chauffeured car. Since it was just the Elric brothers, Envy knew that it’d be safe. Envy had gripped onto Ed’s gloved hand like a lifeline all through the car trip back, only letting go once they stopped shaking.

Once they were back at the offices, Envy took the cushions from the couch and walked them into the interrogation room, closing the door behind them and turning off the lights.

Since it was Ed and Alphonse, the brothers let Envy go, to barricade themselves in what little sanctuary the interrogation room provided. Whether it was sanctuary from the phantom of the shadowy monster they encountered, or the sanctuary of an empty soundproof room where Envy could fall apart privately if they wished, it was sanctuary offered all the same.

Ed and Al sat in the office common room, guarding the door to the interrogation room. Ed took off his gloves, white fabric stained with red, and threw them in the bin. He waited for Envy until morning, when they finally emerged from the room.

In the daylight, things were better.

It was easier to talk about these things in the daylight.


	9. Chapter 9

_Do not trust in oppression And do not vainly hope in robbery; If riches increase, do not set your heart upon them.  
Psalm 62:10_

 

**_Chapter 9_ **

Sitting on the tabletop, surrounded by the manila folders and paperwork from the case, Envy felt in their element again. There’s nothing more disorienting than regenerating a third of your brain matter, and once the emotional hangover from last night wore off, Envy tore through the case files left in the office, with the assistance of Ed and Al, trying to prepare their next move for when the Colonel came to see them that next morning.

Ed proved his worth, continuing to hold the title of ‘least abhorrent human’ by Envy’s estimation, by treating Envy no different when they chose to come out of the interrogation room. Ed also didn’t mention once the evening’s frenzied bout of handholding, which both he and the homunculus seemed to be ignoring for the time being. That’s part of what Envy liked about Ed, how he ignored the right things, and focused on the important things, like maps, and equations.  

By the time Roy Mustang did enter the office, exhausted from the night prior, having delivered the news of Raven’s death to Marissa personally, he did not expect to see the paper covered disaster that his office had turned into.

“Why are all your maps wrong? This isn’t supposed to be there.”

“Those are current maps Envy. That _is_ supposed to be there.”

“Your maps are stupid. Where did I put that pin?”

“Brother, can you move your elbow? I need to see that report.”

“Can’t we get more current intelligence here? What kind of organisation is this? I feel like the hired help.”

“You are the hired help Agent Envy.” Mustang quipped, still exhausted, but a little more alert now, striding through the office, Lieutenant Hawkeye behind him, surveying the mess of papers on his desk. “Get off my desk now. It’s too early in the morning for this.”

Envy didn’t move, still sitting cross legged on the Colonel’s desk. Ed at least had the presence of mind to hop out of the colonel’s plush desk chair, stepping away from the desk like a scolded child.

Grabbing a handful of papers and waving them emphatically, Envy gestured, speaking very fast. “Does your unit have clearance to travel, and if so how far? If you don’t have clearance, how can you circumvent that, and travel anyway?”

“You’re still on my desk.” Roy monotoned.

“We are dealing with a homunculus here. One of the rogue homunculus!” Envy was still incised, excitement making them loud. “There are four of us in this hellhole that passes for a project, that means there are three, _three,_ homunculi out there, unaccounted for, and I personally cannot believe that your military doesn’t have at least some intelligence of where they might be. We’re going to find them.”

Roy pushed the papers that Envy was waving in his face aside with a sigh, and, realising he wasn’t getting his desk back, he turned and walked straight over to the coffee machine in the corner, grabbing a cup and turning on the percolator.

Envy waved their arms at the retreating Colonel Mustang, imploring Ed with their eyes to do something. Ed flapped his hand back at Envy, urging Envy to still their attempts to rouse the Colonel before caffeination. Envy looked confused, and wriggled off the desk, and Alphonse watched their shared silent conversation in amusement.

Slinking behind the Colonel to peer around him at the coffee machine, Envy leaned forward and sniffed the pot.

“What’s so important about this stuff?”

Roy, his patience so thin right now, gently pushed Envy’s face away from the coffee machine with a single finger pressed to their forehead.

“Back.” Roy’s eyebrow twitched. “I need at least two of these before I can begin to consider contemplating exactly what you’re asking of me.”

“I haven’t asked anything yet.” Envy replied, pouting.

“Technically you asked two questions.” Alphonse piped up, and took Envy’s corresponding glare with good humour.

“Lieutenant Hawkeye.” Roy mumbled, inhaling the coffee aroma like it was his dying breath. “Contact Intel, the Laboratory, and Lieutenant Colonel Hughes please. Have the whereabouts of the other three enlisted homunculi confirmed and find any and all information available regarding suspicious activity that correlates with our agent’s nature, or ouroboros tattoos, brought to this office.”

“Yes sir.” Riza saluted, and left to set the wheels in motion.

Roy poured his mug of coffee slowly. Envy was practically dancing with anticipation beside Roy, wanting to talk, to conspire, to set out on an adventure.

“Now can we –“

Envy was interrupted by Roy, holding his hand out, in front of Envy’s face, as he took a long sip from his coffee with his eyes closed.

Envy was indignant, staring at the gloved hand thinking mutinous thoughts. When Roy finished his sip Envy opened their mouth again to talk, but Roy now held one finger up, halting Envy, as he took another long sip.

Roy savoured it, swallowing the mouthful of coffee, before he lowered his hand and breathed out a happy sigh.

“Now can we ta-“

“Agent Envy, this morning there will be no talking from you for at least another hour unless you are telling me exactly what attacked General Raven last night, and why you survived your brief experience as a shish kabob.” Roy stated, his tiredness making his words clipped.

“Well, I –“ Envy began.

“But first I’m sitting down.” Mustang beelined for his desk. Ed, still guilty about sitting in his chair, dusted papers off his desk, though rather than clearing the area, it was more like Ed was scattering the papers to reach a wider radius. Mustang shot Ed a ‘stop helping’ glare, which was well received.

Ed scratched the back of his head, itching under his braid, before he wandered over to the chairs on the other side of Mustang’s desk, pulling out one for his brother and one for Envy. Envy seemed a little surprised by the wide berth Ed was giving the Colonel to enjoy his cup of coffee, but fell into stride, sitting in the chair Ed set out for them, and twiddling their thumbs, watching Mustang take sip after sip of coffee, staring at the wood grain on the desk’s surface.

Ed was being as patient as he possibly could be, observing the Colonel’s ridiculous coffee centred power play, and watching how Envy seemed to eye off both the coffee cup, and the percolator in the corner, like it was some great suspicious mystery.

Ed wondered if Envy had ever heard of coffee before, or if they ever tasted it. Envy didn’t appear to like eating things, but Ed wondered if Envy could still appreciate textures, flavours, scents. There was a lot that Ed didn’t know about the Agent, and that made him curious more than anything.

Seeing Envy come back from a three centimetre hole in their head may have added to Ed’s Envy-centric curiosity which had only been growing in the past few weeks.

It was other things too. Envy shared the spark of curiosity that Ed had. Ed appreciated a quick mind and it was clear that Envy was a fast learner. It was apparent when Ed observed the gaps in Envy’s knowledge of the world, learning opportunities taken from the homunculus through their imprisonment.

Envy abhorred not knowing things, perhaps equally as much as they enjoyed being a know it all. When Envy had something to say, they overshared, they liked discussing what they knew, they liked being the one to enlighten others, often in as condescending a manner as they could manage, at least with the other people in the unit.

That condescension had softened with Ed. It was almost like Envy treated Ed as an equal, which made Ed like the Agent more.

Ed couldn’t stand being condescended to, being the youngest state alchemist, he got that a lot.

It was a sort of camaraderie that he had developed with Envy. Envy also seemed to know more than they let on, more than the people around them assumed they did. Scientists and military superiors and an assortment of people Ed would never know had condescended to Envy, which makes it unsurprising to Ed that Envy developed such a biting tongue.

How many times Envy had developed that tongue was now the new mystery that had Ed hooked. Physical regeneration of the body. If Ed hadn’t seen it happen with his own eyes, he wouldn’t have believed it. It happened so rapidly, healed so perfectly, so horrifically. Ed tried not to think about his gloves sitting in the bin, drenched with Envy’s blood.

Ed could clearly tell that the whole ordeal had Envy shook. The fact that Envy stayed silent for much of the night was one giveaway. _The way their shoulders shook for an hour, the faint tremors continuing all the way through the car ride back to the office_. The way Envy secluded themselves in the interrogation room was another tell. _How Envy gripped Ed's hand like a lifeline, like a tether to reality._ The way Envy squeezed Ed's hand and Ed squeezed back. _The barely imperceptible look of gratitude Envy showed Ed when they got out of the car._ The familiar haunted look Ed recognised in their eyes, one he had seen before in the mirror. 

Ed was surprised that Envy would make the interrogation room their home, their safe space so quickly, but it was Al who pointed out the similarities between the interrogation room and the large room in the Laboratory that had been Envy’s home for the many years prior. Perhaps they had gone seeking the comfort of familiarity, though Ed couldn’t see what was so inviting about the cold metal furnishings and thick glass.

All Envy let on, between last night, and this morning, was that the homunculus recognised the shadowy shape as one of their own. Another homunculus. Considering how shit scared Envy had seemed of the dark form the other night, spying the assailant from over Raven’s shoulder, Ed took it that there was an element of dysfunction to the ‘family’ Envy had previously mentioned. Though the shadowy form insisted that it had a family as well, right before skewering General Raven through, perhaps homunculi had a different understanding of family than humans did.

Not that Envy seemed scared now. They were practically twitching in their seat, eager to set out to find the missing members of their family, to track down the three rogue homunculi, wherever they may be.

There was a lot, it seemed, that Envy had yet to tell them about this. Personally, Ed didn’t get why Mustang was stalling.

“Can I talk now?” Envy whined, obviously impatient, loathing having to wait to launch into this discussion. “I’m sitting on this stupid seat ‘normally’ and everything.”

Roy was at a point where he knew enough of Agent Envy to realise that sitting on the seat was how Envy was showing actual effort to prove their complacency. And Roy also knew that Envy was trying to genuinely appeal to Roy’s requests or sensibilities, something records show Envy had never done for any of their previous commanding officers before, so, sighing, Roy acknowledged this with a wave.

“Fine. Talk.” Roy finally put down his coffee and laced his hands together, listening properly now from his plush desk chair, fixing Envy in his gaze. “Who’s this other homunculus?”

Envy scratched their head, and began playing with a lock of their hair. “So, I know them, but I don’t know what form they are taking, if that makes sense.”

Roy blinked, and then looked back down to his nearly empty coffee cup despairingly.

“So, what you’re saying is, they’re a shapeshifter, like you?” Ed prompted, trying to prod conversation along on behalf of the Colonel’s limited patience.

“Not like me.” Envy replied, sounding almost egotistical. “None of them are like me. I mean, hmmm –“ Envy frowned, trying to find a way to describe this, before their eyes lit up, mischief and pettiness brightening their features. They grabbed Roy’s coffee cup and pointed to it triumphantly. “I know what’s inside the cup, but I don’t know the cup.”

Roy, Ed, and Alphonse all stared at Envy. Roy stared more at his kidnapped coffee cup, and the bags under his eyes seemed startlingly prominent. The disconcerting lack of immediate comprehension caused Envy’s shoulders to slump a bit, before they looked for another way to describe it. Again their eyes lit up with glee.

Envy moved to tip out the inch or so of coffee left in the cup, the black liquid splattered on the table, before Ed reached out, sensing danger, trying to snatch the cup from Envy before they spilled coffee everywhere.

“No, no no no!” Ed exclaimed, trying to swipe the cup from Envy, while Envy held the cup out of Ed’s reach, purposefully elongating their arm like a noodle to keep the cup away.

“I’m explaining shortstack! Back off!”

“Envy, please, explain without wasting my coffee.” Roy nearly begged, so low on patience right now, a vein in his brow pulsing angrily.

Envy huffed, drawing their arm back to its normal shape, before putting the coffee cup down on the tabletop, and pointing to the splash of near black liquid that was soaking through one of the stray papers left on the desk.

“I know this bit.” Envy then pointed to the cup. “I don’t know what this thing looks like though.”

As the coffee stain blossomed in dark patterns across the papers on the desk, comprehension suddenly seized the alchemists in the room.

“So you’re saying the shadow form has a vessel?” Alphonse prompted. Envy clicked twice, before pointing at Alphonse.

“Yes! Vessel! How did I forget that word?”

“You know the other homunculus then, but you don’t know the shape of its vessel?” Roy clarified. “What _can_ you tell us about it?”

“Well, we’re going way back here.” Envy prefaced the information, before sitting down cross legged on the chair, gesturing with their hands as they spoke. “This would be before the whole program nonsense began, when our Father was still around. Probably four or five hundred years ago give or take.”

Ed’s estimate of how old Envy was was way off. Five hundred years old? Possibly more? While Ed was stewing on that it was Alphonse who blurted out. “So, wait, you’re how old exactly?”

“I’m talking.” Envy snapped, obviously not impressed with the interruption, or perhaps the question. Though Ed didn’t appreciate Envy taking that tone with his brother, he had come to develop an appreciation almost for Envy’s egotism. It was quite amusing.

“You’re looking for Pride. Pride is the oldest, and the closest to Father. Pride could travel, move very quickly, span distances just through shadows – but usually where they went they brought their vessel with them.” Envy explained. “We all were designed to look human, but I’ve never seen Pride’s _vessel_. So obviously, your only course of action is to go looking for any and all signs of a homunculus in Amestris, since Pride’s vessel could be anywhere.”

“If we find Pride’s vessel we can stop him?” Mustang queried.

“I’m assuming your superiors would want you to take him in.” Envy shrugged. “Personally I think it would be kinder to just kill him.”

Ed raised an eyebrow at that. Envy was aiming for flippant but the sentence sounded much more telling of their own situation, eeking a smidgeon of pity from the men at the table.

“So he can be killed?” Mustang remained businesslike, and straightened the lapel on his jacket, thinking of the remote in his jacket pocket.

“It would be funny to see you try.” Envy laughed bitterly. “You’d just be swiping at shadows unless you can find his vessel. Even then you’d have no idea how to take one of us down.”

Roy frowned, still considering the remote for the device welded into Envy’s skin. If the apparatus wasn’t a takedown method, then what was it?

Envy noticed Roy’s hand still over his jacket pocket, and snorted. “Losing faith in your little button there Colonel?”

“What does it do then?” He asked. He had to ask.

“Would you like to find out?” Envy asked, again that hint of manic danger lacing their voice.

That was something Ed wouldn’t understand either. How eager Envy seemed to be to goad the Colonel into taking their life. Being over five hundred years old did put a new perspective on how eager Envy seemed to be to die, but still, Ed didn’t like it. He gritted his teeth, and spoke up, trying to derail the conversation from this topic.

“Stop that.” Ed noted how Mustang’s eyes had narrowed, as though he were tempted for a moment. “Both of you. Drives me up the fucking wall.”

“What’s it to you?” Envy couldn’t help but ask, frowning at Ed.

“I get how to continue living day to day is sort of fucking effortless to you, but for the rest of us it’s not. What’s a default for you is gritty survival for the rest of us, so I’d appreciate it if you stopped talking about how keen you are to have people off you for fun, if you could manage that. Some of us sort of like having you around.” Ed’s sarcastic politeness was just cutting enough to impact Envy, who blinked, surprised at the blonde alchemist, before managing to look at least slightly ashamed.

Roy looked between the two, who now seemed to be determinately avoiding the others gaze, Ed looking gruffly out the window, arms crossed, Envy chewing their bottom lip, looking back down to the wood grain on the desk, twiddling their thumbs, the tension between them evident, though it felt lighter and more hopeful than the usual teasing aggression Envy liked cultivating.

Both of them were thinking about the evening’s illicit hand holding. Though neither of them would ever admit it. Ever.

It seemed Envy had absolutely no idea what to do about being cared for by someone, even slightly. Roy could see the embarrassed red tinting Ed’s cheeks, but he was surprised to see a similar tint cross the homunculi’s features.

Sighing and rubbing his forehead, Roy decided at someone had to be professional, it may as well be him.

“Agent Envy, while I agree finding Pride’s vessel is essential to this investigation, why do you believe we will need travel clearance? If the murders have all taken place around Central then wouldn’t it follow that the vessel we are looking for is also in Central?”

Envy opened their mouth and raised their finger, before closing their mouth, stumped momentarily. “Well, I just thought, since we are already investigating one homunculus, and it’s been so boring here in Central, I mean – this investigation is practically at a dead end here, our bai-victim’s dead, we don’t know who the next victim will be, and we’ve been turning up nothing for weeks without the gala – _and_ we don’t know if Pride would be in Central, they could be anywhere- I just thought we should try and find the others?” They shrugged, their voice lilting up at the end of their sentence, knowing that they were pushing their own agenda here a little.

Roy exhaled, before beginning. “Agent Envy –“

“But you said you’d help me find them!” Envy interrupted, plaintive and pouting.

“I said I’d look into the situation within the program.” Roy corrected.

Ed shifted on his seat. “I said I’d help find them.”

“Edward you just can’t go and promise things like that!” The vein in Roy’s forehead was back to twitching again.

“Brother, you never told me this!” Alphonse seemed upset that his brother had kept this from him, though Ed always seemed to be tight lipped on the topic of Envy around his brother, perhaps sensing his brother’s dislike of the homunculus.

“The opportunity is right there!” Envy gestured. “It fits in with your case and everything. You can just say you’re following a lead!”

“We will be following a lead, but concerning this investigation Envy, not your own.” Roy emphasised.

“It’s related to the investigation!”

“Colonel, to be fair, you let me go off books a couple of times before when I needed to find out a few things.” Ed argued. “Couldn’t you just bend the rules here a little?”

“Bending the rules for the youngest state alchemist and his brother is a little different than bending the rules for –“ Roy pinched the bridge of his nose, and banged his fist on the tabletop. “Do you have any idea how many rules I’d have to bend – how many I’m already bending just to keep them here, and not back in the lab every night? It’s more complicated than just following a lead. I would have to lie to my superiors for this to even stand a chance of passing clearance.”

“I’m not asking you to lie for them-“ Ed began, while Envy, at the same time said.

“Lying’s not that hard. This is practically a truth anyway.”

“Envy.” Ed gritted out, his attempts at diplomacy on Envy’s behalf being inadvertently sabotaged by the homunculi’s personality.

“You’re investigating the location of the rogue homunculus. You don’t have to say which one.” Envy pressed. “Besides, there’s no way you’d find them without me.”

“You can’t let someone else do the investigating for you?” Alphonse suggested, looking for balanced alternatives. “That would draw less attention. Someone else could split off and follow your leads.”

“What happens when these investigators find my siblings then, huh?” Envy countered. “You could lose twenty men splitting the effort, or you could let me go, since at least you know I’ll be coming back from it.”

“What happens if they don’t want to be found?” Al questioned.

“Well, they _don’t_ want to be found.” Envy replied, then gestured to their back. “Take a look at the alternative to a life in hiding and tell me how appealing it looks to you.”

“So you’d find your siblings just to bring them in?” Al retorted. “You’d subject them to the same thing that happened to you?”

“No I wouldn’t.” Envy sounded offended.

“Then why bother looking for them, if you’d have to bring them in?”

“I just want to find them, okay.” Envy yelled.

The room fell silent after Envy’s outburst, and then sounded the click of the door, as Riza returned with a large box of reports for the Colonel.

She paused, seeming to note the tension in the room. Envy wasn’t looking at the Colonel, and the Colonel was massaging his temples. Alphonse was looking at his brother, who was looking at Envy, compassion in his eyes, the homunculi was decidedly looking away, avoiding the pitied stare.

Riza strode through the office decisively, and put the box full of reports on the Colonel’s desk. “That’s what Sheska could find that was already in print. She’s going to be pulling in more information throughout the day.”

“Thank you Lieutenant.” Mustang replied, sounding more exhausted now than he did before his first coffee.

Riza stood by the desk and watched the tension turn into awkwardness, no one making eye contact for a solid minute, no one reaching for the papers yet either.

Roy broke the silence.

“Look through the information that we pull in today. If, that is _if_ , we find any solid evidence pointing us in the direction of one of the rogue homunculus – I will do my best to get clearance for the unit to investigate, even you Agent Envy – but finding Pride is still our priority. Do you understand?”

Envy saw this as the olive branch that it was and nodded, the beginnings of a smile starting to spread across their face. Before Envy could get too excited, Roy waved his hand at the homunculus and the brothers.

“Dismissed. You can take the papers to the adjoining room. Not one of those papers leaves this office, do you understand?”

Envy jumped up, bouncing on the balls of their feet, and fired off a pithy salute. “Loud and clear Colonel.”

Envy wrapped their arms around the box of reports and hightailed it into the adjoining room, gone in a flash.

Ed smiled fondly at the homunculus’ cheerful retreat and Roy directed a stern glare at Ed. “For the record, I consider this your fault.”

Ed fought the urge to flip the Colonel off. “Yeah, yeah.”

“You’re on supervision duty. Agent Envy is far too happy. I don’t like it.” Roy began patting down the spilled coffee on his desk with napkins from the drawer, the wry note to his voice indicating the partial joke there.

Ed rolled his eyes, but he was grinning too. “Whatever you say.” He pushed up out of his seat and Alphonse followed, though he seemed less pleased to do so. Ed paused by the door to the adjoining room, and looked back at the Colonel, who was still mopping coffee from his desk.

“Thanks, by the way.”

“Don’t mention it.” Mustang said, then looked over to Ed. “Really, don’t.”

Stifling a smile, Ed shook his head, and joined the excitable homunculus in the adjoining room.

Time to find some leads.


	10. Chapter 10

_A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones.  
Proverbs 14:30_

 

**_Chapter 10_ **

It was a familiar comfort, the chugging sound of a steam engine racing along the tracks, countryside blurring pleasantly out the window, green and pale yellow fields meeting crystal blue skies as the train passed farmlands and rural towns.

Ed and Alphonse loved train trips, it seemed most of their lives they’ve embarked on various journeys by train, heading all over Amestris. It always seemed like a warm kind of homecoming, taking the train trip out of the city, back into the rural south of the country.

It wasn’t Resembool. That would really feel like a homecoming, but it was good enough. Taking the train to Resembool made Ed think of sunny days, Winry’s apple pie, the smell of WD-40 and the heat of Winry’s welding gun close to his shoulder. It made Ed think of hearty dinners at Granny Pinako’s house, Den’s wet nose nudging at his knee under the dinner table, hunting for scraps, playing fetch, and sparring in the yard with Al. All good memories.

Lieutenant Hawkeye sat in plainclothes two booths down, playing a cool hand of poker with Lieutenant Havoc and Lieutenant Breda, who were both losing painfully. The betting pot consisted of biscuits from the refreshments trolley, and a few cigarettes bet by Lieutenant Havoc. Colonel Mustang was further down the carriage, in the hallway, using the train’s telephone to chatter away to his contacts back in Central. He wore plainclothes as well, as did the rest of the unit, who all appeared to be nothing more than a group of friends returning to the country for the summertime. Even Agent Envy was strongarmed into wearing normal looking clothing, and wore a long sleeved shirt and thin trousers.

Alphonse and Ed never saw much use attempting to go incognito. Al’s metal body stood out no matter where they went, and the flower tucked into the lip of his visor by Agent Envy – intended to foster a casual recreational look, remained in Al’s armour, despite how much the homunculus had initially laughed at the look. Al found he rather liked it. The flower did make him feel a tad more relaxed.

Ed and Al shared the booth backing onto the unit’s booth, with Agent Envy, who seemed utterly fascinated by everything this train trip entailed.

For the first hour they stared out the window, wide eyes taking in everything with enthusiasm. Then they leaned over the top of their booth, helping Lieutenant Havoc cheat at cards, sabotaging the Lieutenant last minute just to laugh as Riza won the pool from him. Then they took to pacing along the carriage’s corridor, exploring every nook of the train – or at least the carriage, Colonel Mustang couldn’t let Envy leave the carriage, having to keep them in his sight, and eventually lost patience with Envy’s pacing and poking around, telling them to sit back down and stay still.

There was a giddiness when travelling to Agent Envy, a joy that couldn’t be dampened by orders. Even sitting down Envy was still ridiculously happy, pointing at everything out the window and exclaiming at certain buildings, rivers, animals in the fields. They were fascinated.

Ed found it beyond endearing. As much as Envy was an enigma, an immortal homunculus, a shapeshifter, over 500 years old, possessed of unfathomable knowledge – they still acted so much like a child. And it was that childlike enthusiasm that drew Ed out of his shell too, bandying jokes and wry comments back and forth with the homunculus, pointing out landmarks, telling old stories from his childhood, playing to Envy’s curiosity.

Ed liked curiosity.

It was rare for him to find a curiosity that matched his own, twice as rare to find a similar curiosity that he didn’t find grating. Most of the other alchemists he trained with were competitive in their curiosity. Pushy. They seemed to be in it for the glory or recognition that seeking knowledge brought.

Not Envy. Envy, like Ed, just seemed to enjoy seeing how things worked. While Ed would take things apart with his curiosity and put it back together again, Envy just seemed to like pushing things to understand them, until they broke, and all the parts were laid bare.

They were clearly trying to be more conscientious though. Ed saw it, in the way Envy seemed to be making an effort more. Giving Lieutenant Havoc their crackers from the food cart after losing him the pot, as a consolation prize. Bringing Colonel Mustang a cup of coffee in pseudo apology for driving him crazy exploring the carriage. Mustang accepted the coffee but was very suspicious of the beverage for about ten minutes, sniffing and stirring and finally sipping the liquid when convinced it wasn’t poisoned. Even tucking the flower in Alphonse’s armour at their rest stop became endearing.

Ed liked it, and warmed up to the homunculus at an exponential rate, already liking the strange creature somewhat already. Ed shared stories with Envy, and Envy in turn shared stories with Ed, hundreds of years worth of information and intelligence conveyed in cheerful anecdotes on a steam train.

It was nice.

“So then the Viscount looks me up and down and goes ‘You’re not my wife’ and then I go to the guy ‘no shit’, and I sucker punch him then and there. So he spits out his drink in front of the whole ballroom. His niece is there, and suddenly she’s getting found out for her aunt’s murder, along with her uncle. They both stand to lose a fortune if they get arrested for it. She faints, dramatically, and knocks over the whole buffet table onto the floor, and the uncle bolts out the door, trying to leg it down the street.”

Envy’s anecdotes could even be quite funny, sometimes. It’s clear Envy thought they were, even if they tended to be a bit more macabre. Perhaps it was in the telling.

“So the unit pursues, and the niece gets up thinking that the attention’s off her now. But the sentry soldiers caught her uncle at the door, and he looks right at her and she knows that he’s going to rat her out, pin it all on her. So she reaches into her purse and pulls out a pistol, and shoots her uncle point blank in the head from the other side of the room, and then turns and puts the gun under her chin – why are you making that face?”

“How is this a funny story? This sounds nothing like a funny story. You said this story would be better than the last one.” Ed’s jaw had been hanging open just seconds ago, trying to follow how the tale went from shameful dinner party, to murder suicide in ten seconds.

“It’s funny how dumb they are.” Envy laughed, and then crossed their legs over again, sitting on the seat in the train, legs twisted into their usual pretzel. “This is totally a better story. Two murders! All for money too. People are stupid.”

Ed could have been disturbed for a moment longer, but it seemed he was getting used to Envy and all the morbidity their life entailed.

Considering the majority of their stories were from previous missions that went wrong, or right, and knowing that Envy didn’t exactly have occasion to go out and make non-violent memories given the nature of being essentially a weapon for hire, Ed couldn’t really hold it against them that all their stories were blood splattered nightmares. At this point Ed only made a token protest against the content of the stories, simply because Envy told all their stories like they were comedies.

Ed wasn’t sure how he’d go about teaching Envy that death wasn’t funny, especially since Envy was more or less immortal, they were used to laughing at death daily.

So Ed just shrugged, and nodded. “That reminds me of some stupid story Al and I have, way back when we visited Youswell and this douchebag of a first lieutenant was scamming this mining town, making up fake taxes to bankrupt the townsfolk into selling him their property. Sonovabitch was rich, but stupid.”

“Somehow they think it’s a winning combination.” Envy laughed, and continued listening to Ed’s story.

“Can’t remember the bastard’s name. Hoki? Soki? Some crap like that, but the idiot couldn’t tell the difference between real gold and alchemised bricks, so we ended up ‘buying’ the town back off him and giving it to the townspeople. They chased him the fuck outta town, and he got booted out of the military too come to think of it.”

“Tsk, tsk. Alchemising gold.” Envy waggled their finger at Ed like he was a naughty child. “Isn’t that one of your society’s taboos? Wouldn’t want to upset the status quo by rendering the economy irrelevant, now would you?”

“Pccht.” Ed waved his hand dismissively. “You can’t get away with anything in this economy. Except maybe scamming scammers. For that you get a free pass.”

“Uhuh, and how much fake gold did this free pass cost?” Envy joked, crossing their legs and stroking their chin.

“Clearly I’m a charming fucker, and I got off scott free. A free ‘free pass’.” Ed leaned forward in his chair too, grinning winsomely.

Envy laughed loudly at this, and kicked below Ed’s chair tauntingly. “You’re so full of shit.”

“Like you can talk.” Ed laughed right back. The sound of their shared laughter rang loud in the carriage, obvious and jovial. Comfortable.

Alphonse however, felt uncomfortable. He had been noticing little things lately.

His brother had been leaning closer and closer to Agent Envy for a while now. Al didn’t like it.

Al had noticed Ed’s caution, his wariness for the dangerous Agent diminishing the more time they spent together. Ed wasn’t one for caution generally, and his tendency to run head first into danger often got the brothers in trouble on more than one occasion. Al had hoped though that given the fact they all had to sign paperwork cautioning them away from the homunculus agent that Ed would take the precaution to heart, and maintain that space between himself and the dangerous weapon. Al knew Ed was curious about Envy, and had been since day one meeting the homunculus, but now he seemed to be looking for excuses to spend time with the agent.

This was not good.

Al knew that Envy had information they could potentially use to regain their bodies. Information Envy was strategically withholding while simultaneously promising to divulge. In the first few weeks the Agent was enlisted with the unit it was all Ed talked about, the mystery, the potential, the intelligence, the possibility.

Al was fine with this, because it meant Ed was interested in Envy for what Envy could do for them, they were fulfilling a use. Ed using Envy for the information they had was something Al was oddly okay with. Al usually was a lot more empathetic towards the people he and his brother encountered, but something about Envy immediately rubbed Al the wrong way. He didn’t mind using Envy for their knowledge just this once, considering they were so dangerous it was likely once the mission was over they’d never see Envy again.

Ed, of course, didn’t maintain his distance from the agent. He clearly thought Envy was fascinating. And not just because they apparently knew how philosophers stones were made.

The thing that Al was noticing was that Ed seemed to be interested in Envy for Envy’s personality more and more now, and since that personality was, if the case file was to be believed, that of a compulsive liar, a sociopath devoid of empathy, with wild violent tendencies – Al was less okay with this.

Al wouldn’t have cared too much if it were just Ed who seemed interested – one sided attraction Al could deal with, that was something Ed could process and move on from if it wasn’t reciprocated. For the first few weeks that was what Al was hoping for.

But then this started happening.

Envy leaning closer to Ed. Envy watching Ed from across the room. Envy drawing Ed into whatever conversations they were conducting. Envy teasing Ed, sitting next to Ed, laughing with Ed.

Al didn’t like it.

Because, sure, Ed could move on from his interest, which he would need to when Envy goes back to the lab after the mission. Ed could move on, if it was one sided, given time and space. Al was confident of this.

But if Envy was interested in Ed, Al could quickly see whatever bond the two were slowly forming turning into something dangerous. Al didn’t trust Envy’s interest in anyone to stay within the realms of healthy interaction, given that the agent usually lived behind six feet of reinforced bulletproof glass. Given that they didn’t know what healthy interaction was. Envy could, and probably would, eventually hurt his brother, Al was sure of it.

Right now it just seemed like friendship, which Al could deal with, but he only ever saw his brother pull out that ‘charming’ grin when he was flirting with someone – a sight Al hadn’t seen often but could quickly enough recognise, given how intuitive he was about these things.

If Ed was flirting, the likelihood of him being hurt by pursuing this increased exponentially.

Al hoped it wasn’t the case.

Ed and Envy continued nattering on, bandying banter back and forth as the train chugged along the tracks.

Al wasn’t going to say anything at this point in time. He knew his brother was stubborn. Warning his brother away from the agent would have him digging his heels in and doing the opposite of what Al told him. Ed liked to be contrary, and Al knew it.

And there was a part of Al who just wanted to be happy for his brother. But this could only end badly.

For now it was best just to leave things be. There would be a right time to intervene.

Just not yet.

Envy was back to looking out the window, pointing out the scenery.

“Are we almost there? What’s that lake? Is it a lake? It’s huge.”

“That’s Kauroy Lake. There’s actually an island in the middle of it. Yock Island.” Ed explained, playing the tour guide. “Al and I were stranded there for a month when we were kids. Survival training, our teacher said. I think she just wanted to get rid of us to be honest.”

“Strand children on a deserted island.” Envy paused, then grinned. “Cheaper than daycare.”

Ed laughed, Envy’s morbid humour growing on him.

“You survived obviously.” Envy pointed out.

“Yeah we did.” Ed looked out the window nostalgically, smiling fondly as the lake whizzed past out the window.

“She taught you well then.” Envy surmised, watching Ed warm to the praise on behalf of his teacher, happy to have drawn such a positive reaction out of him.

“Taught us well enough to no longer consider us her apprentices. Three years ago she decided we were on equal footing. Still can’t shake the habit of calling her Sensei though. She lives here, in Dublith.” Ed kicked his legs out, wedging them under Envy’s seat, stretching.

“Are you going to visit?” Envy asked.

“She’d kill us if we didn’t.” Ed chuckled, and crossed his arms over his chest.

“She sounds interesting. Slightly homicidal, always a plus. Willing to leave two children on a deserted island to teach them the way of the world, uniquely inspired.” Envy did seem impressed, though they seemed to fixate on the grislier details. Tapping their chin thoughtfully Envy mused. “I wonder if I’d be able to meet her.”

Ed scoffed. “If they let you.”

“You can’t ask for me?” Envy wheedled, extending their leg out from pretzel formation, kicking Ed’s leg lightly. “Colonel Hardass doesn’t listen to me. He listens to you.”

This was another thing Al was noticing. Ed had been making efforts more and more to stand up for Agent Envy, to advocate for the things that Envy might not have gotten clearance for on their own. Envy seemed to be capitalizing on it, asking Ed to ask Colonel Mustang for increasing freedoms on their behalf. It was harmless enough for now, but Al could only see it as Envy testing what sway they had over Ed.

Al still didn’t trust Envy. Clearly Ed didn’t have that same problem.

Ed rolled his eyes, and nudged his leg against Envy’s in retaliation, before he shrugged. “We could roll it into the trip.”

Turning in his chair, calling out across the carriage, Ed asked, oblivious to the wide grin Envy wore.

“Hey Colonel.”

Roy paused his phone conversation, putting the telephone against his chest, looking up to Ed.

“Can we stop off to visit Izumi before going to the hotel?”

Roy waved at Ed, dismissive, nodding, before turning back to his phone call. “Sure, sure.”

Ed continued to stick his head out of their booth, still interrupting Roy’s call. “Can I bring this one?”

Envy poked their head out of the carriage too now and waved at the Colonel.

Roy narrowed his eyes, and clacked his tongue, obviously feeling this request was pushing it, as his supervision would be required wherever Envy went. Two sets of beseeching eyes were on him now though, and he sighed, shaking his head, before calling back down the carriage.

“The whole unit will have to come too. You should call ahead to let her know.”

Envy pumped their fist in the air, triumphant, and Ed smirked indulgently at the homunculi’s reaction, before calling back at the Colonel.

“Yeah, whenever you get off your ‘very important phone call’ you just let me know.”

Sitting back in the booth now, smug expression plastered over his face, Ed stretched his arms out over the back of his seat.

When he looked over at Envy, the homunculus was still cheering, practically bouncing in their seat.

“Why are you so happy?”

Envy’s purple eyes were bright with joy, and they cocked their head at Ed, still grinning wide.

“You get to meet my family, and now I’m meeting yours.”

The train chugged on.


	11. Chapter 11

_Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.  
Proverbs 22:6_

 

**_Chapter 11_ **

Standing in Izumi Curtis’ front yard was like sitting in the front row of seats in a boxing arena. If you sat there and didn’t expect a little blood splatter, you were in the wrong arena.

Not that you’d expect it given how Ed and Al talked about her while walking through the city, having picked up a cake for their former teacher on the way.

They spoke about how excellent it would be to see their sensei, how her husband would be getting off work by now, so he’d be coming home from the butcher’s shop for dinner, how they could all have dinner together perhaps, how they hoped Izumi was getting better as she’d been chronically sick for a while now. It seemed all blandly domestic, which was perhaps why it was so surprising the way Izumi greeted the brothers.

Ed knocked on the door first, calling out. “Sensei, we’re here. We brought cake.”

Riza was the cake custodian, and she, Roy, Havoc and Breda stood to the side in the front yard, watching Ed and Al go to the door first. Envy stood a little bit behind the brothers, curious about what Ed’s teacher would be like.

Footsteps sounded out as someone paced to the door, and as the door was thrown open a flying kick soon followed, catching Ed in the jaw and knocking him back three paces to fall on his ass. Al took a fearful step back, and Envy dodged to the side, their expression utterly delighted.

“First visit of the year and you bring your military pals to _my_ house? You sloppy, lackadaisical excuse for an alchemist. This isn’t a warzone, this is my garden, you brat!”

Al took a step forward, holding his hand out placatingly. “S-sensei – we didn’t mean –“

Izumi grabbed Al by the wrist and threw him swiftly across the yard to crash into his brother. Al landed with a clang that knocked Ed back to the ground, both of them groaning. Izumi cut an imposing figure, looming over them.

“You think cake will make this better? Well?”

The brothers winced as they sat up, looking at their teacher who seemed to be expectant of something.

“Well, what?” Ed had the courage to ask.

“Well. What kind of cake is it? I’m starving.” Izumi finished, her expression not exactly brightening, more like going from terrifying to less terrifying. She stood straight and turned, walking back into the house, her sandals clacking on the concrete path, and she waved her hand to follow. “What are you waiting for? Come inside before it gets dark.”

Ed and Al moved to follow immediately, but the unit still stood shocked on the edge of the lawn, not prepared for Izumi’s ire, or her fervent dislike of the military. Or her killer flying kick.

Izumi jerked her chin at the rest of the unit, indicating they should come inside also.

“You lot too. I suppose there’s no getting rid of you at this point, you may as well come inside for tea. Come on.”

Izumi led the way and the others followed single file, reacting to her as they would to their drill sergeants back at the academy. As they walked through the house, Havoc murmured to Roy.

“Somehow this explains so much.”

Roy snorted, but said nothing. He was keeping an eye on Envy, who was one of the first to follow the brothers into the house. Roy didn’t think Envy was much of a flight risk at this particular moment, they were far too giddy just being here seeing Ed’s teacher. The smile hadn’t left their face for a second, and their eyes were taking in everything, sharp and perceptive.

They filed into the living room area, and Riza put the cake box down on the coffee table. The brothers had sat down on one of the couches, so the rest of the unit situated themselves on the couches too, crowded around the coffee table. Envy even sat like a normal person this time, clearly, they were trying to make a good impression for once.

Izumi stood and pulled her hair back into a ponytail, looking at the assembled guests.

“Well, what kind of cake is it?”

“It’s a coffee cake.” Riza replied, looking Izumi in the eye seriously.

“I’ll have to put some coffee on then before Sig gets home. Or is it tea for you?”

Riza nodded, a small smile gracing her features. “Tea for me.”

“A sniper, I take it?” Izumi guessed, pinning Riza’s profession down instantly. The blonde lady’s eyes widened for a moment before she nodded. “I can see it in your eyes. Precision.”

“We all have our tells.” Riza replied.

“So what brings three soldiers-“ Izumi’s eyes flitted across Havoc and Breda, before panning across the group. “A sniper, some glove wearing state alchemist bigshot, and whatever _that_ thing is, traipsing in with my former apprentices to Dublith, of all places?”

The smile fell slightly from Envy’s face, and they looked momentarily offended. Ed tried not to smirk, his sensei hitting the nail on the head.

Roy was the one to tactfully put forth an explanation. Ed was still trying not to cackle at the venomous look Envy was shooting him.

“We are following a lead on a case. The details are… confidential.”

“Bullshit confidential. This is my hometown, if anything’s going down here I should know about it, and I might already. Not much gets past me.”

Roy looked conflicted for a moment, uncertain if he should bypass protocol for the capable housewife, but Envy took the decision out of his hands.

“Know anything about people in the area with unusual abilities? Rubbery limbs? Scaly backs? Plausible immortality? What? I’m just asking.” Envy protested the silencing glare Mustang shot them, clearly having too much fun flouting confidentiality.

Izumi looked at Envy for a second, thrown by the strange guest in her house. “Who is this?” She asked incredulously.

“This is –“ Roy begun, willing to smooth over introductions but Envy interrupted again.

“Special Agent Envy, pleasure to meet you.” Envy extended their hand, the politeness of the gesture stunning for anyone who knew Envy. Good first impressions weren’t usually Envy’s forte.

Though the rest of the unit were mildly impressed with Envy’s attempts at making a polite connection, Izumi wasn’t, and stared down the homunculus, refusing to return the handshake, narrowing her eyes at Envy until their polite expression wavered and festered, Envy now scowling back at Izumi – a dangerous thing to do.

“So tell me, Agent Envy, why are you searching for people with unusual talents in Dublith?” Izumi asked coldly, staring down Envy’s sullen look with one of distrust and disdain.

Envy’s jaw jutted out, stubborn, and they withdrew their extended hand and leaned back against the couch.

“You know, I would have told you, if you’d have shook my hand.” Envy spat pettily. “I was being polite and everything.”

Eyes narrowing, Izumi tsked under her breath, before bringing her palms together, clapping. Envy’s eyes widened with excitement upon seeing the clap, and their reflexes were fast, springing up from the couch just as a pillar of stone from the wall speared into Envy’s spot on the couch. It would have run them through if they hadn’t moved.

Ed yelled in shock when his former teacher made such a swift violent move to spear the person sitting next to him, and he scrambled back, looking around for Envy, letting out a small sigh of relief to see them in one piece, perched on the spear of stone like it was a balance beam at the gym.

“Not very hospitable of you.” Envy commented, though their tone was bitter.

“I wasn’t _aiming_ for hospitable.” Izumi commented, shifting her stance, ready to clap again, to alchemise another spear of stone to run Envy through.

“Sensei – wait!” Ed stood and stepped in between her and Envy, arms out in front of him, attempting to pacify the situation. “They’re working with us. They’re on our side.”

“I know of their kind.” Izumi replied, her stance still aggressive, ready to shift into battle at a seconds notice. “They’re never on your side.”

“Well, when you attack first and ask questions later, maybe that’s _your_ fault.” Envy replied, their hands gripping the edge of the pillar tightly, tight enough to cause the rock to crack beneath their fingers.

Behind the column of stone that was separating the living room, the soldiers from the unit had their weapons cocked, aimed at Izumi and Envy defensively. Riza was the one who spoke up, regarding Izumi through the crosshairs of her gun.

“Regardless of your feelings on our Agent, they are government property, and I cannot allow you to assault them.”

“The situation is under control.” Roy insisted, his hands also held up, placatingly. “The agent is no threat to you.”

Izumi regarded the Colonel for a moment, and how Envy seemed to roll their eyes at being supposedly under control by the Colonel. Envy still crouched on the stone column, resting on the balls of their feet, ready to spring out and attack, purple eyes glaring at Izumi through a curtain of hair. They looked feral and vicious despite how controlled they supposedly were.

It was only when Ed turned around to Envy and mouthed ‘what the fuck do you think you’re doing’ did Envy stop fixating on Izumi, blinking at Ed for a moment, before shrugging and sheepishly sliding down from the stone spear to set their feet on the ground.

“She started it.” Envy muttered stubbornly.

“She starts a lot of things. Can everyone just chill for a hot fucking second and talk like normal people? Coffee cake.” Ed gestured to the cake emphatically. “Come on.”

Izumi was staring at Ed now, thrown by how the homunculus who wouldn’t listen to its commanding officer was somehow listening to Ed. Standing up, her back straight, Izumi clapped once more and the huge stone spear retreated back into the wall of her house, leaving the living room slightly dusty, but no worse for the wear. The couch however needed an additional clap to fix the gigantic hole torn through the furnishing.

“Fine. Who wants tea or coffee?” Izumi said curtly when the living room was cleared.

The startled members of the unit were still a little shocked, both by the sudden attack, the vehemence of it, and how quickly the agent moved. That sort of speed made the thought of restraining the agent a near impossible part of the job description. If Envy could move like that at a moments notice, it was clear they were only still with this unit because they wanted to be, and that was possibly more concerning than the speed and strength they possessed.

The tea and coffee preferences were placed and the group sat to talk candidly. Ed, knowing that it would be senseless to keep anything from his sensei, told her everything, and slowly they caught up.

Envy sat next to Ed, as though his proximity were the only thing keeping them from flinging themselves at Izumi once more, just to pay the housewife back for her disrespect. Now that they’d met her, Envy was far less enthused to get to know ‘Ed’s family’.

* * *

 

“So you’re here in Dublith looking for another homunculus.”

“We’ve had reports that there might be one around here. The reports have been mixed though. We’ve had reports of a woman who can stretch her limbs out like noodles. Reports of a man covered in scales like an alligator. Reports of a tall guy with an ouroboros tattoo. The ouroboros has been cropping up everywhere around Dublith. Someone’s been graffitiing it on buildings.”

“It’s been carved into livestock too.” Izumi added. Ed seemed surprised. “You haven’t heard?” 

“It wasn’t in our reports.” Roy answered, frowning.

“We heard down at the farmers market. From the guy Sig buys our pigs from.” Izumi crossed her arms thoughtfully. “Some of the livestock has been going missing from farms across the county. At first we just assumed wolves were taking them, but then larger animals started going missing. It was only recently some of them were returned.”

“Returned with the ouroboros as a brand?” Roy clarified.

“No, returned slaughtered. Dropped off on the edge of the property lines of the farm butchered beyond recognition, the ouroboros drawn on the ground around them in their entrails, or carved between the eyes.”

“That sounds offal.” Envy quipped, and laughed quietly to themselves at the stern looks their pun got them. Now that they didn’t care what Izumi thought of them, they were back to their old morbid self again, pushing for reactions from people, irreverent of the situation.

“Its not a joke.” Izumi scowled at Envy.

“Sounds like one from where I’m sitting.” Envy replied. They elaborated with wicked glee. “The only homunculus I can think of who would have any use for kidnapping livestock would be Gluttony, and he wouldn’t give them back after he took them. If he took them, no one would ever see them again.”

“So we’re thinking it’s not a homunculus stealing the livestock then?” Ed asked Envy, trying to be serious. “Who else would know about that symbol?”

“Anyone in the military who’s ever worked with a homunculus before?” Envy suggested. “It shouldn’t be common knowledge. Unless something’s changed in the past eight years.”

“It’s not common knowledge.” Izumi said. “Ordinary people know nothing of homunculi, and I’m guessing in the military you only get rumours.”

“I had no clue about the symbol.” Havoc scratched his beard, considering. “Just the horror stories.”

“Flattering.” Envy commented.

“The horror stories couldn’t have prepared me for this one though.” Havoc added sarcastically, jerking his thumb at Envy, and smiling wide at the offended look that graced Envy’s features.

“You make the mistake of assuming this one’s domesticated, just because it’s on a tight leash.” Izumi said sharply, correcting Havoc. “Don’t poke the bear if you can’t handle it’s fury.”

“Thank you!” Envy turned their grin on Izumi, before her cold glare shot them down.

“I’ve fought many bears before, of course.”

Envy huffed, and examined their nails, muttering to themselves. “Yeah, I bet you have.”

“Colonel Mustang, I hope you know not to take them at face value.” Izumi warned. “You’ve taken a rabid dog travelling with you. I was under the impression that when they weren’t needed on the field, homunculi went back to the lab.”

“Agent Envy has done nothing so far to indicate a lack of compliance with the aims of this investigation.” Mustang said diplomatically.

“You seem to know a lot about program protocols.” Envy crossed their legs, watching Izumi. “What’s the connection? For someone who hates the military you seem to know an awful lot about it. Even things you shouldn’t know.”

“I used to travel with a man who implemented the programs protocols.” Izumi replied, just as diplomatically. “He shared a lot about your kind with me.”

“Who was it?” Envy asked sharply.

“An old friend.” Izumi replied, not giving her friend away, despite how intently Envy seemed to want to know.

“Hmm.” Envy tsked and sat back in their seat, crossing their arms, mimicking Izumi’s posture.

“Have you ever met another homunculus in Dublith, sensei?” Ed questioned. “You seem to be able to spot them quickly enough. If anyone would have noticed it would be you.”

“There’s a bar downtown. I didn’t see the homunculus, but I saw something …similar. A young Xingese man, with long black hair. He didn’t give off the same indicators as your Agent here, but there was a connection.”

“What indicators?” Envy asked defensively, taking the same sort of tone they took when someone disparaged one of their disguises.

“I don’t need to tell you.” Izumi replied snidely.

“It might help with our investigation though sensei.” Alphonse suggested. “If we are supposed to pinpoint Pride’s vessel. It would be helpful to be able to know what tells there are.”

Izumi pursed her lips, still deliberating whether or not to reveal her technique in front of Envy, who seemed perhaps more invested than the rest of the unit. Tenting her fingers together, she reached a decision.

“It’s not just alchemists who can use this technique, but having a basic understanding of alchemy, of the flow of energy through the earth, the tectonic plates moving, and even understanding the basic tenants of Xingese alkahestry helps. You need to be able to sense the currents flowing, to feel that movement in the air, in the ground, in everything around you. You need to connect with the one, with the all, and feel it’s flow.”

Ed and Al nodded, following their teacher’s concepts like they were kids again, like this was another lesson, and it was in a way. The military members of the unit were rapt as well. Only Envy seemed to be displeased with the information.

“When you are familiar with the currents, the way energy flows naturally, encompassing every living and non-living thing, you can detect abnormalities. Disruptions in the energy currents, unnatural loci of energy concentrated in a single being. You won’t be able to pick it up straight away.” She said, addressing the brothers. “It takes practise. It’s like meditation. Luckily you seem to have someone you can practise on.”

She gave Envy a dubious look, and Envy looked irate for a moment. “No you cannot ‘practise’ on me. No anything on me. No.”

“What does practising entail? Just meditation? It won’t hurt will it?” Ed asked, clarifying quickly, perhaps on Envy’s behalf. Ed didn’t want to do anything intrusive that would hurt Envy, it was clear by their reactions that they’ve had enough of people experimenting on them.

“Is that what you’re worried about?” Izumi barked out a laugh. “A little pain never hurt anyone, it builds character.”

“That’s actually the point of pain – that it hurts. That it hurts people.” Envy scowled, their shoulders stiff, their entire posture defensive now.

“Calm down little one.” Izumi still seemed slightly mirthful, amused to ‘poke the bear’ though perhaps it was to be expected, knowing how she spent her time in Briggs. “I can assure you, there is absolutely no pain involved in someone else meditating near you. I’m surprised a creature so powerful is bothered by something like the thought of pain.”

“Let’s just say I’ve had enough of it.” Envy replied curtly, though their shoulders were less tense now that the prospect of something painful or invasive was off the table.

Roy cleared his throat. “Perhaps we can put that technique on the backburner for now. You said there was a bar?”

Izumi forked the last bit of her slice of coffee cake up and put it in her mouth, chewing. She swallowed, and said. “It’s called the Devil’s Nest, but be very cautious. It’s a rough bar, with tougher customers than most.”

“Have you been there?” Alphonse asked.

“Not me.” Izumi replied. “Sig has. Went for a pint, and saw quite a few interesting characters.”

Alphonse couldn’t imagine Sig going anywhere where there were tougher customers than him. The man was a great hulking bloke, with more muscles than he’d seen anywhere, except perhaps on Major Armstrong.

“Did he ever go back there?” Ed pressed.

“I think he would have liked to.” Izumi rubbed her chin, considering. “He could have made some friends there. But a bar like that is no place for a housewife, and Sig and I like to go on date nights together.”

“I see.” Colonel Mustang drummed his fingers on the arm of the couch.

“Sig’s coming home in a few minutes.” Izumi announced. “So you’ve had your cake. It’s time for you all to get out.”

Abrupt though it was, no one argued with Izumi, and the unit picked up their belongings and made to file out the door. Envy was the first to get up to leave, already waiting by the door, obviously keen to be as far away from Izumi Curtis as possible.

Ed and Al stopped to hug Izumi before leaving, and Izumi whispered to them both.

“Be careful with your agent there. They have more than one reason for being here.”

Ed pulled away from the hug, and looked to the Agent, who stood in the doorway, nudging Havoc’s shoes out of the way as he tried to toe them on. Ed saw Envy laughing, and thought about how Envy was here to find their family, how they’ve been hurt before, and how they had more vested in this mission than it seemed. Ed thought he knew the other reason for Envy being here.

He didn’t know the half of it.


	12. Chapter 12

_As we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.  
2 Corinthians 4:18_

 

**_Chapter 12_ **

The hotel they were staying in was in the city centre of Dublith. It was a charming brick building about four stories tall on the corner of the intersection. The unit had booked out several rooms on the fourth floor, taking up nearly the whole corridor. It was a small hotel, and rooms were divided up and shared amongst the team.

Havoc and Breda shared a room. Riza had her own room. Colonel Mustang had his own room, and Ed and Al shared a room. Envy was supposed to stay in the room with whoever was awake at the time. Mustang had suggested the team take it in turns, sleeping in shifts, but Al stepped up to the plate proverbially and told the team to rest up for the night. Al couldn’t sleep anyway, and as loathe as he was to spend time with the homunculus, supervising Envy for the night seemed the most sensible thing to do.

The lights were off, but the moonlight came in through the open window and kept the room softly lit, natural light and shadow creating a comforting atmosphere. Al could see everything clearly in the moonlight, it was perfect for supervision, but the supervising was a frustrating task.

Envy was incredibly distracting, and Al’s brother seemed to want the distraction.

“So hold still okay – I’m gonna try this meditating thing.”

Envy threw a pillow from one of the twin beds in the room at Ed, and it bounced off his face. Envy then proceeded to grab the second pillow and approached Ed holding the pillow like a weapon.

“I’m going to smother you with this pillow if you don’t stop. Pick an epitaph for your grave.”

“Ha ha, very funny.” Ed picked up the first pillow Envy threw then used it as a shield. He was sitting on the other twin bed opposite Envy, in his singlet and shorts, his hair out of its braid. Ed was smirking, tired, but amused.

“I’m not joking. Prepare to die Edward Elric.” Envy raised the pillow high in the air and put a foot on Ed’s chest to push him over. Ed then proceeded to whack Envy in the hip with the pillow he was holding, laughing, while Envy teetered over him bringing the soft cushion down on Ed’s head, making shooshing noises while pressing the pillow roughly against his face, not quite smothering him, but making enough of an effort for Al to be concerned.

Al sighed from the couch he was sitting on in the corner of the room. “Envy, can you not kill my brother and just go to sleep. You both have to be up in the morning.”

“Death first.” Envy gritted out, obviously putting effort into smothering Ed. Ed, however, had abandoned his pillow, and, seeking underhanded methods, began tickling Envy’s bared sides. Envy yelped and jumped away from Ed’s tickling fingers, pointing at Ed warily, and the blonde alchemist emerged from the pillows covering him, laughing, with mussed hair.

“You’re ticklish.”

“I am _not_!”

“Oh my god, you two, just go to sleep!” Al groaned, already over watching them pillow fight. Pillow fight!!!!

“I can’t sleep.” Envy replied, and sat down on the floor near Ed’s bed, legs crossed into their customary pretzel, hugging onto the murder pillow. “So bad luck for you, you’re stuck with me.”

“You can’t sleep?” Ed asked, curious.

“I can pretend, if that makes you feel any better.” Envy smirked up at Ed, who snorted, and pushed the hair out of his eyes.

“Yeah, I’m sure that would make me feel real comforted, knowing that you’re _faking_ sleep.”

“Fake it til you make it, right?” Envy quipped.

“Have you ever made it?” Ed asked.

“Not by choice.” Envy leaned back, waving their hands in the air, mimicking holding a remote. “Oooh, what does this button do? Dead.” Envy then drew their finger across their throat and fell back in a tumble of limbs, dramatically pretending to die.

Ed leaned over the edge of the bed and watched Envy lie on the floor with their tongue sticking out, eyes closed, hands gripping their throat.

“You don’t really die though, do you?”

“Can’t talk. I’m dead.” Envy said with their eyes still closed. “Ask again later.”

“I’m serious.” Ed laughed, then prodded Envy with his toe. “Hey, I’m serious. You don’t die, do you?”

“Not if you press the blue button.” Envy said, opening their eyes, but making no move to get up. “Red button’s a different story. I’m pretty sure _that’s classified_ but anyway.”

“That’s seriously fucked up.” Ed huffed, and rearranged on the bed, so he was lying on his belly, looking over the edge of the bed at Envy, who was still laying on the floor. “Seriously fucked up. Having a button that decides if you live or die. Having that crap hanging over your head.”

Envy blinked at Ed, and then fidgeted on the ground, wriggling like they were trying to get comfortable, before looking to the side, murmuring.

“Don’t let it get to you kid, it’s not like dying keeps me down for long.”

“I’m not a kid.” Ed’s words were a stubborn reflex, but his tone was still soft and contemplative.

Envy fidgeted again, clearly uncomfortable. Whether they were uncomfortable with the topic, or the sincere care Ed was conveying was anyone’s guess. They weren’t used to care. They were used to _not_ caring.

“Just go to sleep.” Envy said after squirming in silence for so long. “I’ll shut up.”

“Could you sleep if you want to, or is that just something you can’t do, like Al?” Ed said, ignoring Envy’s words.

“Sure, I could lay down with my eyes closed and disassociate for however long if I wanted.” Envy tsked and wriggled around until they put their feet on the metal frame of Ed’s bed. “I personally don’t see the appeal, but I could do it. If I wanted to.”

“You’re just that stubborn, eh?” Ed joked, and Envy kicked the metal of Ed’s bedframe. The move was casual but clearly the kick impacted hard enough to move the bed slightly, scraping the legs of the bed across the floor with a loud noise.

“Woops.” Envy said, referring to the noise. Ed, who was jostled by the move, looked over to the other side of the bed, which was at an angle now, and had dented the wall. Seeing the dent, he rolled back over to look down at Envy, still laying on the floor.

“Woops? You dented the wall. Jeez, just how strong are you?”

“Just do your clappy thing, no one will know it was ever dented.” Envy clapped twice, though it looked less like any alchemical form and more like Envy was summoning a butler.

“Why can’t you do it, secret agent?” Ed said mulishly.

“Alchemy isn’t my thing. You can do the clappy clappy.”

“I thought homunculus agents were _fancy specialist alchemists_.” Ed gestured quotations with his fingers. “Or is that a lie too?”

“Do I look fancy to you?” Envy stretched their arm out long enough to boop Ed on the nose, not bothering to sit up, before shrinking their arm back to its normal size. “Again with the flattery.”

Ed rubbed his nose, unimpressed, and looked down at the grinning homunculus. “Are you trying to get your ass kicked?”  

“I don’t have to try it comes effortlessly.” Envy said smugly, and clapped twice again.

“Stop doing the ‘clappy clappy’. That’s not even what its called, idiot.” Ed grumbled, pulling one of his pillows under his chest to get comfortable.

“Could be worse. Could be the draw a circle then clappy. But you know _the truth_.” Envy said casually, leaning back to pillow their arms behind their head nonchalantly, but the way their eyes slid over to watch Ed’s expression slyly indicated they knew exactly what they said.

They weren’t disappointed by Ed’s reaction. His eyes widened in realisation, before narrowing, intent. “How much exactly do you know?”

“What were you trying to get back?” Envy asked instead of answering, pushing for a reaction. And though Ed reacted, Envy for some reason didn’t find his reaction satisfying.

The curiosity and light in Ed’s eyes died and instead deep sadness and remorse flickered across his face. Envy felt a painful twinge in their chest just looking at Ed’s face, and they frowned, not liking the pain, not knowing why it was happening. Was it sympathy? Empathy? For a human?

“Our mother.” Ed finally answered, his voice low and hurting.

Envy’s eyes widened.

This hurt was back again. The twinge in their chest. What the hell was it?

“You know what the cruel fucking irony of it was?” Ed turned on the bed, now looking up at the ceiling, his automail arm curled into a tight fist. “We found out two years ago that we lost everything, Al’s body, my leg, bringing her back – and what we brought back wasn’t even her. We lost everything creating a monster, an abomination, and it wasn’t our mother.”

Al watched Ed silently, though his silence was sombre, remembering painful memories.

“You could never have brought her back.” Envy said quietly. “It doesn’t work like that. Souls are something else, but when a body dies, and you don’t catch or store the soul, it dies for good.”

Ed laughed bitterly. “You know, when I found out, I was actually relieved. I dug up her grave and as soon as I found out, I called sensei. You saw her, she can alchemise with a clap too.”

“What did she try to bring back?” Envy asked solemnly, trying to be respectful.

“Her child. Stillborn, and it fucking tore her apart when it happened. She saw the truth trying to bring them back. She cried when I told her over the phone.”

Somehow Envy couldn’t imagine the imposing Izumi Curtis crying over anything, now that they’ve met her. She seemed too fierce for those emotions. It was hard to imagine her crying.

“She was relieved to know it. We both were. Meant we didn’t watch mum die twice. That’s something, at least.” Ed concluded bitterly.

“I –“ Envy started to speak, but struggled, finding it difficult to find words of comfort. “Yeah. Going through that more than once – it’s not-“

“Your siblings, they’re like you right? Sort of like you. With the whole regeneration thing.” Ed sounded like he was just realising what that meant. “You can relate.” Ed sounded horrified, turning around again and looking back down at Envy, who now wouldn’t meet Ed’s eye.

“Shit, you really can relate.” Ed realised, and frowned, concern etched over his features.

“Don’t talk to me about it.” Envy stubbornly looked away, crossed their arms and rolled over, now laying on their side, their back to Ed.

Though this meant Ed could see the circuitry running through Envy’s skin, the red circles on their shoulders, small glass capsules barely glinting under the skin, grafted in there. The skin around the circles was smooth as anything, but just at the edges of the circles there was scar tissue, warped around the shape of the metal holding the apparatus in place.

It just looked so painful. So invasive. So incredibly cruel, stark, staring Ed in the face hinting at what Envy had gone through in the lab.

Al was watching Envy curl up on their side, and felt a similar twinge of sympathy. The longer they spent with Envy the more they could admit that their whole set of circumstance was incredibly tragic. It didn’t mean Al liked Envy, but they felt for the strange homunculus.

Ed was torn. He wanted to somehow comfort Envy but he knew nothing could soothe the hurts, no doubt immeasurable hurts, that people had inflicted on them.

“Envy…” Ed begun, the concern was evident in his voice, and for some reason that made Envy’s back tense up, before they turned around, and bared their teeth at Ed like a warning.

“If you’re going to pity me, then don’t. Whatever they did to me or my siblings, I did back to them tenfold whenever I could. Don’t begin to think that I’m anything like you, soft caring humans.” Envy spat the words out like an insult, but it almost sounded like an endearment directed at Ed.

“Pfft.” Ed flapped his hand at Envy, the concerned expression gone now, replaced by his usual gruffly amused look he wore around Envy. If his expression was softened by fondness now, showing that care that Envy scorned, Ed didn’t mind. “Not that soft. Tough enough to deal with your crap anyway.”

“You think I’m lying?” Envy sat up, tilting their head at Ed, like they were a very difficult puzzle.

“Probably not, but you’re not that scary.” Ed joked, hoping to rile Envy out of their melancholy by baiting them.

Envy tilted their head the other way, considering Ed. Envy wasn’t sure if they wanted Ed to be scared of them or not. If they wanted, they could do a million things that would no doubt terrify Ed. It was actually tempting for a moment, to transform into something horrible, to do something horrible, just because they could. It was an instinct that twitched in the back of Envy’s mind. It was what they wanted to do to every commanding officer they’d ever had, every scientist in the lab, every human that had ever done them or their family ( _or their sister_ ) wrong.

But the thought of the fond amusement in Ed’s eyes turning to fear or disgust was something that Envy couldn’t bear, and the reason why eluded them still. It hurt their stomach, twisted it tightly, and Envy didn’t like it.

Envy hated pain.

So they settled for crossing their arms over their chest, transforming their tongue into a forked snake tongue, and poking it out at Ed, hissing, before turning their chin up at them stubbornly.

Ed cracked a smile, and shook his head fondly.

Envy looked back at Ed out of the corner of their eye and relaxed a little, seeing Ed smiling again. It soothed that dangerous itch in the back of their mind, placated it. They felt like a person and not the monster hiding under the surface.

Feeling bold, Envy let the red lightning crackle down their form and shifted into a long python with shiny purple scales. They began to slither up Ed’s bedpost, looping around the metal fixture at the foot of Ed’s bed.

“Go to sleep, pipsqueak.”

“Have I ever mentioned how fucking unnerving it is to see you speak as a snake?”

“I should do it more often then.” Envy quipped, before coiling around the frame several times, getting comfortable, and resting their head on their scaly body.

Ed huffed, squinting suspiciously at the snake at the end of his bed, who seemed content to just sit there, watching him. Ed mumbled to himself, something about how Envy could be creepy enough just by being themselves, and rearranged in bed until he was under the sheets and comfortable. He closed his eyes, settling down to sleep, and then peeked one eye open, an idea springing to mind.

Looking at Envy for a moment, seeing that the purple snake was still there, Ed brought his hands together over the covers and closed his eyes, concentrating. He stayed still like that for several minutes, focusing, before Envy’s voice rang out, loudly whispering, seemingly talking to Al.

“Does that look like normal human sleep? Do humans normally sleep like that?”

“Why are you asking me? If he’s sleeping, let him sleep.”

“That doesn’t look like sleep.”

“How would you know? You don’t even sleep. Hey!”

Al’s feet moving against the ground made hollow clanging noises as he tiptoed over to the bed, trying to grab the snake. Ed felt movement on his sheets, and opened both of his eyes, squinting, to find the purple snake now coiled on top of his chest, staring him down, flicking its tongue at him.

“You better not be meditating.”

The crash of Al reaching to grab the snake, Ed jumping up in surprise, headbutting Al’s armour, and Envy transforming back into their usual form to escape Al’s snake wrangling attempt meant Ed consequently fell out of the bed, taking Envy and Al with them, and the accompanying yelling was loud enough for the Colonel to hear it two rooms down, waking him up.

Sitting groggily upright, clutching his covers, Roy squinted at the wall to the left of him, and muttered.

“One night of good sleep, that’s all I want. One. Goddamn. Night.”


	13. Chapter 13

 

_He who trusts in his riches will fall, But the righteous will flourish like the green leaf._  
_Proverbs 11:28_

 

**_Chapter 13_ **

Instead of the bright and early start the unit was promised yesterday, the majority of the unit needed at least another hour to sleep in following the raucous events of the evening. After taking breakfast downstairs in the hotel, and many many cups of coffee for Colonel Mustang, they were ready to hit the streets and begin investigating.

It was Breda’s idea to wait until evening to visit the Devil’s Nest, given most of the patrons wouldn’t be there of a daytime, so they were visiting the farmer’s market first to see exactly what was happening with these ritualistically butchered animals.

Riza, Roy, Havoc and Breda split up, each talking to a different stall owner at the farmers market, to cover more ground. Ed and Al were supposed to be quizzing stall owners as well, but Envy was making things difficult. So difficult Al had given up supervising and had instead struck up conversation with a very lovely girl who was selling an assortment of homemade jams, having ditched Ed to deal with Envy.

Walking along the far end of the field, alongside the various pens and enclosures housing different livestock for sale, Ed had to practically pull Envy away from the gates of the pens.

“No, but I could infiltrate! It’d be hilarious.”

“You are not infiltrating the goddamn cattle, just because you’re bored.”

“I could cause a stampede, how funny would that be. Everyone scrambling and screaming.” Envy rubbed their hands together, cackling.

“Now I know how Mustang feels.” Ed gripped Envy by the wrist and tugged them away from the animal pens. “You’re like a toddler. A misbehaving toddler.”

“You yank a toddler around by the wrist like that and you’d get arrested Fullmetal.” Envy snarked, tugging their wrist back stubbornly. Red lightning crackled around their wrist, teasing a transformation, and Envy was grinning, mischief in their eyes. “I wonder how loud I’d need to yell for people to come running. Help! Help! The bad man is taking me away!”

“The bad man is getting tired of your bullshit. You want a fucking time out?” Ed threatened, still pulling Envy by the wrist.

“If you’re giving it to me, sure.” Envy laughed.

Ed blanched, realising how suggestive that sounded, and let go of Envy’s wrist sharply. Envy leant forward, curiously looking at Ed’s expression.

“What’s that face for?” Envy asked, open curiosity staring out through purple eyes.

“You – just –“ Ed spluttered, too flustered to form words, before he turned and marched forward. “Never mind.”

This time Envy didn’t need to be dragged along, they followed Ed, quick steps catching up with the blonde alchemist quickly, until Envy was in front of Ed, walking backwards, keeping pace with them.

“You humans are fascinating. No idea how you work. I say one thing, you say another, suddenly it’s red faces and funny walking for miles. A mystery.”

“My face isn’t red.” Ed protested.

“But you’re walking like this.” Envy mimicked Ed’s robotic movements, right down to the facial expression, serious and abrupt, before returning to their casual backwards walking, swinging their arms as they continued on. “More like a metal man than usual. Though what is the usual amount of metal man you are? Is it a fifth? Two fifths? What’s the limb to metal ratio? I’m counting everything from the neck up as another limb, because imagine making that out of metal. Hah!”

“I worry for you when you open your mouth.” Ed said. “Which you do. All the time.”

“I’m personable like that.” Envy crossed their arms behind their head, and continued walking backwards.

“Literally no one would have used that word to describe what you are.”

“How would you describe me then, oh fabled child prodigy?”  

“I’m not gonna stand here and stroke your ego.” Ed scoffed.

“Maybe it’s not about that.” Envy said, and for a second they seemed nervous. “Maybe I’m just genuinely curious to know what you think of me?”

Ed watched Envy, and saw, with some surprise, the way they seemed almost shy now, something Ed would never have expected from the homunculus. Before he could open his mouth to reply, Envy flung their arms out.

“Actually, you know what. Don’t tell me. I’m happier not knowing.”

“Hmm.” Ed hummed, realising something. He smirked now, a knowing smile, and kept walking. Envy continued in step in front of Ed, walking backwards, trying to figure out what Ed was so smug about.

“Now another mystery face. You’re really impossible, short stack.”

“I think I’m beginning to get a pretty decent picture of who you are now.” Was all Ed said, still looking smug.

A defensive expression crept across Envy’s face, and for a moment they looked scared, before they settled for frowning at Ed.

“Yeah, well, you only see what I want you to see. You’re not as clever as you think you are.”

“Is that so?” Ed asked, clearly amused.

“In fact, with my 400 plus years of experience I’d say you’re thoroughly out-clevered.”

“There’s a hay bale behind you.”

With a squawk Envy toppled over the hay bale, and landed on the body of a strange man passed out amongst the hay.

Ed peered over the top of the hay bale, the superior smirk already plastered on his features, but he blinked in surprise when he saw Envy sitting on the lap of a passed out foreign gentleman with long black hair.

The man groaned in pain, like Envy was crushing them.

Envy didn’t move from their position sitting on top of the man, and instead pointed at them, looking back up at Ed.

“Hey, I found something.”  

The man was still groaning loudly, but made no move to push Envy off them. Ed waved at Envy to move and Envy reluctantly crawled off the man. Ed crossed around to the other side of the hay bale and offered his hand to the man to help him up, finally getting a good look at him.

With his long black ponytail and Xingese features, there was no doubt about it that Envy had literally stumbled over the gentleman from the bar that sensei was talking about. The man seemed about Ed’s age, thin, but built with enough muscle. He was groaning and holding his stomach, muttering something about his organs.

“They’ll grow back.” Envy said, now crouched next to the Xingese fellow, watching him sit up but making no move to help him.

“How long have you been sitting in the hay like this?” Ed asked. “Did you pass out here or something? Are you okay?”

“Ahh, I haven’t eaten all day.” Groaned the man, rubbing his belly and looking pitiful. “So hungry.”

“We’re right next to the farmers market. I’m sure you could get some food there.” Ed suggested, and then realised the perfect opportunity to work the guy for information. “Did you want to join us for lunch? We were just about to get some ourselves.”

“Mmm, yes please.” Nodded the man, and he sprung up, regaining his energy remarkably quickly at the mention of food. “Thank you.”

“No problem buddy.” Ed clapped the guy on the back, leading him over to the food stalls at the market. “No problem at all.”

* * *

 

If Ed hadn’t had the heads up from his sensei that there was something suspicious about the Xingese man, he could have probably figured out that something wasn’t quite right with the guy.

After watching Ling (he had introduced himself before they sat down to lunch) eat four steak and kidney pies, two tubs of potato salad, one healthy portion of strudel, and one and a half fruit tarts in twenty minutes, Ed was willing to bet good money that Ling wasn’t human.

Ed tried prompting conversation with Ling, but the way Envy seemed to grow gradually more and more disgusted every time Ling spoke with his mouth open meant conversation dwindled while Ling ate. It had reached the point where Ed and Envy were just staring at Ling practically inhaling food, with a mixture of disdain and fascination.

Belching and rubbing his belly, letting out a satisfied sigh as he finished off the other half of the fruit tart, Ling seemed to be slowing on his culinary rampage a little.

“Ahhh, that was delicious. I haven’t had a meal like that for a while.”

“I don’t think anyone’s ever had a meal like that. What was that? Ten meals?” Ed probed. “You looked like you hadn’t eaten for days. I gotta ask. Why were you laying in the field in the first place?”

“Mmm.” Ling rubbed his chin. “I thought it was a good idea at the time. Stargazing with my new friends was a nice distraction.”

“Stargazing? With…your new friends?” Ed looked over to the field where several docile looking cows still grazed.

“I heard there was something going on at the farmer’s market yesterday, but I got the day wrong, so I thought I’d poke around for a bit. Everyone’s so nice here in Amestris.” Ling enthused. “Even the cattle are so friendly.”

Ed seemed baffled by Ling’s personality, though his sunny optimism was charming. Part of Ed couldn’t shake the thought that this optimism was mostly an act. No one was that wholesome, especially not passed out in a haybale.

“When did you come to Amestris exactly?”

“Ohh, about two years ago.”

“And you’re from Xing? Is that right?” Ed couldn’t help it. Years of running point as state alchemist for Roy’s investigations unit made interrogation almost second nature to him. He was trying to keep it casual, but he was pretty sure he sounded like law enforcement right now.

If Ling noticed, he didn’t say anything. He kept smiling, answering the questions blithely.

“That’s right. I’ve been back and forth between Xing and Amestris a couple of times since I first travelled here, but I have business I need to attend to in Dublith.”

“Huh.” Ed leaned back on his chair. “Back and forth? Don’t you have to cross the desert to do that? Go back and forth all the time?”

“The trip gets easier with practise. It’s dangerous, you can pass out in the desert if you’re not careful.”

Ed raised his eyebrow. Of course, it seemed Ling would know all about passing out, whether in the desert or in rural Dublith.

“Is that why you passed out here? Have you just got back from travelling?”

“Oh no.” Ling shook their head. “I’ve been here for a couple of months now.”

“Do you not have a place to stay?” Ed puzzled, still trying to work out why Ling was asleep in a hay bale.

“I do have a place to stay, but I’m trying to avoid a couple of people, and I thought no one would think to look for me in the hay with the cows.” Ling grinned almost sheepishly.

“Who are you avoiding?” Envy rested their chin on their hand, speaking up for the first time in the conversation, their words abrupt.

“Ahahahahaha.” Ling laughed, and waved his hand in the air. “No one in particular. Sometimes you just need a bit of space.”

“Space from who?” Envy pressed, tactless but persistent.

“I’m getting the feeling that you’re cops.” Ling assumed, nodding and pointing at the two of them. “You’re cops, right?”

Envy pulled a face, disliking the association, meanwhile Ed’s back straightened up, and he rubbed behind his neck, laughing loudly.

“Hah, what makes you think that?”

“Well.” Ling met Ed’s gaze with a level, serious expression that seemed out of place on his cheerful face. “You’ve been asking a lot of questions, and judging from the symbol on your coat I’m going to assume you’re an alchemist. There’s only one reason an alchemist would travel with someone like that-“ He pointed at Envy, who looked surprised. “So maybe I should be asking you what brings you to Dublith?”

Envy and Ed shared a look for a moment, silent communication on how to proceed.

Envy squinted at Ling. “Do you know who I am?”

“No, but I’m familiar with what you are. I can sense it. You’re like him.” Ling tilted his head at Envy, considering. “But from what he’s told me, the rest of his siblings are no better than glorified lapdogs for the military. So what’s got you roaming off leash, _dog_?”

Envy seemed shocked, taken aback for a second, before a laugh bubbled up out of them.

“You did not just say that to me.” They gripped the table, moving to stand, but Ed’s hand shot out, wrapping around Envy’s forearm.

“Who’s _he_?” Ed questioned Ling.

Envy turned to look down at Ed, their expression conflicted, disdain mixing with an odd nostalgia.

“Don’t bother Fullmetal. He’s not who we’re looking for. We may as well turn back from this entire investigation now, rather than waste our time with that traitor.”

“So you are investigating him?” Ling clarified, sitting back in his chair. His coat opened with the movement, showing the sword strapped to Ling’s hip, casual but threatening.

“Ugh.” Envy scowled. “Not everything is about him. Looks like his head has only gotten bigger.”

Ed tugged on Envy’s wrist, trying to get them to sit back down. “Who’s him?”

“He’s even got you doing his dirty work for him too.” Envy gestured to Ling, pointing at the sword. “It’s embarrassing, aren’t you ashamed? What, are you working for him? Is that how he phrased it? Is your self worth that low? I’m guessing so, since he probably found you on the street. Does he own you, like a pet, like a _dog_?”

Ling raised his eyebrows at Envy’s vitriolic comments, but crossed his arms over his chest, his jacket falling back over his sword.

“We’re business partners. _Equals_. I want something from him, and he wants something from me. We’re not the ones being treated like dogs.”

Envy sneered at Ling, and shook off Ed’s hand, still standing.

“Equals. What a joke.” They muttered.

Ling and Envy glowered at each other, the tension building between them. Ed, frustrated that his questions were being ignored, raised his voice now.

“Hey. I’ll keep asking. Who’s him? And you, who are you hiding from? I’m getting tired of being ignored like this.”

Envy looked away from Ling first, breaking the stare down to look to Ed. Frowning, Envy considered not answering, but Ed’s expression seemed confused enough as it was, and ignorance wasn’t a good look for the blonde alchemist. They opened their mouth to answer Ed, but then turned to look at Ling.

“Who _are_ you hiding from? If you’re supposedly equals with my brother, why run?”

“I’m not running from him.” Ling stuck his chin out stubbornly, and crossed his arms, looking decidedly immature. “If you must know I’m conducting an investigation of my own. Hiding out with the cows was by choice, in case I could spot the person who’s been stealing them.”

Ed sat forward in his chair, gesturing with his hands. “Hey, sounds like you’re here doing the same thing we are. We’re on the same side. There’s no need to – Envy sit down already! There’s no need to fight.”

Envy grumbled to themselves but reluctantly sat down in the chair next to Ed, crossing their arms sulkily. They then also crossed their legs. At least they seemed to be winding down a little.

Ling surveyed the homunculus warily, then what appeared to be a note of sadness crept into his features.

“He misses you guys, you know?”

Envy looked up at this, and seemed shocked.

“He’d never say it outright, but I can tell.” Ling continued.

Envy stared at Ling, something searching in their expression. Envy wasn’t sure what it was about Ling’s wistful tone, but it reminded them of someone else.

“You could tell what Envy was straight away, couldn’t you?” Ed surmised, pulling one of the fruit tarts on the table over towards him. “How did you do that? Was it a technique? Like meditating?”

Envy rolled their eyes and flicked leftover pastry crumbs across the table at Ed petulantly.

“It’s not meditating, it becomes second nature almost when you can read the Dragon’s Pulse. The flow of chi through the body. It’s one of the key tenants of alkahestry.”

“You’re an alkahestrist?” Ed said excitedly, having always wanted to meet an alkahestrist. Alkahestry’s medical alchemy was one of the potential leads he and Al had always wanted to pursue in regards to getting their bodies back.

Ling laughed loudly for a second, before smiling wide. “Nope, not me!”

Ed banged his forehead on the table. Sitting up and rubbing his temples, feeling an awful lot like the Colonel when utterly frustrated, Ed asked. “Well, what are you?”

“Aha.” Ling replied, a sparkle in his eye. He put his hand under his chin and struck a dashing pose. “I… am a prince.”

Ed snorted, and then whacked a hand over his mouth, muffling his laughter.

“What’s so funny?” Envy asked, curious, and Ling seemed perplexed.

“Sorry, sorry – it’s just hilarious, picturing you in the crown and the puffy pants acting like a royal.” Ed managed to explain in between giggles.

“I am a royal though.” Ling blinked. “I’m the twelfth crown prince of Xing, and son of the Emperor.”

“Yeah right, and what’s the twelfth crown prince of Xing doing hiding out in the hay in some backwater farmers market in Dublith?” Ed scoffed. “Why wouldn’t you be back in Xing, ordering your servants around or eating fancy cakes?”

“Well, I brought my servants with me the first time I came to Amestris, but this time I came back on my own.” Ling said.

“Runaway prince, huh?” Ed laughed. “That’s even more ridiculous and romantic than before. Al would love this kind of story.”

“Emphasis on the run away.” Ling laughed. “They haven’t caught me so far though!”

“Why would you run away?” Ed frowned. “I don’t get it.”

“Eh, in between the clans there’s quite a bit of competition and infighting regarding inheritance. The Emperor has fourty three heirs at this point in time. Twenty-four princes and nineteen princesses. The Emperor is dying, and each of the clans have been looking for ways to prolong the Emperors life to win favour for succession. Some turn to advanced alkahestry, some turn to medicine, but I think you both know there’s something far more potent in Amestris that carries true immortality.”

“The Philosopher’s stone.” Ed frowned and then looked at Envy. “So you thought you’d come looking for –“

“I found immortality.” Ling replied proudly. “Now I just have to make it share.”

Envy, who had been following the conversation quietly, raised their eyebrows at this, and then – realising what Ling was saying, burst out laughing.

“Oh that’s rich. That really is. That’s so hilariously misguided I can’t even begin to explain how stupid you are. And you _are_ stupid.”

Ed looked at Envy, puzzled, watching the homunculus wipe the corner of their eye still laughing.

“What?” Ed questioned, frustrated by so much of this conversation flying over his head.

“My brother is Greed, and this bozo wants to make him share.” Envy pointed at Ling, who looked mildly affronted by Envy’s assumption that he couldn’t make him do it. “Make Greed share. He wants to make Greed share?? Greed doesn’t share.”

“Well, it’s been a while since you’ve seen your brother, hasn’t it.” Ling pointed out coolly. “People change.”

“We don’t.” Envy asserted, referring to their kind.

“Everyone changes.” Ling insisted. “It’s the one thing that’s always inevitable. People can change for the better.”

“Listen.” Ed started, tenting his hands together. “Maybe we could work together. You could help us out. We’re looking for the same thing you are, the culprit of these butchering’s. You should take us along with you this evening, back to the Devil’s Nest. You _are_ going back there, right?”

“And take you with me? I wouldn’t –“

Ling then seemed to doubletake in his chair, hearing something sound out in the distance. Ling looked at Ed and Envy, before standing up from the table, talking quickly. “Sorry to dine and dash. Thanks for taking care of the bill. I can’t say it was a pleasure to meet you, but it certainly was interesting.”

“What do you mean, taking care of the bill?” Ed exclaimed loudly, while at the same time Envy said.

“Hey, where are you going? Get back here.”

“Gotta run! Best wishes homunculus and friend! See you again soon!”

With uncanny agility, Ling sprung up on top of the table and jettisoned up into the air, running, light on his feet, swiftly across the top of the tents in the farmer’s market’s, taking off into the city. He disappeared into the town before Ed and Envy could give chase and follow.

Ed sprung out of his seat, ready to bolt after Ling, but the owner of the establishment caught Ed by the arm.

“Sir, are you going to pay for this?”

He handed Ed the bill for the sumptuous meal Ling had just consumed, and Ed felt the colour drain from his face looking at the figure he owed.

“Ugh. Let me… write you a check.”

* * *

 

When the unit convened after their preliminary investigations, they shared the information they gathered about the animal kidnappings back at the hotel.

“So far we can cross out financial sabotage from the animal kidnappings. No one farmer was targeted specifically, it seems to have been spread out across the district.” Breda stated, chewing on one of the vanilla cakes from the kind old lady who run one of the stalls at the market.

“We don’t have a concrete ID on who keeps stealing the livestock either.” Havoc added, taking another cake from the huge pile on the table before him. “It seems to be multiple culprits, the descriptions don’t match up. One farmer thought he saw a thin man take the cow, another farmer claims some sort of monster took his sheep with a crocodile’s tail. Wasn’t sure how legit that ID was, but the man swears up and down it was a monster, and we don’t really know what we’re dealing with here.”

“Envy, how likely is it that we might encounter some such thing?” Roy asked, rubbing his chin considering.

“How should I know?” Envy snorted, and crossed his legs, sitting on the floor by the wall. “I wasn’t there.”

Roy pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m not asking you if you were there. I’m asking if it’s possible or impossible that some kind of creature kidnapped the animals.”

Envy shrugged, and tapped their fingers against their knee, thinking. “It’s not impossible. It’s not like it doesn’t exist just because you haven’t seen it yet.”

“Still.” Breda scratched his stubble, considering seeing a creature like the farmer described with a mild shudder. “Crocodile monsters, creatures made of eyes and shadows. It wasn’t so long ago that I thought there was no such thing myself.”

Envy was quiet for a moment, looking at the ground, before they spoke in a low voice. “Yeah, well, there’s no such thing as no such thing.”

Roy considered this, before nodding to Riza, who was copying down the information they’d encountered into her report. “Note that down, we have multiple potential kidnappers, not all of them necessarily human. This heightens the likeliness that these butchering’s and our investigation are correlated.”

“I managed to get a few more details about the arrays found at the crime scenes.” Al spoke up. “The girl I was speaking to selling the jams found one of the bodies. Her dog, who had been missing for a week.”

“Poor girl.” Havoc shook his head with a sigh, and bit into the vanilla cake.

“What happened to it?” Riza asked, her gaze steely. She had no sympathy for any creature who would hurt someone’s dog.

“It seems like it had been experimented on almost.” Alphonse said, sounding mildly disgusted as he recounted the information. “It’s teeth were all missing, as were it’s claws, and she found it sliced open, it’s intestines spread out around it in a circle.”

“The cattle were found in a similar state, with entrails placed around it in a similar fashion.” Roy noted. “Though they were missing horns.”

“So parts were taken, in every instance?” Breda asked. “Why the circle of intestines though, that makes no sense. Is it a smokescreen for the taken parts?”

“More likely some sicko gets his jollies off from making a scene.” Havoc said with cake in his mouth.

“Though we are dealing with multiple perpetrators so it’s possible there’s some sort of cult involved.” Roy considered. “Do you think we’ll find answers at this Devil’s Nest?”

“About our investigation or this one?” Breda asked.

“From what we found out from Ling, he’s investigating the same thing as we are. We could find answers either way.” Ed piped up, standing leaning against the wall next to Envy. “That is if there’s anyone in the bar when we get there. Ling could have mentioned that we’re coming.”

“We’ll have to be prepared for that then.”

“These animal murders.” Al asked, voicing his theory. “They all are linked by the ouroboros, yes? Carved between the eyes or drawn with the intestines. What do you think that means?”

Roy rolled his shoulders and got up from his chair, commanding the team.

“Let’s go find out.”


	14. Chapter 14

_I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you._   
_Luke 10:19_

**Chapter 14**

  


 

The Devil’s Nest was a hole in the wall, down the back streets of the ‘bad’ end of Dublith. Apart from the sign above the door indicating it was a pub, it didn’t look all that inviting.

The group filed into the bar, already conspicuous looking. They wore their plainclothes, but it was obvious comparing their attire to the other patrons of the bar that they didn’t belong. They looked too polished, not rough enough. Not enough tattoos.

A bulky man behind the counter was polishing a glass, and he looked up as the unit entered, flaring his nostrils. The bartender was broad, built wide like Sig, with a strong brow and grey hair.

Roy took a seat up near the bar and signalled for a double scotch.

The bartender flared his nostrils again. He looked to the blonde woman sitting at the bar alongside Mustang, who slightly shook her head.

“Sorry.” The bartender said. “We don’t serve military here.”

“We’re off duty.” Mustang insisted, laying on the charm.

“There is no off duty for military dogs.” The bartender spat out, before looking over to the side to one of his other patrons. “No offence Dolcetto.”

The man, Dolcetto, flipped his middle finger up at the bartender, laughing, before taking a sip of his drink. “Chew on that Roa.”

The man, Roa, sniggered, before he put the glass he was polishing on the counter. “Why don’t you tell us why you came here, ask your questions, and leave. You didn’t come here for a drink.”

“Pour us a drink anyway.” Roy urged, waving Havoc to come join him on the bar stool. “We can multitask. You wouldn’t believe the week we’ve had.”

“Hmm.” Roa seemed to consider them, watching Havoc pull out a cigarette and light it, watching Breda sit down at one of the tables next to Riza, unbuttoning his coat like he intended to come in and relax.

“Fine.” He said, reaching for the bottle of scotch, pouring a glass for Roy. “But drinks will cost you double, since you can afford it.”

Roy smiled appreciatively and waved the rest of his men in to settle down. Ed, Alphonse, and Envy squeezed in the door of the bar, having been waiting in the corridor, and made to sit down at one of the tables.

Roa pointed at Ed. “You can’t bring kids in here, we don’t serve underage patrons.”

“I’m not underage!” Ed squawked indignantly. “I’m nineteen!”

Al chose to quietly not disclose his age. He wasn’t allowed to be in bars like this but was somewhat intrigued by being here. It was for the sake of the mission.

“You look young for nineteen.” Roa commented, raising his eyebrow at Ed, while Dolcetto and the blonde woman snickered amongst themselves at Ed’s reaction.

“I’m older than him!” Ed jerked his thumb at Al, who cut an imposing figure, tall in his armour.

Roa grunted, before casting an assessing look at Envy, who also looked young, slightly shorter than Ed, back in their androgynous skirt/crop top combo, looking mildly amused.

“And how old are you?”

“About 500 years, give or take.” Envy replied coolly and slid down onto one of the benches by the tables, drumming their fingers on the surface of the wood impatiently. Havoc shot Envy a chastising look that Envy caught, before rolling their eyes, capitulating. “Would 18 work?”

“No drinks for you.” Roa decided, going back to bringing glasses out for the patrons, filling them with house brew.

“Fine. It’s not like I wanted any.” Envy pouted, and crossed their arms, resting them on the table before pillowing their chin in them. Ed slid along the bench, sitting beside Envy, and Al sat opposite them.

The bar patrons snickered again, and the tension seemed to dissipate naturally. Roy was chatting away up at the bar, putting the bartender and his patrons at ease, and Havoc and Breda joined in the conversation, playing the room.

Riza sat on the table Havoc and Breda sat at, but her back was to the wall, watching everything.

Ed, Al, and Envy all sat at the same table, watching Roy’s chatter calm the patrons down. Alphonse was mildly impressed by the Colonel’s charisma, but Ed snorted, and went up to the bar to get himself a beer. He returned to the table with it, and sipped it, the bitter stout quite delicious. Envy was watching Ed curiously, and Ed slid the drink across to Envy.

“Do you want a sip?”

“Am I allowed?” Envy asked sarcastically. Before Ed could answer, or clarify, Envy took a rebellious sip anyway, before pulling a sour expression, shoving the drink back at Ed. “Oh, that’s awful. God, you’re all disgusting.”

Ed chuckled, and watched Envy wipe their tongue on the back of their hand, amused by the homunculus’ dramatics. Envy generally didn’t like any of the food or drink the rest of the team consumed, so Ed wasn’t sure why Envy wanted to try beer in the first place. Probably just to prove a point.

Ed sipped at his beer and smiled at Envy’s pout, chuckling again.

The game plan was to work the bar for information subtly about the animal murders, and Mustang and Havoc were to take point on this mission, as subtlety wasn’t Envy’s forte. Ed and Al were on babysitting duty, and Riza was assessing the situation, ready to escalate should escalation be necessary.

After finding out that Ling had likely warned away Greed, the team didn’t expect the other homunculus to be in the bar, but the goal was to frequent it anyway, and work over the regulars for whatever information they could eek from them. Roy was working the room, getting the bar patrons to relax, befriending them for the most part. It seems that the bartender was ex-military, which was all he would say on the matter, but they bonded over the stresses Roy’s pseudo-fictitious superiors were putting on him, and Havoc even started up a casual flirtation with the blonde tattooed lady sitting along the bar, which seemed to amuse her.

After about twenty minutes, the room had warmed up significantly, Breda toasting his glass with Dolcetto at the end of the bar, Havoc offering his cigarettes to the woman, whose name was Martel, and Roy chatting up a storm with Roa the bartender, who had served in Ishval back in the day. The whole team were relaxed, working the information and making connections with the bar patrons successfully.

No one anticipated the rogue homunculus walking boldly through the front entrance of the bar about twenty-five minutes into the mission, with Ling by his side.

“So then I said, fuckin – Roa!” Greed called out, holding two fingers up, ordering his drinks. “Lay ‘em out. So then I said –“

Greed was a tall man, with muscular arms and spiky hair. He wore leather, sporting a black short sleeved jacket with fur at the collar, circular sunglasses in front of his eyes, and he had a toothpick between his rather pointed teeth. He gestured with his hands while he spoke, and on the back of his left hand was an ouroboros tattoo.

Ed didn’t miss the way Envy’s shoulders tensed when they heard their sibling’s voice. Ed could only imagine how long it had been since they last heard it. Envy had been tense and distant all evening, lost in thought for the most part, but trying to be their usual self, acting casual. It was the little details that Ed picked up on, the small things about Envy’s casual act that seemed contrived. They were better a better actor than this usually, but Ed could see the strain, Envy’s anxiety leaking through all evening. Ed had been joking around with Envy more, trying to calm their anxiety with humour. Seeing their brother obviously had them conflicted, despite how much they insisted they wanted to find them.

Trying to be subtle, at least for Envy, they kept their head down, pillowed in their arms, but Al saw those vibrant purple eyes look up straight away when Greed entered the bar.

Ling noticed Ed and Envy before Greed did, the rogue homunculus still caught up in telling his story. Ling interrupted Greed to bend over and wave at Ed in a welcoming manner.

“It’s my friends from the market! Hello friends.”

Ling and Greed’s sudden entry into the bar had everyone thrown, this wasn’t part of the expected plan for the night.

Greed turned to look at where Ling was waving and his eyes met with Envy’s straight away, and he sprang back dramatically, pointing and yelling.

“AHH!” He then pointed to Roa behind the bar. “What did you let that thing in here for?”

“Who are you calling that thing?” Envy sprung up from their seat, glaring at Greed competitively.

Roy froze, turning around from the bar to assess the situation. So much for staying inconspicuous. Not half an hour into their mission and the homunculus had already blown their cover.

He shared a glance with Riza, who already had her hand on her pistol under her coat, ready to escalate the situation if need be. They had their prime suspect, the rogue homunculus, right in front of them, and Roy didn’t want Envy’s lack of restraint to scare their suspect off before they made any progress.

He needn’t have worried.

Greed wasn’t scared.

Leaning back, laughing raucously, Greed pointed at Envy, belly laughing at the homunculus. “HAH HAH HAH HAH! HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!”

Ed watched cautiously, holding his beer, as Envy seemed to get more and more worked up, their expression becoming more frustrated by the second, their hands clenched into fists as Greed continued to laugh at them.

Gritting their teeth Envy spoke up in a tense low voice. “What are you laughing at?”

“Who let you out of your cage? Some kind of moron?” Greed wiped the corner of his eye and exhaled mirthfully. “Whooo. That’s really funny. Envy. It’s been a while.”

Envy narrowed their eyes, and made to move towards Greed, promising violence with their expression.

“Envy.” Roy called out, halting the homunculus in their tracks.

Envy growled low in their throat, that air of violence still lingering, but stopped, turning their head back to scowl at Mustang.

“Looks like they’ve got you on a leash instead.” Greed mused, rubbing his chin, walking over to his sibling. “How nice of the military, to let their dogs have pets too.”

“Rrrgh.” Ignoring Roy’s censure, and the way Ed stood up from the table, Envy sprang across the room, their arms stretching out like rubber to wrap around Greed’s throat, strangling him.

Envy knocked Greed to the floor, landing on his chest, throttling their brother, snarling all the while.

“How nice to see you Greed.” Envy snarled mockingly into his brother’s face, squeezing his windpipe with gusto. “It’s been a while. You’re just as much of a _jerk_ as I remember!”

Wheezing laughter until blood spat up from between his lips, Greed grinned right back. He brought his hand up to push against Envy’s chest, a dark grey coating creeping over the skin of his arm, sharpening his fingers into claws.

“And you’re just as heavy as I remember.” Greed coughed up more blood as Envy squeezed his neck tighter until something snapped. “Guh!”

“Envy, stop!” Roy and the rest of the unit rushed over to halt the fight, pulling their weapons out as a precaution, pointing their pistols at Envy.

Ed blanched, hearing the crack, fearing that Envy had just killed their own brother in cold blood right in front of everyone, and was about to be neutralised in a rain of bullets.

Envy let go of Greed’s neck only to grab the ruff of Greed’s fluffy jacket, slapping his face with relentless, brutal blows. “I come all this way to see you and for what? What good are you to me?”

“Envy!” Ed called out, watching the homunculus backhand their brother relentlessly. He could hear Envy’s voice breaking as the homunculus spoke, hurt and rage flowing freely. Alphonse stood, holding his brother back, not wanting to have Ed involve himself in this when it seemed so dangerous.

Ling and the other patrons from the bar did nothing, standing still, watching the events unfold. Alphonse thought it was strange that none of them had rushed over to break up the fight, but when the red lightning began to crackle over Greed, Al figured out why.

The lightning healed Greed’s spine, and he clicked his neck back into place, staring up at Envy.

“You don’t know what I had to do, what happened to me. You left us! How dare you. You trash! How dare –“ Envy raised their hand up to smack Greed again.

Greed caught Envy’s swing with his armoured hand and wore an uncannily serious expression.

“Envy. Daddy-sir wouldn’t want us to fight.”

Envy sucked in a sharp breath and recoiled from Greed, snatching their hand back, releasing Greed’s jacket and dropping him roughly on the ground.

“Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.” Greed winced, and rubbed the back of his head. “Okay, you’ve said your piece. Now get off me already. I think you’ve crushed my ribs, ow, ow, ow.”

“Tch.” Standing up, Envy got off Greed, but not before levelling a swift kick to their brother’s ribs. “You’re disgusting.”

“Oof.” Greed doubled over, then waved his arm at the Xingese prince as the red lightning did its work. “Oy, Ling, help me up.”

Envy walked back over to stand beside Ed, crossing their arms contemptuously. Ed watched Envy with caution, slightly reserved, unsure how he felt about Envy’s propensity for violence. How quickly Envy could snap.

Ed could relate sometimes too, considering his temper was on a hair trigger more often than not, but Ed would never hurt his own brother. That was something he didn’t understand.

Roy and the rest of the unit lowered their weapons, the need to intervene mitigated.

“If you’re both quite done.” Roy began.

“He started it.” Envy said, turning their chin up at their brother rather childishly.

“Well, stop it. Both of you.” Alphonse said sternly.

“We’re here to ask you a few questions.” Roy spoke up, flashing his certified State Alchemist pocket watch. “About a series of animal murders in and around the Dublith area.”

Greed stood up, red lightning still at work healing his injuries, leaning heavily on Ling’s shoulder. “Ho? I wondered when the military would stick their noses in on this.”

“So you do have information about the murders. You know what’s happening?” Breda questioned.

Martel spoke up over by the bar, sipping her whisky. “We know, but we’re not involved. We have our suspicions about what’s happening, and who is doing it, but we won’t be sharing our information with the military until we know what you’ll be doing with the information.”

“Well said Martel.” Greed grinned and slumped into a bar stool, hopping up onto it and tapping the counter of the bar impatiently. “Lay them out Roa, I’ve been waiting.”

“Why do you even drink that gross stuff anyway?” Envy asked, their nose wrinkling with disdain.

“Because I want to.” Greed grunted at Envy, and wiped the blood off his chin, reaching for the glass Roa laid out for him. “It’s that simple.”

Envy rolled their eyes at their brother’s avarice.

“We’re happy to share the information we can about the case if we have your cooperation.” Roy said diplomatically.

Roa and Dolcetto looked over to Greed, who waved his hand in assent, before Roa spoke. “Fine. But you go first.”

“Fine.” Roy replied, and gestured to Breda indicating he fill them in.

“We’re here investigating a series of murders in Central city. We feel there may be a link between the homicides we’ve been investigating and the –“ Breda looked over at Greed, noting the blood on the back of his hand as he sipped from his glass. “The animal murders here.”

“You came because of the ouroboros left at the crime scenes.” Greed snorted, and shook his head. “And this one brought you.”

Envy scoffed, and sat beside Ed at the table, drumming their fingers on the wood.

“Am I wrong?” Greed raised his eyebrow, looking at the uncertain expression Breda wore.

“You’re not wrong.” Roy answered for him. “We have reason to believe the homicides we’re investigating were conducted by someone who, in theory, bears the ouroboros tattoo.”

“You mean a homunculus.” Greed corrected Roy, and Roy inclined his head.

Greed swilled his cup of scotch pensively, before he gestured at Envy. “Judging from this one’s reaction, you weren’t looking for me.”

“We don’t know that yet.” Roy said, watching Greed carefully. “Did you have anything to do with the animal murders?”

Greed wrinkled his nose and shook his head. “No.”

“What about the other murders?” Havoc asked, sitting along the bar, watching the strange man who was sitting upright after a broken neck.

“Who else have I supposedly murdered?” Greed squinted at Havoc, before redirecting his gaze to Roy, who seemed to be more forthcoming with information.

“We have a list of murdered military personnel.” Roy revealed. “Generals, and men of higher rank, Lieutenant Generals.”

“How am I supposed to have killed these high-ranking Generals and Lieutenant Generals when this cosy little hideout is entirely to convince the military that I don’t exist? Do you think I just popped into Central, took the train in to the centre of military fuck-nowhere, and offed your people for kicks?” Greed rubbed his chin and shrugged. “As appealing as the thought may be, I’m more worried about your people offing my people – besides, you think I’d step one foot near your bigwigs when they did that to my family?”

He pointed his finger at Envy, the scotch glass still in his hand, and Envy scowled at their brother.

“Oh, what? We’re family now?”

“Can the attitude, Ugly.”

Envy lunged abruptly across the table at Greed and was halted only by Ed’s hand on their shoulder.

“Don’t call me ugly.” Envy snarled.

“Even without all that shit on your back, you’ve always been ugly.” Greed grinned at his sibling, enjoying riling them up. “Ugly Envy, the most grotesque of us all.”

Envy growled, a low, guttural noise that surprised Ed, sounded more like some sort of monster’s voice than Envy’s.

Ed was surprised, shocked by the way the siblings talked to each other. For one, he couldn’t imagine he and Al ever talking to one another like that, but additionally, Ed didn’t think Envy was ugly. Quite the opposite. Whatever Envy was, as reluctant as Ed was to admit it, he found Envy rather attractive, and he really couldn’t see where Greed’s assessment of Envy was coming from.

Greed’s words seemed to be affecting Envy though. Their posture was tense, like they were seconds away from leaping across the table and breaking Greed’s neck again, just for good measure.

Havoc, Breda and Riza were all eyeing Envy warily now, Riza’s hand hovering over her firearm. The noises Envy made were terrifying, and it seemed the only thing tethering Envy to humanity, or at least compliance, was the way Ed kept his hand on Envy’s shoulder, holding them back.

“Can you two stop fighting? We’re working together on this thing.” Ed urged, looking at Envy in askance.

“No, no, keep going.” Ling hopped onto a barstool and leaned across to snag Greed’s drink from him. “This is very entertaining. Try to bash his head in again, that bit’s my favourite.”

“Oy. Whose side are you on?” Greed shot Ling a look, but surprisingly did nothing to stop the Xingese prince from stealing his liquor.

“Whoever’s side gets me what I want quickest.” Ling shrugged, and grinned at Greed, before downing the scotch, slamming the empty glass down in front of the homunculus.

Greed looked down at the empty glass with a slight frown, and gave Ling a sour look, before shaking his head and waving his hand at Roa for another glass.

Envy glared at their brother, but Ling’s interference diffused the tension enough for Envy to notice the way Ed was tugging on their shoulder.

Envy looked down at Ed, and Ed muttered. “Come on.”

Looking between Ling and Ed, Envy slunk back down in their chair, backing down sufficiently.

Envy still had an edge about them, which only softened when Ed leaned in and whispered to Envy in a low voice.

“It’s not true, you know.”

Envy blinked at Ed in askance for a moment, confused, before daring to hope what the alchemist could have possibly meant.

Before Envy could clarify, Greed interrupted, taking a sip of his new glass of scotch.

“Anyway, my point is, no I haven’t killed your men. The idea that I would is ridiculous, and given that fact it seems you’ve a far bigger problem on your hands.”

“Do you know anything about the other homunculus we’re looking for?” Roy asked, focused on Greed, oblivious to the silent interaction between Ed and Envy that had the deployed homunculus agent watching Edward Elric with a mixture of wonder and regret, while Ed looked stubbornly forward, his cheeks tinting red.

“Well, if it’s not this one’s doing –“ Greed gestured to Envy without really looking at them. “And you’ve still got my other siblings locked up, then it can only be one of two people.”

“Why one of two people?” Breda asked. “Is there a chance that this could be a collaborative effort? What are the chances we’re dealing with not one rogue murderer, but two?”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we don’t all get along.” Greed shrugged and knocked back his drink.

“The rest of us get along just fine.” Envy couldn’t help but add snidely, despite the fact that they were lying. “It’s just filthy betrayers we don’t like.”

“I didn’t betray shit.” Greed shot back.

“You deserted us.” Envy accused.

“I left for a reason.” Greed raised his voice.

“You’re a coward.” Envy hissed. “You’re weak. And selfish. You only care about yourself.”

Roy tried not to roll his eyes. He didn’t know why he expected this little endeavour to reunite Envy’s family to be successful. It seemed that agreeing to let Envy chase down their remaining relatives, while beneficial to the case in theory, was more like an exercise in observing dysfunction. Roy had no desire to play the mediator, but this family squabbling seemed determined to run its course.

“You don’t know shit about me Envy. Or why I left.” Greed stuck his jaw out stubbornly, turning around on his bar stool to face his sibling.

“It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why Greed the Avaricious wouldn’t want to be restricted, locked in a cage.” Envy spat venomously. “You want the world in the palm of your hand, rather hard to do behind several feet of reinforced steel. I always knew you were self-centred, but I didn’t think you’d stoop so low. To leave us all to the military’s tender devices.”

“I left before all that.” Greed raised his voice, locking eyes with Envy. “Daddy-sir and I had a disagreement. Very ‘my road or the high road’, hardly surprising I chose to walk out and never look back.”

“You didn’t just walk out on Father, you walked out on all of us. If you were there, you could have – we wouldn’t – you didn’t –“ Envy spluttered, obviously upset. “Clearly you knew what happened to us. You knew. Hundreds of years, we’ve been kept locked in cages, and you’ve been holed up here, drinking, hiding away from your problems. For a man who wants everything, everything in the world, it’s obvious you never gave a damn about wanting your family back.”

Greed slammed his fist on the bar counter, causing Havoc, and several members of Greed’s crew to jump instinctively.

“That’s NOT true.” Greed glowered at Envy, before pointing at them viciously. “Screw you Envy. And shut your damn mouth, you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Well I hope you’ve been enjoying your freedom.” Envy sneered at Greed, and gestured to their own back. “I’ve got the price you paid for it sewn into my back.”

“Pfft.” Greed waved his hand at Envy dismissively, turning around to pour himself another drink.

“And so does Lust!” Envy called out, and Greed froze still in his seat, the words hitting him hard.

“Lust…” Greed paused, his voice sounding almost raspy, gutted with emotion.

“You don’t want to begin to know what they’ve done to her.” Envy glowered at their brother, finally having dragged some sort of satisfying reaction out of him.

Greed spun around on his bar stool and hopped off it, walking angrily towards Envy.

“Well, why are you working for them, huh? Why are you hanging around?”

Greed’s aggressive stance and raised voice had Riza raise her gun warily at the leather clad man, Havoc and Breda followed suit, aiming their weapons at Greed.

Greed lunged a step toward the squad, stopping abruptly, laughing as his skin changed, metallic grey creeping over his features.

“Go ahead, shoot me. It’s not the worst you’ve done, you military scumbags.”

Riza narrowed her eyes at Greed, but did not pull the trigger, keeping her index finger along the length of the pistol.

“Bastards, the lot of you. Even you –“ Greed threw his hand at Ed, and extended the gesture to Roy. “State Alchemist dogs. You’re all involved, all complicit in this mess, whether you realise it or not. You’re all responsible, for what you did to my family, to my shitty sibling sitting there, to Martel, to Roa, to –“

“What did we do to you?” Roy spoke up, now looking at Roa in askance, obviously perturbed by these accusations.

“Boss.” Martel said softly urging Greed to be quiet.

Greed bit his tongue for a moment, holding himself back, before he spat on the ground in front of Roy.

“That’s what I think of you. You and your whole damn government.”

Greed staggered back to the bar, and tapped on the counter for another drink, chucking it back as soon as it was poured. He slammed the glass back down, and waved for another, compulsively drinking to deal with his irritation.

Envy was watching Greed’s behaviour, sitting beside Ed, narrowing their eyes shrewdly at their brother. Greed’s dramatic reaction was a lot to take in, somehow Envy didn’t quite believe that Greed’s ardour hit the right tone. For someone so aggrieved by the military, he had a funny way of showing it. All talk, spitting on the ground but taking no action. It was pathetic.

Roy carefully spoke, stepping around the puddle of spit on the floor delicately.

“We can understand your frustration, it’s clear you’ve been done a wrong, but you’ll find that not every member of the military stands for such mistreatment. Some of us are trying to do better.”

“I’ll believe that when I believe you’re not using my shitty sibling.”

“I’m sitting right here.” Envy waved at Greed, unimpressed. “Nice show, by the way. Totally believable.”

“I thought I told you to shut your mouth.”

“This arguing isn’t getting us anywhere.” Riza spoke up. “Full disclosure – you’re not the homunculus we’re looking for, however, there’s a chance these animal murders may be tied to our investigation, so unless you’re keen to volunteer information, this isn’t helping us.”

“Then leave.” Greed said flippantly and reached for another drink. “Unless you’re buying drinks, you’ve got no reason to be here, and we’ve got nothing to tell you.”

“I could stay for a drink.” Havoc looked over to Martel, loathe to leave the gorgeous blonde woman, and raised his hand but was swiftly shot down by a stern look from Riza, his hand sinking back down. “Never mind.”

“It would be in your best interests to cooperate with us on this investigation.” Roy insisted. “If you’re not responsible for the animal slaughter, or the homicides in Central then we have no reason to report you, or your establishment back to Central authorities.”

“Chh.” Greed, narrowed his eyes and turned on his bar stool to face Roy.

“Is that a threat?” Martel asked sharply.

“Back down Martel.” Roa urged her.

“No, they can’t take the Devil’s Nest. It’s ours.” Martel argued, impassioned.

“It’s mine.” Greed cut her off, snarling, before he sneered at Roy. “And you can’t have it.”

“Then work with us.” Roy said, holding his hand out as he spoke. “If you have information, share it. If you have a personal stake in this, then we can confer, and you’d be welcome to assist.”

“We help, then you turn us all in later.” Dolcetto jeered. “Isn’t that how it goes?”

“I have little desire to turn you in for merely existing off the radar.” Roy countered, meeting Greed’s gaze, determination affecting his features. “Circumstances being what they are, I can understand your reluctance to be known to the military. The military, as it is, has not always been kind to it’s people.”

Greed’s sneer turned into a frown, and his eyes slid to the side, lingering on Envy.

Turning to meet Roy’s determined dark eyes once more, Greed tipped his chin up, considering the Colonel, before he spoke.

“Fine. You want to chase murderers and psychopaths, be my guest.” Greed picked up his glass and tapped the edge with his pinky finger as he spoke. “Though you’ll need back up. Even with six soldiers, and your weapon of sass-destruction you’ll barely make it.”

Envy pulled a peculiar face at the nickname, and Ed snorted beside him. Envy shoved Ed with their elbow, but it was an oddly fond gesture.

“So you’ll join us?” Roy asked, almost surprised that Greed changed his tune so quickly.

“What’s this?” Ling leaned back on his chair and tapped Greed on the shoulder. “Are we all going?”

“Boss?” Martel spoke up, but she almost looked scared. “Are you sure?”

“Martel.” Greed looked over at the blonde woman, and his expression was oddly sincere. “It’s about time we had a talk with the man responsible, who did this to you. It’s about time we avenged you.”

Her brows furrowed, and she nodded.

“Time we avenged you all.” Greed looked around at his crew, who all looked similarly determined, moved by their boss’s words.

“Then it’s agreed? We’ll work together?” Roy questioned, weighing up the benefits of bringing Greed’s crew along when just an hour ago they were suspects.

Hearing that the animal murders were the work of ‘murderers and psychopaths’ was not comforting, neither was the implication that even with special agent Envy there was a chance they’d not make it out alive. Roy valued the lives of his men too much to allow them to venture haplessly into a trap. If Greed and their crew accompanied them, there would be less of a likelihood that they’d all be slaughtered.

That was comforting.

This investigation was turning out to be far more complicated than he previously thought, but when the plot thickens in an investigation, that is when one should look deeper.

Roy was here to uncover the truth.

Greed raised his glass and winked at Envy, before laughing.

“Just like old times!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a while. I was inspired by a very lovely person who went out of their way to tell me how much they wanted to see more of this fic, and I had this chapter half finished in my drafts for months. I'm excited to finish this story, though it will take some time. Thank you for being patient with me and I hope you enjoy the chapter.


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